Praying Tulsa!

John Wesley said, “God does nothing except in response to believing prayer.” For the last 13 weeks, Isaiah 58, In His Service has been putting feet to our prayers. We started on July 4^th at Woodward Park where we prayed for our ministry, our nation and the future of our Sunday morning prayer time. Our heart’s desire was to truly travel the city and cover every inch in prayer.

In July we went to the Education Center and prayed for our students, teachers and support staff.  Then to Maybelle Bridge and we prayed for our homeless and those who work with them.

On July 31^st we gathered at Reconciliation Park and prayed for our local and national elections, politicians and leaders; we prayed for us to be reconciled with our brothers and sisters and to firmly place Hope between hostility and humiliation.

In August we went to David L. Moss and prayed for the inmates, the Sheriff’s department, the guards, Police Chief Chuck Jordan and Sheriff Vic Regalado. On the 14^th we were at the Tulsa Housing Authority and we prayed for those in subsidized housing and those who work for THA, DHS and the Health Dept. The next Sunday we were at Life Senior Services and we prayed for our seniors, in assisted living, nursing homes and living alone and we prayed for everyone who works and volunteers with them. On the 28^th we were in the parking lot of First Baptist Church and we prayed for the poor and for our churches to be inspired to do lasting and life changing outreach for the poor in our community.

In September we asked you to step outside your front door and pray for your neighbors. On September 11^th we took some of our Comanche Park kids to visit Fire Station 7 to say “thank you.” We even took some delicious Icing on the Top cupcakes as a gift. We toured the fire station and prayed for our city’s first responders, fire, police and medical. On the 18^th we asked you to pray for those who you said you would pray for and never got around to it. We gave you a “do over” day.  On the 25^th you were invited to Prayer Drive, Prayer Walk and Prayer Sit for our city wherever God led you that day.

On September 16^th our city stood still. It happened to us. A member of our community was shot and killed by a police officer and we were thrust into the national media spotlight.

But, what has happened in other cities did not happen in Tulsa. There was no violence, no senseless destruction of property. The Metropolitan Baptist Church opened wide its doors and invited – everyone – inside to mourn and wail and cry – together.  And in we went.

Isaiah 58, In His service outreach of prayer was intentional and divinely guided. We had no idea what lie ahead of us, but God did.  We still do not know what is before us, but we know we must remain on our knees in earnest prayer.

We believe we must pray continuously. We are looking for a Sunday or Monday night gathering place to come together and pray. It will be an open invitation to any and all to come and join us. Even if only two of us show up in person, we are reminded that where two or more are gathered, God is in our midst. We want to pray for you and those you care about because God hears and answers.

"The prayer power has never been tried to its full capacity. If we want to see mighty wonders of divine power and grace wrought in the place of weakness, failure and disappointment, let us answer God's standing challenge, "Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not!'" (J. Hudson Taylor)

Know that you are prayed for.

In His service,

deni A. fholer

Homelessness

He couldn’t calm down. He was on the verge of sobbing, but he was talking so fast, his tears couldn’t catch up. His tics overwhelmed his face and then he couldn’t catch his breath. I looked him in the eyes and said his name over and over again…then I began saying Jesus’ name over and over again.  There was some recognition in his eyes and he said, “I don’t think I can do this much longer,” and then the tears came in force.

He had been homeless for about 9 months and he’d never been homeless before. He was scared to death, and he didn’t understand the street rules and kept ticking people off. Isaiah 58, In His service put him in a motel for a week. He started to become his old self after two days of solid sleeping.  But this is not enough…

She is addicted to meth. So many times she comes to me so high that she babbles and cries and asks for help and then would disappear for weeks.  She, so far, keeps coming back and never remembers the last conversation we had.  The last time I saw her she was sober and back with her old man, who beats her when they’re high. She quoted scripture and said all of the things that we Christians want to hear from lost sinners. But, there is still no light in her eyes.  We gave her the Bible she requested. We give her backpacks, hygienes, Gatorade, snacks and socks over and over again because when she’s high everything gets stolen or she wanders off and leaves everything behind. But this is not enough…

He was a hard hat guy. He climbed poles to fix transformers and could maneuver just about everything made by Caterpillar. He was renting a room in a house and all he did was work and relax. The perfect life to him.  Then he got hurt. He had no insurance, no savings and he needed rehab time. The doctor couldn’t release him to do the work he’s always done. He couldn’t wrap his mind around doing another kind of work. He’s on the streets. His camp is an abandoned house.  He’s befriended a woman with schizophrenia and he wants us to help her more than he wants help himself. The heat is really getting to him, “Can you get so hot that your brains melt?” We give him Quik Trip gift cards because he loves their sandwiches. We give him T-shirts and shorts and shoes and lots of Jalapeno crackers, those are his favorite. But this is not enough…

They’ve been meth addicts for years. They recently met Jesus and they’re trying to stay clean. They both have kids that have been taken by DHS. He’s been thrown in jail numerous times for not paying his fines. Financially with all of the fines and fees and living expenses, they are starting to sink and those who are working closely with them are praying they don’t relapse. “I mean I know God is real but it’s getting worse. We’ll never get ahead it’s like the more we pay the further behind we get.”  Isaiah 58, In His service is helping them with rent so they can try to find a way through this mess.  But it is not enough…

