Saturday, February 1, 2014

Eddie Warrior Commencement Address November 2013


I was asked to give the commencement address to the graduating class at Eddie Warrior Correctional Center on November 07, 2013.  There were 44 ABE graduates, 18 Literacy graduates, 4 Connors State College graduates and 61 GED graduates. It was an honor I will cherish forever. Thank you to Harrel Tomlin and Warden Sharon McCoy.

Hellllooo. It is just so awesome that I get to be here with you on this special day!           

Not long after I graduated from high school my Mom told me I could either go to college or I could go to California and try my hand at my dream career – which was becoming a stuntwoman!  At the time I did NOT want to go to college so I headed to CA. I stayed out there for 3 years and I was stoked to be able to learn all kinds of stunts, like being thrown out of buildings, set on fire, hit by cars, doing vehicle transfers. I got to write and perform in live action dramas and meet some really famous people. I eventually got my Screen Actors Guild card and did a few movies and television shows. I must tell you that after a 20+ year career my entire screen time lasts about as long as a cat in water…meooww...

I returned to Tulsa and got involved in a church and an incredible life group. Even though I was saved when I was 8yo, this period of time with Jesus showed me what relationships were all about. He introduced me to serving outside my comfort zone and taught me what obedience was all about. During this time Jesus revealed to me some invaluable truths. At some point in my life I would be called into ministry. He gave me the chapter of Isaiah 58 in the Bible as a promise that the lessons and truths in that chapter would one day come to fruition in my life.  He also impressed upon me that I would never marry and I would never have children. He was preparing me for a life that would be radically different from many of my peers.

However, I was enthusiastic and impatient so I met with one of my pastors and I told him what God had shown me. I guess I thot he’d go, “Wow, that’s great, let me help you get that ministry up and running.” Instead he was somewhat condescending and patted my hand and told me that I was too young and inexperienced to serve God in such a big way.  He told me I knew nothing of the world and I needed life experience before I could minister to others.  I was devastated and I began to doubt my faith and my relationship with Christ. Did I not hear God? Was I really that far off base? I figured I had no discernment and was just screwing everything up…

I distinctly remember talking with a friend at the time and I said, “If the pastor is right then I need to find out what the world is all about. So, I’m putting God on a shelf and maybe I’ll get back to Him and maybe I won’t.”  As I said that I felt as if Jesus’ hand was lifted from me – He didn’t leave me mind you – but He is a gentle God and He allowed me to exercise my free will and go out and mess up my life…at least for awhile.

I experienced the world and I made tons of mistakes, I hurt lots of people but mostly I disappointed me…and with each mistake I made there was a part of me that was sad because in my heart I knew I was intentionally and knowingly choosing to sin. 

I began working for a residential treatment program for abused and neglected children. Those little ones had been physically, sexually, emotionally and verbally abused.  They were  very damaged children and experienced more torture and suffering by the age of six than many of us experience in a lifetime.   

During my 7 years at the Yahweh Center…I saw how God could transform lives.  Because one of the lives He transformed was me.  Jesus reminded me that He loved me and He still had a plan and a purpose for my life…if only I would seek His forgiveness.  He reminded me that He knew all about my rebellion and my secrets and He still cared for me.  He was still waiting with open arms for me to repent and turn from my life of sin…and eventually I did!

I met two amazing Social Workers and they encouraged me to go to college. I was 33 at the time and I laughed at them and said I would never make it, first, I was too old and second, I really sucked in school.  In fact when I started the first grade I hated it. I was used to playing outside and then all of a sudden I had to sit in a class and write and listen!! AAHHH. So, one day I decided to hit my teacher over the head with my lunch pail and I went screaming down the hallway and out the front door. My sister was in 6th grade, sitting in the principal’s class as I made my dramatic exit. Needless to say she was mortified.  However, she did eventually forgive me, which is a reminder of God’s ability to soften hearts.

