12th Annual Holiday Helping Hands Project - Love You More

“Are you ready to be adventurous?”

“Aunt deni, you’re not gonna make me get on top of the van are you?”

“Maybe later. See that lady at the bus stop? How about grabbing a blessing bag and wish her a Merry Christmas?”

His face lit up. He grabbed a bag and holding it out, he walked up to her. Her hands covered her mouth and then she wrapped her arms around him. I could hear her saying, “Thank you, Merry Christmas.” He was beaming when he got back into the van.

So, my 14 year old nephew and I drove around Tulsa delivering Christmas gifts to some of the 36 individuals and families we adopted for our 12^th annual Holiday Helping Hands Project. And along the way he gave blessing bags to lots of folks. It was amazing. This was the Friday before Christmas. This year was like no other.

On November 28^th we had $26.75 in our bank account. I reminded God that we were all in and He was not a God of disappointment and we had an upcoming deadline for one crusty ol’ guy that we had been loving on. I went to the post office after work expecting a gift.

It wasn’t there.

Okay, what have I missed? We made a promise that we would keep, but how? ‘God, who were you nudging to give to us, who isn’t listening? Will you nudge them harder…I promised we’d pay this bill.’ My eyes filled with tears, as I looked at my checkbook sitting on the passenger seat. Oh, wow am I slow. ME, you’re nudging ME. It was Wednesday and I was getting paid on Friday. I wrote the check. We paid the debt for the individual and I still had money in my account when I got that Friday paycheck. Praise Jesus!

All of our folks had been adopted except for 16 families, which meant the ministry would buy for them. We made two deposits on the 16^th for a total of $1400 and we received a check for $2,000 on the 17^th. Awesome!!! Everyone would be covered. In fact we adopted three more families the week of Christmas!

Don, a senior friend, who our family adopted two decades ago, wasn’t feeling well and refused to go to the hospital. A doctor friend of mine came to see him on Sunday and told me, “He’s dying.” I took a deep breath and we began to put a plan together and I went back to Don’s bedroom where he had been the past few days. I guess I had “that look” on my face because he reminded me, “I’m not gone yet, but you know I’m ready.” Monday he agreed to call an ambulance.

When EMSA arrived all were surprised to hear one of the paramedics say, “Oh, wow, I knew I’d been here before, hey man, I read your book!!” Don has written four books, which he proceeded to clarify. God knew exactly what he needed, and a book boost was it. Don was admitted with pneumonia on Monday night.

Tuesday morning at work, I received a call from my sister telling me that my mother had taken a turn for the worse. It was agreed to call in Hospice. I sensed I needed to be with Mom, but we had promised to pay an insurance premium for a man so he could have surgery that was scheduled in two days. I got a call from the hospital telling me his insurance had been cancelled. I called his employer and she said, “I can’t reinstate his insurance until the first month is paid for.” I had mailed the payment two days earlier, but it wouldn’t get to her in time. I told her I was on my way.

I gave her a check and told her when she receives the one I mailed to apply it to January’s payment. Then I jumped on 169 and drove to Mom’s nursing home. As afternoon turned to evening, we were all gathered at her bedside telling her good-bye. But, she rallied. “Love you Mom.” She smiled and said, “Love you more,” her signature reply each time we told her we love her.

When I got home I had a number of messages on my phone. One was Don’s doctor from the hospital. She said that they had called a code and revived him. I was his health care proxy and I reminded the doctor he was ready to leave this earth and go to glory. We agreed to put him on comfort care the same day we put my Mom on Hospice.

Wednesday, Mom continued to rally and eating toast, bacon and strawberry jam. So, I headed up to the hospital. I walked into the room to find a doctor talking to a nurse. I told him who I was and I confirmed that Don did not want extraordinary measures to keep him alive. I was on one side of the bed and the doctor was on the other. Tears began to flow as I talked to the doctor. Don reached up and put his hand on my cheek. The doctor looked at Don and said, “Are you ready to go see Jesus?” Don’s face beamed and he said, “JJJeeesssuuusss! Dooollllyyy!” His Savior and his wife who died long ago; he was ready.

His breakfast came and he ate with gusto. But, by lunch time he didn’t want a tray, but something else, “Brraauuuum’s” and he held up 3 fingers. I smiled, “You want Braum’s Neapolitan ice cream?” He smiled. Off I went. I came back with a full cup of ice cream. He ate every bite without opening his eyes once.

The professional part of me was locked into Social Work mode but the personal side was clinging to the robe of Jesus. Where did I need to be? With Mom? With Don? Buying and wrapping gifts? As God has always done for me, He comforted me, encouraged me and reminded me He’s got this - through music. Which is ironic if you’ve ever heard me sing.

Each time I got into my car, for a whole month, God played the song I needed exactly when I needed to hear it. “Breath of heaven, Hold me together, Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven, Breath of heaven, Lighten my darkness, Pour over me your holiness, For you are holy, Breath of heaven, Do you wonder as you watch my face, If a wiser one should have had my place, But I offer all I am, For the mercy of your plan, Help me be strong, Help me be, Help me.” Breath of Heaven - Amy Grant.