He was a professional. He was working a good job, had some of the finer things of life.  He was living life on his terms and all was well. Then he had a car wreck. Without insurance he has thousands of dollars of medical bills. He has virtually no support system.  He hurts almost all of the time from his injuries, depression is overtaking him. His car was totaled and he’s living in a shelter. He is starving for hope, but he told us he works hard at getting through the day, he can’t believe this has happened to him. He considers suicide often, “I’m almost out of hope. “ We listen and provide small gifts of love and encouragement. But it is not enough…

Homelessness. It tries to consume Moms and Dads, Grandmas, Children, Laborers, Professionals, literally every walk of life, and sometimes it does, it pushes them to the brink. It is no respecter of age; there are homeless babies, toddlers, teens, and seniors in their 80’s. They each have a story, a life before homelessness. They pray for a life after being homeless. They don’t want to stay homeless but just surviving takes all of their energy and the system is one big obstacle that works against them getting back to self-sufficiency. What each of them need is stable, sustainable, secure housing.

Isaiah 58, In His service loves on so many homeless people. We are always humbled by their stories. Homeless people are some of the most resilient people we have ever met. So many have a sense of humor that catches us by surprise. They are the most appreciative people for the simplest of gifts.  We are so blessed for our calling to befriend, love and help these amazing people.

Housing. Our fervent prayer is for Isaiah 58, In His service to be a ministry that provides housing. Not just a motel for a week or two. Not pay rent for a month or two. But, to provide housing for as long as it is takes. We need emergency housing. We need a safe place for Moms and kids, when they’re new to town or their house burns down. We need a place for those who are injured to recuperate. We need a place for those who have no one, to die with dignity and be surrounded by love. We need a place for those who are sinking in debt to stay for free so they can pay their bills and get ahead. We need a place for those who are discharged from a psychiatric facility to stay and be helped with medications and consistency. We need a safe place for folks to stay while they are waiting to get into rehab. 

Last Friday deni received a call from First Baptist Jenks. They had leftover hot dogs and sandwiches and asked if we could give them away. ABSOLUTELY!! It was an incredibly large container full of food!! We laid hands on the bag and prayed for the journey ahead, asking God to lead us to those who needed loving on the most. And to the streets we went…

Just around the corner was David. He was sitting in the shade and smiled as we pulled over. He stood up and shook deni’s hand as we introduced ourselves. He said he has been homeless for awhile, he stays on the streets and stays by himself. A Bible was beside him and he commented. “You can’t be on the streets without Jesus.” He took some sandwiches and told us he had been praying for where he could go to get something to eat.

Douglas was sitting on his suitcase at the bus stop, Melissa was high and lost, Johnny was in the enclosed doorway of a church, and Alan thought deni was going to run over him. He was on his bike and was waving us on. We slowed and yelled, “Hungry?” He slammed on his brakes and leaned into the car window, “You did say hungry!” He said he was on his way to fly a sign for him and his friends, because they hadn’t eaten all day. So, we loaded him up with sandwiches, “Hallelujah! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Praise Jesus!!”

Then there was the couple drinking beer with nothing to eat. The two guys sitting outside smoking, thrilled to get a bite to eat. Jarrod was passed out on a sidewalk. We woke him up and he had been bleeding but we couldn’t figure out from where. He kept reaching for a hand to shake; so we shook hands quite a few times. He refused to go to the hospital. He sat up and was trying to figure out where he was. He took a couple of sandwiches and said he was headed somewhere, but wasn’t sure where. We drove by later, but he was gone.

We drove over to a church where a lot of homeless guys hang out. One was yelling and preaching to no one in particular, a few were flat on their backs, another one was loudly reminding us he was hungry too. The front man was Dennis. He said he lost his sister and Dad recently and he was trying to take care, “Of all these misfits.” We gave him a few bags of sandwiches and he said he would be sure everyone got something to eat.  "I don’t know why you’re out here tonite but God bless you.”

How cool is this? One church’s leftovers became a feast to a group of guys and gals who needed someone to know they were alive and they matter.  Isaiah 58, In His service blesses those God brings alongside us. Sometimes it’s in big ways where we wipe out a debt and in little acts of kindness like Jalapeno crackers, bus tokens or Gatorade. We are so thankful that God uses us to shine a little hope on so many who are desperate for something to look forward to. But each day the needs get bigger and their lives are complicated and sometimes it takes everything we have to help someone.  As we face each crisis we are reminded, “God’s got this!” Time and time and time again He provides the moment it is needed.

Last Sunday we prayed for those in our school system, many by name. Thank you to those who sent names of folks to pray for. Tomorrow morning we’re going to pray for our homeless community and those who work in ministries and agencies loving on the homeless, like Night Light Tulsa, the Day Center, Salvation Army, Iron Gate, Indian Health Care Resource Center, Mental Health Association and John 3:16 and many more.  We’ll be under the Maybelle Bridge where Night Light Tulsa ministers every Thursday evening. Know that you are welcome to pray with us!

We also ask that you join us in prayer to provide shelter.  YouAreSpecial.net  has purchased a house and they are praying for God’s guidance. Join YouAreSpecial.net as they seek the Father. Please pray for us that we will be obedient in our role in supporting YouAreSpecial.net in providing housing.