I took one college class with encouragement from these social workers and hey the school didn’t implode and I actually passed the class! I worked full-time and went to college on a half time basis for 7 years. Finally, one of the counselors called me in and said, “You know deni if you ever want to get a degree you’ll need to go to school full-time.” I applied at Meredith College in Raleigh and was accepted and earned by Bachelors in Social Work degree. Then I went to UNC-Chapel Hill for my Masters in Social Work. It took me 10 years to get 2 degrees. I got a few scholarships but I took the responsibility for paying for my education myself. I now have a license in Social Work and I’m a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional. I will always have student loans…but I would do it all again the same way in a heartbeat.  My education is something I worked hard for and it means the world to me. Most importantly, it is God’s plan for my life. Because of my education He has me serving Him in ways I never could have without going to school.

In 2004 I moved back to Tulsa after living in NC for 16 years.  My family lives there and my house is in the heart of the population He has called me to minister to.  I spend most of my time w/ folks who are hurting. People who put God on a shelf, like I did and are lost in despair and hopelessness.  I am a Crisis Social Worker now and there are days when I am literally in the midst of life or death situations.  I could never do what I do without my life experiences or without my education or most importantly without my Heavenly Father.

God fulfilled His promise to me when Isaiah 58, In His Service became a 501©3 nonprofit ministry in 2010. You see I did hear the Father all those years ago when He told me I was going to be called into ministry. However, the pastor was right, 30 years ago I wouldn’t have been prepared for the ministry I am doing today.  Even though I left Christ to experience the world…He was teaching me and growing me even in my disobedience.  He knew that one day I would come back. He knew that He would one day use me to serve Him once I got out of His way and got the world out of my system. I was His prodigal daughter.

I must admit there were days when I felt so small, so insignificant in a big cruel world. I wondered how God could care about me. With all the chaos out there He had to be distracted from even knowing I existed.

I went on a mission trip to Guatemala last month. This trip was being planned about a year before we were to leave.  The villages we were to visit were being decided upon months ago.  One of the villages we went to was St. Joseph’s high in the mountains in an extremely remote area.  When our van rounded a corner, we could see on the crest of a hill hundreds of people standing in line waiting for us.  It was a humbling sight.

We took a medical team with us.  This village had NEVER had a medical team visit them before, in fact many of the villagers had never seen a doctor.  But, on this particular Wednesday on this particular day in October God divinely guided our team to this village for a specific purpose.

One of the doctors listened to the heart of an 8yo little girl and determined a defect. She had a hole in her heart.  The pediatric nurse practitioner examined another child that had pneumonia.  Both of these children were transported to Guatemala City for medical treatment that saved both of their lives.  The coordination and networking that had been established over the proceeding years came into play on that specific day so that these two little ones could be saved.

God cared so much for these 2 children that He orchestrated everything so we would be there and have the supports in place to make a difference in the lives of these families. We were not there by chance or coincidence.  Isn’t that just the coolest?  Now, if God can bring a bunch of Americans thousands of miles away to a remote mountain village for 2 children – He can touch your life right where you are, right now, even in this little town of Taft, Oklahoma. He sees what you’ve accomplished, what you are struggling with, what you’re afraid of, what you want, what you need and He wants to be here for you.

Psalms 139 says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well…How precious to me are your thots, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand, When I awake I am still with you!”

So, now it is not my life, it is His. He is no longer on the shelf…but I am. You see the greatest gift He has taught me is that He is all I need. I have worked with so many women who feel as if they have to have a man in their life to feel complete or because they are codependent or just can’t stand being alone.  Now, I realize not everyone is called to be single like I am. But, the key is laying your life at the foot of the cross and being willing to do whatever He calls you to do.  Once you do that…then He will give you the desires of your heart. Because once you give Him all of you, you’ll only want what He wants for you and that is His best.

Ladies you have accomplished much. Don’t stop. Now that you’ve come this far…keep going.  Ask God to show you what His plan and purpose for your life is.  I promise it will be better than anything you could ever dream of yourself.

Ladies, you rock!!!  Congratulations!

 

Thursday, November 07, 2013

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