RRRRIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!
“This is deni.” Looks at clock, it’s 3:25am. “Ah, Miss Danny,
when you bring our groceries tomorrow could you bring us some toilet paper,
Alex used the last of it a little while ago…thank you…God bless you…bye.” Now
I’m awake…so I begin to pray…the last time I remember looking at the clock it
was 5:15am…it’s now 7:15am…I’m going to be late.
I grab my coffee and head out the door…jump into my car..on
my way to the clinic…oh yuck, something rank reeks in the car…is it me? What
did I have for dinner last night…no..man that’s bad.
Crap.
Literally, lots of it on the bottom of my shoe, sock, pant
leg, floor mat. Ugh. Happy Monday…
As I walk in the door of the clinic, “deni to the front
desk.” Great. I run into the bathroom and rinse off, then into my office and
spray Lysol everywhere even on my pants. As I get to the front desk I’m paged
to Behavioral Health.
Meatloaf, one of my homeless guys wants to talk. “I don’t
know who it was but they beat the crap out of me, took my backpack and my
wallet…didn’t take my diabetes meds though…crap.”
I know the feeling. I walk him to my office. I stock him
up; wallet, Gatorade, crackers, bus tokens, backpack…he went to the ER no
broken bones. “Be safe out there.” “Thanx miss dinny.”
Back to BH. One of my regulars is not happy and taking it
out on the receptionists…I interrupt: ”Alice, let’s go to my office.” “Are you
going to ride with me again today to the ward made for me?” “That’s up to
you…did you take your meds this morning?” “I couldn’t I had to leave because
(She whispers) they were watching me…” I ask her to take her meds. She does. Alice
and I talk for awhile and off she goes.
My phone rings.
“This is deni.” “Jenny?” “Close enough.” “They transferred
me to you because they said you’ll take any calls.” “Okay, so what’s up?” “Do
you have a recipe to make meth?” “What?” “Okay, so we’ve been drinking for a
few days, but we figured since we’re not working we could start making meth and
make some money that way…”
“Oh, cool…call 918-596-9222 and tell them what you want to
do and they’ll take good care of you.” “Cool, thanx.” “yep.”
A Code is called to the parking lot. I run outside and
meet security. There’s a guy standing behind a truck cussin’ up a storm at a
guy in another truck. The guy behind the truck said, “That idiot is as drunk as
a skunk and he thot he’d take off and hit MY TRUCK…I’ve called the police.”
Walking around to the driver side of the truck and I could smell him before I
got to him. “Wasssup? That guy is rea…(belch)..lly mad. I’m not movin’ until
the police get here.” “Sounds good…are those your beer cans down there?” “Oh, yeah,
I have an extra…want one?” “Thanx I’m good…did you come here alone?” “Nope, my
ol’ lady’s getting’ her anxiety pills…she’s been out WAY too long.” Then he
says, “Dang, smells like dog crap with Lysol, you smell that?” I sigh.
The police come and take guzzler to the pokey; I sit down
to write an incident report and I’m paged to medical.
“We can’t get her to quit crying…I can’t find out why
she’s here because she won’t stop crying.” I put my hand on the door, “Father
meet me here.” I walk in. It’s Judy. Wow, I haven’t seen her in months. She
grabs me and hugs me and leaves mascara and make-up on my jacket. She’s sorry.
She starts letting it out, her mother finally died…Judy had been primary
caregiver for her mom for 6 years…losing her mom was a relief but now Judy’s
not needed anymore. “My kids are sick of me…I can’t quit huggin’ and kissin’ my
grandkids…they cover their faces when they see me coming.” Judy wailed. Judy
beat cancer twice, ditched a cheatin’ and lyin’ husband after 23
years…everything’s different now…and she doesn’t know what to do with herself.
So she cries. She tells me about her mom like she has many times before…she
misses her. Listening, one of the things I do a lot and means the most. I told
her I was looking for a day center for an elder who needed some socialization…”I
was wondering if you have the time…would you go check them out for me? Let me
know what you think? I don’t know a better caregiver.” “Really? You NEED me?” “Yep,
let me get the addresses and whenever you have time…” “What time is it? Now, I can
go now!” She hugged me til I squeaked. “Did they not clean this room? What is
that I smell?”
“Deni, please call 1769.” I call and when the phone is
answered all I hear is a kid screaming at the top of his lungs. “I’m coming.” I
run to the lobby and see a toddler having a full-fledged tantrum in the corner,
as I approach the Mom is standing with her hands over her face. I kneel and
start to say something to the kidlet and she slugs me in the head with her
doll. Then she started to laugh…and hits me again. Mom just stands there staring.
I stand up and Mom comes back into the present…”I’m SO sorry…she hasn’t had
lunch and I forgot her snacks.” I offer a juice box and a package of crackers.
As I turn to walk away the little one hits me again…and giggles. Security
smirks at me, “You have such a way with kids…” He smiles.
I head back to my office to try typing the incident report
again. The phone rings. I hesitate. Then my door flies open and Jeffrey walks
in. “I got to F&CS on one bus token, I got a transfer…but that was because
Allan was driving the bus…I spent last night on a porch...it wasn’t bad…I laid
there and watched my breath in the moonlight…until the dog showed up…wow…it
smells like a dog in here….I gave him half my sonic burger…and then my “gang of
3” showed up and we talked until the sun came up…went to the Gates for
breakfast…can I get another token? I need to go to Admiral and Garnett to get
another phone…I had one, or two but no more no more…gotta get another one…I got
my appointment with whoever you told me to see….oh, can I have a Gatorade too?
You really need to do something about the smell in here…my eyes are
watering…thanx miss demi…I know, I know `stay safe’…” and he was gone. I forgot
what I was doing.
Oh rats, I missed another meeting…oh no…I missed it
yesterday…ugh. My door flies open. He stumbles into my desk and then collapses
onto a chair. He is REALLY drunk. “I AM READY FOR REHAB….” He looks at me and
smiles. I am getting a contact high from the smell of listo. “Walt…run out of
Vodka? I smell Listerine??” “I’m not drunk…I came here to get help…the room is
moving.” “You need to sober up and come back and then we’ll talk about
rehab…we’ve had this conversation MANY times before.” “I want to have it now.”
“You won’t remember anything I say…Walt? Walt?” He is fading…I push him into the
chair in the corner and lean his head against the wall...” I tear up as I look
at him, thank you Jesus that he is still alive…okay, now back to my incident report
and I’m paged again…
Then there are those days when someone wants
to kill himself, a Grandma tells me she has no hope, a kid’s getting bullied, a
girl cuts herself, a girlfriend is abused, a young man struggles with his
identity, the foster family gets another baby with nothing, a widower stops
taking his insulin, the teen is pregnant again, someone dies unexpectedly…these
are days when I am reminded what WE do is invaluable.
I’m not alone. There are Social Workers all
over our state who can share similar days. Many of them are about to lose their
jobs. You can make a difference; let your voice be heard .contact your legislators.
Better yet contact your pastor and ask him
if your church will adopt a non-profit that is changing and saving lives…there’s
one right down the street from your church.
If you don’t, I promise you, one day you’ll
contact a Social Worker for help. The gap is a gaping hole, don’t make excuses
any longer! You are needed! Take Action!
We
can do more! We can do better!
In His service, deni A. fholer, LMSW, CCFP executive director/president Isaiah 58, In His service, Inc.
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