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter – when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and He will say: Here am I. If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.” Isaiah 58: 6-12

Mother Teresa said, “We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love.”

We will continue to love on folks, provide the tangible and advocate for them.  We hope you will continue to love with us!!  Thank you for sacrificing to give gifts in kind, financial gifts and gifts of prayer! We are touching lives and sharing Jesus and meeting needs because you are giving first.  You are greatly needed and greatly appreciated!

Know that you are prayed for.

In His service, deni

 

Now is the Time...

Now is the Time…

How many of us didn’t go to church because of the rain. It’s just too hard to get the kids up, it’s so easy to stay in bed, we can miss just this once…oh wait, didn’t we say that the last three Sundays??

How many sat in church and nodded our heads in agreement with the pastor while we looked at our watch? How many slouched in the seat and played a game on our phones? How many went into the sanctuary late because we wanted just one more cup of coffee or we wanted to connect with our buddy about meeting at the gym? We will miss church to go to the gym, to the lake or just to stay home, “It’s my only day off.”

Church shouldn’t be routine. We shouldn’t have the morning activities memorized. It shouldn’t be just a place of socialization, it shouldn’t be ordinary and plain, it shouldn’t be comfortable and easy going. We shouldn’t expect things to happen the same every week.

What happened to the excitement of going to church? Has attending Sunday school and church ever been something we’ve looked forward to, something we couldn’t wait to do? Where’s the anticipation of meeting the living God?

Someone said, “A relationship with God that doesn’t change your life, is no relationship at all.” When’s the last time we were transformed, changed, renewed in our relationship with Jesus?

When was the last time Jesus was first in our lives…has He ever been?

Are we complacent and flat in our walk through life? Are we so de-sensitized by the tragedies in life that we push them aside and try to convince ourselves nothing like that will happen to us?

A pick-up truck on the Muskogee Turnpike rammed a car from behind sending it off of the highway, the truck sped on ahead. A man attempted to kidnap a 13 year old girl who was with her mother in a grocery store. An 18 year old man told his step-son to quit jumping on the bed, when the little boy didn’t stop; the man shot him in the back of the head and killed him.

Dear Jesus…

A man walked into a club with a rifle and a handgun and killed 49 people and injured 53. In a matter of minutes lives ended and hundreds of family members’ lives were forever altered.  None of them thought that could happen to them…

Is your heart breaking? Are you shedding tears? Are you crying out to the Father?  Or are you thinking, “Oh that’s horrible,” and then you continue living life the same way….

It. Will.Never. Happen.To.Me.

This is a wake-up call. All of those tragedies took place in the United States – in Oklahoma. We cannot call ourselves Christ followers if we do nothing. People are lost, they are miserable, they are full of hate and they are all around us. We cannot risk doing nothing, we must act. “Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did.” 1 John 1:6.

But, we’re living as if we’ll live forever. We’re living for ourselves. Isn’t the real reason we don’t prioritize church is because we really don’t think it makes a big difference? It just isn’t important enough. Or maybe we think just showing up will give us brownie points with Jesus.

Because you know God, really, I’ve got this…

If we go to church on Sunday and continue sinning the same sins during the week, why are we going? Do we drink to excess? Are we married but flirting with a co-worker? Are our stories about the weekend filled with lies? How many curse words fill our mouths? How many least of these do we ignore? How much are we spending at the casino? How much porn are we watching?

We live like the world revolves around us and we live like Pharisees, we claim we know Jesus but we only do the simple, the easy, the comfortable. Sometimes just driving to church is just too much effort…

Another truck driver, kidnapper, murderer is in the making. There is too much at stake to live life in a fog; to follow the status quo. We need to step up and start paying attention. We need to blanket Tulsa with prayer and love. Because “it’ could happen here, to you, to me…

It’s time to fall on our faces in repentance and ask God to fill us with Excitement, Joy, Courage, Fearlessness, Passion, Empathy and the Desire to do His will,

No.Matter.What.

Luke 10 is a life group at First Baptist Church. We have been having class for the past 5-1/2 years. We started the class because we saw a need. We wanted to be “the” life group that anyone could come to and feel welcome. Outcast, misfit, mentally ill, drug addict, alcoholic, poor, retired, business owner, teenager, manager, doctor – a place to encounter the living God.  We were blessed to see God in action through us as we reached out to many folks over the years. Visitors came and left but we had a core group of folks who have been a part of the class for the entire time. We did as God called us, but now it’s time to do the harder work..

Sunday, July 10^th is our last class. We can’t wait on them to come to us, anymore…we are going to go out to them…

To end Luke 10 we have been doing a book study of Barefoot Church by Brandon Hatmaker. Brandon was talking with a couple that was “done” with church. The wife said, “The church needs to care more about the poor! They need to fight injustice! They need to help the orphan and widow in their distress! They need to do what they say they’re about!” Brandon was a pastor of a mega-church and he said, ”We as church leaders tell our people to go. We tell them to be good news.  And we assume they do. We assume they know how. While we’ve been charged to `equip the saints’ for works of service, the brutal truth is that most of us have reduced our expectations of `serving’ to a once-a-month tour of duty as an usher or greeter. We’ve settled for serving ourselves and serving as an event rather than serving those in need and living a new way of life that Jesus has called us to…There’s got to be more to church than this.”