I trusted Him. I believed He would get me where I needed to be, when I needed to be there, but I prayed my free will wouldn’t get in His way. I got up early on Thursday morning and headed to Wal-Mart. I finished buying for our families. Then I headed to the hospital. Shortly thereafter my sister came up. By this time Don was one step closer to seeing his Savior…

I was going to leave for a few minutes; I picked up my coat and in walked a friend of Don’s. So I put my coat down. After he left, Elaine was going to leave, but housekeeping mopped the floor, so she decided to wait until the floor dried. We were alone with him. His breathing changed and his breaths became softer and further apart. I held his hand and we watched him take his last breath. It was 2:30pm.

God kept us with him. Calls were received and decisions were made. I texted his life group, Luke 10, to tell them he was finally home. A dear friend of mine came to the hospital with a Café Latte in hand. Before his body was removed, we were prayed for by one of the owners of the funeral home.

Mom was still rallying so I went home and finished wrapping and bagging gifts. Friday my nephew and I played Santa. We had delivered to everyone we promised to. A widow and Veteran, a family whose Dad had lost his job, a family that had been homeless for a year and just got housing, a boy who recently lost his Dad, a senior with dementia, a woman who recently had cataract surgery and could see for the first time in years, two homeless women, a homeless man, a grandpa raising his granddaughter, a Mom whose boyfriend abandoned her, two women struggling with depression, a man who has lost four jobs this year, a single Mom and her three kids, a Mom and adult daughter who both have serious health conditions, a woman who lives in a nursing home and has never had any family visit, a Grandma who lives with her daughter who struggles with mental illness, a woman trapped in her home due to hoarding, a Mom and Dad who are intellectually challenged. Each family and individual we give to are divinely guided to us. We ask for Christmas lists and promise they will be wrapped and delivered before Santa comes down the chimney on Christmas Eve. For 12 years we have fulfilled that promise, with God’s help and dedicated donors.

The week after Christmas we met with the funeral home, informed Don’s family of his passing, his friends and I wrote his obituary, in it we invited people to call for a Bible and prayer, and it was in the Tulsa World on December 28^th, his 93^rd birthday, the same day of his visitation.

January 1st it was freezing cold outside. As I was driving to church I saw one of my homeless guys. A gentle spirit. We have been loving on him for almost 7 years. He served in the National Guard but landed in the streets after his wife died. I pulled over and invited him into the van. He was so cold he couldn’t speak. I took him to church and gave him about 4 cups of coffee and some cocoa. He eventually warmed up and said he was hungry so I took him to McDonald’s. Then I drove him back to his friend’s house and strongly encouraged him to stay inside. “Don’t worry about me little sis.” It was the last time I saw him alive. He died on January 5^th at the age of 56.

The following Thursday my Mom began declining. This time there would be no rally to follow. She died early on Monday morning, January 9^th. Three weeks from the day we put Mom and Don on Hospice, they were both in Heaven.

The day after Mom died I was invited to the first, You Are Special transitional house. About 11 of us gathered in this newly remodeled home. We sang songs. We prayed. We talked about why God had brought us together. We listened to the testimony of a young couple, who were drowning in drugs and sin, yet Jesus reached out to them in miraculous ways. What God is doing in their lives is powerful. They are the beginning of the end of generational sin in their families.

Most everyone in the room had known Jesus but confessed of turning our backs on Him and then repenting time and time again. But, the message that resonated was that all the times before, we weren’t serious. We still believed we could be the servant God called us to be by trying harder. Only until we fall on our faces at the feet of Jesus and surrender every single piece of us to Him; only then can He truly use us. Only then can we be a part of the miraculous. It was the rawness of the surrender in the room that welcomed Jesus. I was exactly where I needed to be, so thankful.

God will give us more than we can bear. He did me. He gave me way much more than I could handle this past month. He wants us to need Him and Him alone. In my own strength I would have crashed and burned early on. But, because I confessed to Him that I had no idea how to be at three places at once, the needs were too big and I was exhausted and I had nothing, not a drop left. It was then that I surrendered. I cried out to Him to lead wholly and completely. He quietly picked me up and carried me to the other side. He got me where He needed me to be because I wasn’t fighting Him, I was holding onto Him with both hands.

Now that I look back over the past month, I am humbled by His love. Love that was evident in the kindness of others, of subtle gestures, of His mercy and grace and impeccable timing. He is teaching me that He really does love us, that much. That if you were the only person on earth, He would still have sent His son to die for you. I hope that sinks in.

After the time of fellowship on Tuesday evening, I got in the car and turned on the radio, “,Your love is my armor, I fear no evil, Darkness runs from Your light, So I won’t be afraid, I won't be afraid, You’re going before me and oceans are parting, You’re fighting my battles, When my feet are failing and my heart is shaking, You’re fighting my battles, Time after time, You’re my refuge, You heal every scar, You’re guarding my heart, Your promise, the hope that I cling to, My rescue, my friend, You come rushing in.” Battles – The Afters

I am filled to overflowing and I can’t see what I’m writing because of thankful tears. Know that each of you who chooses to love on our families and folks mean so much! Each of you who bought gifts, sent a check, donated turkeys and clothes and backpacks, a Christmas tree, prayers, bikes and blessing bags touched lives for Jesus. Thank you for being obedient to the nudgings of Jesus!! Thank you to those who loved on me this month. Each prayer was savored and answered.

Know that you are prayed for. May you surrender all.

In His service, deni

We can do more. We can do better.

“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel form the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:3-6