So Brandon and his wife Jen left the mega church and planted a church, Austin New Church.  The book offers testimonies of how they surrendered all to Christ and left the pews and moved into the communities, “Creating service-based, missional communities that end up being surprisingly as much about evangelism, discipleship, and real-life transformation as they are about serving others…more than anything, this book is about a Christ-centered gospel. By His example and through His teaching, my hope is that we are continuously being challenged to be good news to a lost, broken, and dying world. That God would open our eyes more and more each day to the needs of our community and world. That we would see it as the church’s responsibility to lead the charge in making a difference, not just on our own church campus, but also in our neighborhoods, our workplaces, our city, our nation, and our world.”

This is our fervent prayer. Let our churches start teaching their congregations about the poor; let us learn about resources and needs and gaps. Then let us step into those gaps with love. Let us love by going out to the lost and the poor and the miserable and the lonely. Let us ask the Father to set our hearts on fire for Him again. To wake up on Sunday morning excited and full of anticipation of what the Holy Spirit will do! We will look forward to going to Sunday school and church. Nothing will keep us from going because Jesus is moving and we are starving to be a part of His movement. Not just on Sundays but every day of the week.

Don’t you miss Him? Look around at this world…now is the time to surrender all.

Today was the kick off of “Putting Feet to Our Prayers!” Some of us joined hearts at Woodward Park this morning. We put feet to our prayers. While we were at the park, YouAreSpecial.net gathered on a hill in Sapulpa and prayed at the same time. There is power in prayer. Maybe some of you prayed at home with us. Maybe you didn’t come because well, it is July 4^th and well I didn’t even know where Woodward Park was, the car needed gas, well we’re going to a Fireworks show at 9:30pm tonite. That’s okay, you have more opportunities ahead…

Join Isaiah 58, In His service on Sunday, July 17^th at 7am at the Education Service Center at 3027 S. New Haven. We will pray for our teachers, students, support folks, school board, superintendent, etc. We’ll finish in time for you to get to church and Sunday school, filled with the Hope of Jesus!

Then on following Sundays we will meet wherever God leads us! We will pray in agreement and pray for restoration and healing and hope!!! I will send out an email the week before so you will know where we’ll meet. If you can’t come you can pray in agreement with us as we pray for our city leaders, churches, nonprofits, first responders, retailers, colleges, etc. We will pray for those we have taken for granted, for those we’ve ignored, for those we disagree with.

Our prayer is that you can come and pray and restore your relationship with Him and go to Sunday school and church totally in love with Him again. Maybe you will be so stoked for Jesus; you’ll go back to your church and ask about doing more for the poor. Maybe loving on the least of these will once again be a priority.

I’m praying for radical and reckless commitment to serving the poor and that one church will risk everything for the least of these. Tulsa New Church!?

God is waiting on us. We live like our God is small and unimaginative. He’s waiting on us to trust Him with everything. May Jesus become our first priority again.

Serving Jesus is risky.

Stepping out of the norm is scary.

I surrender all.

Will you?

https://youtu.be/CQA9YtcN1UA Love Comes to Life!

Know that you are prayed for.

In His service,

deni A. fholer

 

We can do more. We can do better.

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from Your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways and sinners will turn back to You.”

Psalm 51: 10-13

Father's Day

Father’s Day.

I lost my Dad just 7 months ago. I’m never ready for when the wave of grief sweeps over me. When I hear the word “papa” which is what his grandsons called him, it gets me. I was walking out with a patient as he was being wheeled to an ambulance and instantly I was back walking out with my Dad’s body to the hearse. Gosh, I miss him.

My sister made a collage of pictures of us with him. Memories I am so thankful for. Pictures I can glance at and immediately be transported back to the event that the picture was taken. Good stuff.

Dad’s you are so important to your kids, your grandkids, how you treat your wife and your daughters, essential. I was listening to the Christian radio station and Mark Hall with Casting Crowns was being interviewed. He said he and his son are walking through the book of John, “For John the Baptist to know what his purpose was, just to point to Jesus, amazing.” He said he tries to catch his son doing the right thing. “Hey man, you looked that elder in the eye and shook his hand, just like I taught you, that was awesome.” He said he tries not to add a “but” as much as he used to, “That was great but you need to….”

There is nothing more important than a Godly man in the life of a child. I talked to a woman in her 60’s the other day. Her life is miserable. She is sad and bitter and feels she is worthless. When I asked her what she could be thankful for, she said, “That I didn’t kill myself because then he would of won.”

The “he” was the man who was supposed to be a father to her. He berated and ignored and mocked and abused her. She has never met Jesus and she is full of hate and confusion. “Why? Why? I can’t stop the pain, I can’t throw the memories away.” 

Dad. The words you speak to your children will reverberate in their ears for years to come. Good or bad your impact will have a lifelong effect in the lives of your children. How you treat them; remember you will see that behavior again when they get old enough to model it. You will ask them, “Where’d you learn that?” They will answer, “You.” So choose your path carefully…they are watching and learning and emulating everything you do and say.

Doubting the importance of a Dad in the home???

Incarceration Rates. "Young men who grow up in homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those who come from traditional two-parent families...those boys whose fathers were absent from the household had double the odds of being incarcerated -- even when other factors such as race, income, parent education and urban residence were held constant." (Cynthia Harper of the University of Pennsylvania and Sara S. McLanahan of Princeton University cited in "Father Absence and Youth Incarceration." Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (September 2004): 369-397.)

Suicide. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities? )

Behavioral Disorders.  85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities? - see link below)

High School Drop Outs. 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities? - see link below)

Educational Attainment. Kids living in single-parent homes or in step-families report lower educational expectations on the part of their parents, less parental monitoring of school work, and less overall social supervision than children from intact families. (N.M. Astore and S. McLanahan, American Sociological Review, No. 56 (1991)

Juvenile Detention Rates. 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities? - see link below)

Confused Identities. Boys who grow up in father-absent homes are more likely that those in father-present homes to have trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender identity.(P.L. Adams, J.R. Milner, and N.A. Schrepf, Fatherless Children, New York, Wiley Press, 1984).

Aggression. In a longitudinal study of 1,197 fourth-grade students, researchers observed "greater levels of aggression in boys from mother-only households than from boys in mother-father households." (N. Vaden-Kierman, N. Ialongo, J. Pearson, and S. Kellam, "Household Family Structure and Children's Aggressive Behavior: A Longitudinal Study of Urban Elementary School Children," Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology 23, no. 5 (1995).

Achievement. Children from low-income, two-parent families outperform students from high-income, single-parent homes. Almost twice as many high achievers come from two-parent homes as one-parent homes. (One-Parent Families and Their Children, Charles F. Kettering Foundation, 1990).

Delinquency. Only 13 percent of juvenile delinquents come from families in which the biological mother and father are married to each other. By contrast, 33 percent have parents who are either divorced or separated and 44 percent have parents who were never married. (Wisconsin Dept. of Health and Social Services, April 1994).

Criminal Activity. The likelihood that a young male will engage in criminal activity doubles if he is raised without a father and triples if he lives in a neighborhood with a high concentration of single-parent families. Source: A. Anne Hill, June O'Neill, Underclass Behaviors in the United States, CUNY, Baruch College. 1993

Drug Use.  A study from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services concluded that fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse.  Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. National Center for Health Statistics. Survey on Child Health. Washington, DC, 1993

Online sources for the above data:

What Can the Federal Government Do To Decrease Crime and Revitalize Communities? from the National Institute of Justice, 1998, page 11

Cynthia Harper of the University of Pennsylvania and Sara S. McLanahan of Princeton University cited in "Father Absence and Youth Incarceration." Journal of Research on Adolescence 14 (September 2004): 369-397.

The Kingdom grew by two today! A Mom and a Dad said yes to Jesus!! They have two children. The focus of their household has forever changed. As they get to know Jesus more and more, their example as Godly parents will have a lifelong impact on their kids. But, the coolest thing is that they now know the forever love of Jesus Christ. The kind of Love that can change the world, one kidlet at a time!!

Know that you are prayed for.

In His service,

deni 

Medicaid and Churches

He’s five years old. He has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome with Plastic Bronchitis. He was born with this condition and has endured many surgeries and hospitalizations.

There is no cure.

Plastic bronchitis is a condition in which bronchial casts, with rubber like consistency develop and cause airway obstruction. These casts build up and eventually break off and they are hard so he has to cough them out. Coughing these casts out is very difficult for him and is strenuous on his heart. Many medicines were tried but none helped, except one. It is an inhaler that he uses every four hours and reduces the build up of the casts.

The medication costs $24,000 a month.

He’s a vet. He’s in his 50’s. He’s soft spoken, doesn’t like to smile because he’s missing some teeth. He is a proud man. He has been living on the streets for almost a year. He finally agreed to meet with someone at the Denver House to discuss housing. He has nightmares. He served in the military, but he has never said when or for how long. He has medals but he won’t talk about the war. He’s alone. He refuses to make friends because he doesn’t want another one to die. He won’t go to the VA because, “There are many guys out there needing help more than me, I’ll make it.” After a long time he agreed to apply for disability. He disappears in thought often. When he “comes back” he is sad and full of guilt.

He struggles to make it through another day, but it is so tough because he can’t stop remembering.

He worked his whole life. He was a paint and body man. He paid his bills and when his mother-in-law gave him some land, they built a house. The kids remember vacations to California, camping trips to Keystone lake, TU football games, birthday parties and gifts beneath the Christmas tree every year.  When he could have retired, he continued to work as an estimator traveling all over Oklahoma. His dementia continued to get worse. He loved piddling in his yard, planting tomatoes and mowing the grass, burning trash. Then one day he fell and dislocated his shoulder. After ER visits and doctor visits he continued to decompensate. The family worked quickly to find a nursing home.

His life was forever changed.

On Medicaid the five year old received his medication each month. On Medicaid the Veteran received mental health services and medication. On Medicaid this hard working man moved into a nursing home.

I find it ironic that those who are vehemently against programs that help the poor and call those on Medicaid “lazy” are the same people who are too lazy to seek the truth.  It’s called generational prejudice, accepting what someone says as fact when instead it is a lie, and it is crushing the people of our state who are suffering. Maybe even someone you know.

Medicaid, Sooner Care in Oklahoma, covers low-income Oklahomans who otherwise go uninsured. “The majority of people covered by Medicaid are predominately children; the elderly and persons with disabilities. To qualify for Medicaid the individual must be both low-income and eligible to qualify by fitting into one of these categories: children, seniors and disabled adults, pregnant women and very low-income parents with dependent children.  Most healthy working-age adults in Oklahoma do not qualify for Medicaid. Oklahoma has the 45^th lowest median income in the country for families with children and a quarter of the state’s children live in poverty.” *

We closed facilities that cared for adults with special needs that were too severe for their families to manage. We closed most of the psychiatric hospitals without putting services in place to care for those who had no family to take them in. The “institutions” were shut down before the community based services were established and funded. As time goes on these programs have never been fully funded and our neighbors, friends and family are falling through the cracks.

There are folks I see who are too mentally ill to recognize they need to stay on their medication. I see folks who have uncontrolled diabetes and cognitive deficits and no support system; they cannot manage the responsibility of taking care of their health much less managing a household even if they were placed in housing. The support services they need are being cut and there weren’t enough services to begin with.

There are individuals who are ready to go in for rehab for substance and alcohol abuse and can’t get in due to waiting lists that are weeks or months long. I see a couple of people who go to the Tulsa Center for Behavioral Health or the Crisis Center over and over again. Sometimes they are stabilized temporarily and discharged only to go back to the streets and the same environment that set them into crisis to begin with.

There are so many gaps in the system and with continued funding cuts, the gaps will get wider and every one of us will be touched personally by someone struggling with substance abuse, mental illness, someone who is suicidal, child abuse, elder abuse, homelessness, Alzheimer’s disease or a need for a nursing home. If you think I’m wrong, I can tell you that when you or your family member are blindsided by crisis, there won’t be services for you or your loved one. We cannot continue to live in denial and think if we ignore it, all of “that” will go away.

“That” is growing and getting worse and the needs are deep and complicated. Churches that pay someone’s electric bill or giving a bag of groceries isn’t even close to meeting the needs of our generational poor, our working poor and our middle class. The Iron Gate is the only agency that provides a hot meal every day of the year; they need the opportunity to expand.  The needs are growing not lessening, especially during the summer when kids are out of school.

Schools. We will not grow our economy with new business once potential businesses see how our state disregards our teachers and our students. It is truly shameful. How disheartening it is to see Tulsa’s philanthropists and foundations spending millions upon millions for a park when our working population, social services agencies and poor people are starving from neglect.

If the funding cuts that are looming over the Medicaid program go into effect, hospitals, nursing homes, mental health clinics will shut down. Which means all of those folks will go somewhere to look for help…and they’ll come to Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Bartlesville, etc. We can’t meet the needs we have now in Tulsa, much less when the refugees in rural areas begin arriving here seeking services.

I am so mortified by the hatred and blatant disrespect I see between political parties. I’m going to say it. In Oklahoma, we haven’t expanded Medicaid or even attempted to make the Affordable Care Act work because both programs came from a black President who is also a Democrat.

Really? We are so filled with stubborn pride and hatred that being against something irrationally is more important than the lives of our friends, family and neighbors. I am so heartbroken that no one has said, “I’m sorry. I was wrong. I will listen. I will compromise. I care.” Discourse is not possible because of an “us” against “them” attitude.  Leaders your stonewalling is creating a humanitarian crisis.

Why do we have to wait for tragedy to strike before we take action? Why can’t we be proactive to ensure that we have the services available and put prevention services in place? Why can’t people in power work together for the people of this state? Where is your sense of urgency? Where is your compassion? Where is your Christianity?

Please don’t remain in ignorant silence because the social issues are just too hard to face. Please take the time to write your Congressman, Senator, the Governor and ask them to support the Medicaid Rebalancing Act of 2020 and to support the Tobacco Tax. Take the time to learn more about these social issues before a crisis hits your family.

What more can be done?

We need step down services for the chronically mentally ill after they are discharged from a psychiatric facility. We need more sober living homes for those who make it through rehab and need a safe place to get their bearings back without going back to the same environment that set them into crisis to begin with.

There are seniors living alone all over our city. They are going without enough food, medication and socialization because they are not reaching out for help, either because they don’t know who to contact or they aren’t completely aware of how dire their situation is.

Child abuse is escalating in Oklahoma. If our children lose their Sooner Care, they won’t see a doctor for Well Child Checks, they won’t go in for immunizations and without the safety net of seeing a provider then we’re going to lose more children because no one will know they’re being abused. Special needs kids and disabled adults who require 24/7 caregiving by family and agencies, will suffer because those support systems will be cut and there will be no respite for the caregivers.

The Day Center is the only infirmary where homeless folks can go to recover after being hospitalized. Folks without insurance who need physical or occupational therapy or assistive devices or oxygen can’t get the help they need so they can’t heal properly. Many of these folks were working, contributing members of society until they were injured but without services they won’t be able to go back to work.

We need housing for folks who don’t qualify for other housing programs. We need day care that’s affordable for working moms and dads who don’t qualify for a DHS day care voucher. We need transportation for seniors to get to doctors’ appointments and for people who are working the night shift and don’t have a car. The city buses don’t run all night or on Sundays. We need to provide meals at times when there are no meals being served. We need to work with management of subsidized housing complexes to provide activities, classes and benevolence by caring enough to go into the complexes and getting to know the residents.

How can we afford to put all of these services in place?

Churches.

Churches will have multi-million dollar capital campaigns for more buildings to ensure the saved have a comfortable place to go to church with their kids. But where are the capital campaigns for people? To fill service gaps. To aid local non-profits who have to cut programs due to lack of funding.

“Did you know that Christians, in the name of Christ, have founded the majority of hospitals in the world? And that the church is still the largest single provider of health care in most of the world’s poorest places? And that the church leads the world in offering free health care to the terminally ill?...Churches founded 128 of the first 138 universities in America…programs for the poor and marginalized, such as free schooling for poor children, the world’s largest orphanage systems, and debt relief for the poor.” ** We need churches to get out of their pews and into the neighborhoods that surround them. We need churches to once again step forward and make a significant impact right here in our state.

What if a church did a capital campaign for buses? Buses that can take a senior to the grocery store or take a working mom to work or a student to school. Buses that pick up working folks from the night shift.

What if a church did a capital campaign for local sober living ministries so they can expand and care for more people? What if churches opened their kitchens and served a meal a week that was open to everyone, no charge. If you want to know the needs of the people in and around your church…just share a meal with them.

What if churches established medical benevolence ministries? Paying for Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy for folks without insurance. Paying for medicine. Paying for doctor’s appointments, paying for oxygen, providing bedside commodes and hospital beds. Isaiah 58, In His service is doing what we can to be a ministry “gap filler” by helping with some of these needs.

What if churches partnered with Aim High Academy, Crisis Pregnancy Outreach, The Day Center, Indian Health Care Resource Center, Iron Gate, Life Senior Services, The Little Light House, Manna House, Mental Health Association, TARC and even DHS and had capital campaigns that helped sustain these agencies and helped them grow to help the enormous numbers of people in need and walked with them for the long term, to ensure financial stability? I named just a few there are so many amazing agencies in our community that are ready and waiting to partner with a church for the long haul.

What if churches hired a licensed and degreed Social Worker? A Social Worker can triage the folks in need who show up at our churches. With a network in place and capital campaigns providing services that fill the gaps, think of how many folks we could love on? Social Workers would meet with Social Workers at other churches and non-profits so all of the services available would be known by all. That way we would have less duplication of services and when we recognize another gap, then we get another church involved.

Wouldn’t it be great if we worked together for the better of our community? We remember what compassion is and empathy and we listen and respond with a heart’s desire to meet needs and improve lives. By doing so, we can learn to work together again, and recognize we are more alike than we are different and we will regain our humanity of doing unto others as we would want others to do unto us.

Oh, the man I mentioned earlier? The one who had to be put into a nursing home?

That was my Dad.

He worked his whole life to provide for his family. He and my Mom would go without so we kids could get stuff we really didn’t need. I remember really wanting a mini-bike because my friend across the street had one. They made sure I got one. For many years, on July 4th we would celebrate in our back yard. Relatives and friends would come over for ribs or steak or chicken that my Dad would grill; fresh corn on the cob, watermelon, homemade ice cream and of course a big fireworks show at the end of the night.

My Mom and Dad didn’t save a whole lot because they never made a whole lot. But, they voted and paid their taxes and my Dad was an incredibly generous man. He gave to many non-profits that we never knew about until he could no longer open and read his mail. My Dad lazy? Absolutely not.

When we had to put Dad into a memory care nursing home, my Mom paid out of pocket until he qualified for Medicaid. It was such a difficult time for my family.

What happened to my Dad could happen to your Mom or your Dad too.

If there was no Medicaid available we would have spent all of my parent’s savings in less than a year. My sisters and I could not afford $4,500 month to keep him in there. We needed hope.

That hope was Medicaid.

In His service,

deni A. fholer, LMSW, CCFP

executive director/president
Isaiah 58, In His service, Inc.
PO Box 521063
Tulsa OK 74152
918-260-1933
I58ihs@gmail.com
www.i58ihs.blogspot.com
501©3 nonprofit ministry
                              We can do more. We can do better.
*Medicaid 101: The Sooner Care safety Net, OK Policy.org, Oklahoma Policy Institute
**God for the Rest of Us by Vince Antonucci
To learn more go to: http://okpolicy.org/files/Medicaid%20101%20SoonerCare%20Safety%20Net.pdf?b0f37e
To guide you in encouraging your church to start a capital campaign read:
Barefoot Church by Brandon Hatmaker
May 03, 2016

Poor Bobby

Bobby is 11 until Tuesday when he’ll turn 12. Bobby lives with his mother most of the time. She’s a drug addict and she forgets about him when she’s high. Bobby’s home has been the floor of one his Mom’s boyfriends, until a number of months ago. They finally got an apartment. It’s $25/month plus electric. They are getting food stamps but his Mom doesn’t work so they get like $44/month.  After 3 months the electric has already been shut off and it’s winter. It gets really cold at night. Bobby grabs all of the dirty clothes and piles them on top of him to use for blankets because they don’t have any. The apartment has roaches and spiders and there’s always trash on the floor; there’s no trashcans and no cleaning supplies in the house. They can’t afford to buy them and he doesn’t know what cleaning the house is because his Mom doesn’t know.

Bobby isn’t sure who his father is. There’s this guy who comes around once in awhile and calls him “sonny boy,” but he’s not sure. The guy also punches him in the shoulder when he sees Bobby and tells him, “Gots to be the MAN of the house…” and then he laughs and hits him again. The guy gives Bobby’s Mom drugs. A church gave them some furniture but the beds had bed bugs so Bobby had to drag them out to the dumpster…and he’s back to sleeping on the floor.

His Mom sometimes gets him up for school. When he goes, he hates it. He’s been labeled a “problem child” since he was 7 when he was molested and started acting out at school. No one ever asked him why he was acting out or sitting in the bathroom crying during recess. Somewhere along the line he realized he’s alone so he’s gotten tougher. He pushed a little kid the other day so he could get the message out to leave him alone. He also got suspended again.

He was given some comic books and he likes to look through them but he can’t pronounce or understand some of the words. He says the words are blurry sometimes, but his Mom can’t keep his Sooner Care active so he doesn’t go to the doctor. He has a cold and his nose runs so he sucks snot and wipes it on his shirt because they don’t have paper towels, toilet paper or tissues in the house.

Most of the time he starts his day in the same clothes he’s worn all week. They never have quarters and the closest laundry is 2 miles away and they don’t have a car and can’t afford bus tokens. The grocery store is about as far away. Bobby spends most of the time hungry.  He goes to the nearest convenience store and steals chips and sodas; so far he hasn’t been caught.

He walks a lot but there are places he stays away from. He watches the gangs from a distance and part of him is starving for love and affection and he wonders if joining a gang would help. But, one of their initiations is raping girls. His Mom was raped once while he was in the bathroom. A drug dealer broke in and raped her because she didn’t pay him. Bobby tried to take care of her, but she told him to get the “f*** away.”

Bobby has a couple of friends who are just like him. One of his buddy’s Moms is an alcoholic and another lives with his Grandma who is “crazy.” They like hanging around the Grandma because she talks to people who aren’t there. They laugh at her. Sometimes all the grown up’s in their lives are messed up at the same time so they stay in a cubby hole outside the community center, which is closed up and not used anymore. They hear gunshots and couples yelling and cussing each other. They see drug deals and watch toddlers walking around in a diaper at 3 in the morning. They watch and when the drunken old man stumbles out of his apartment to yell at someone, they sneak in and hide his bottle. This is their entertainment.

Bobby had his 12^th birthday and no one noticed. There was no cake or ice cream, no gifts, no underwear from Grandma, nothing. He kept crying off and on all day and he tried to stop but he couldn’t. He sees kids at school with new Nikes and IPhones and they talk about their X-box and Ripstick and he gets mad. His Mom got a big TV after she got her income taxes one year, but they pawned it after a month for her drugs and to pay rent.

If no one intervenes and loves on Bobby he’ll start having sex soon and probably get a girl pregnant. He’s likely to join the gang because he’ll drop out of school and need money. His heart will continue to grow harder because he has to do what is needed to survive. Eventually he’ll steal a car and get involved with juvy and once he has a criminal record, a kid he can’t take care of and the start of a drug habit…another generation of “the Bobby’s out there” starts all over again.

Every Sunday and most Wednesday evening’s variations of kids with Bobby’s story go to church. We’ve been taking them for over a year. During each trip in the van from the apartment complex to church, we’re praying for these kids. Praying for their salvation, for their safety, that people will be nice to them, that they’ll make friends, that they will learn about Jesus, that no one will say something to embarrass them, that they get why they’re going to church…that Jesus loves each one of them, individually, enough to die for them, that Jesus will be real to them.

Over the course of the year we have had folks ask how we could bring the kids to church in flip flops when it’s cold outside or why they’re not wearing coats. They want to know why they make such a mess when they eat dinner on Wednesday night. They want to know why we don’t keep them quiet and teach them to behave; they run in church and climb on the building.  We’ve been asked why the kids come to church dirty and smelly.

One man asked why we bring drug addicts to church. When we figured out who he was talking about, he was told the young man only has part of his brain so he’s slow in speech and processing. His reply was, “Oh. Well how am I supposed to know that?” 

He’s right, how is he supposed to know that? Middle class people have no idea how hard it is for poor kids and families because we rarely if ever socialize with them. We read the rhetoric in the news and we establish assumptions about poor people that are often very wrong.  In fact, we often become indignant and tell them to get their lives together, go to work and do what’s right. We judge them with gusto. We also tend to forget they don’t know Jesus and they don’t have a support system or the resources we do, but we sure do expect a lot from them.

We also tell poor people to forget the past; it has no effect on their future. When Bobby was molested, he remembers every moment of the nightmare. He remembers the smells, the sounds and the man’s voice. He’s never been seen by a counselor so he hasn’t learned coping skills, life skills, problem solving skills and he doesn’t know what to do when he smells the same after shave the man was wearing two years later. All he knows is that all of those disgusting memories come crashing into his mind and he has to do something so he yells or he breaks something or he runs until he falls to the ground sobbing. He doesn’t talk to anyone because no one cares.

Many of these kids don’t know Jesus and the few that do, don’t see Him in their homes, or the neighborhoods, or in their neighbors and they don’t have anyone teaching them life through the lens of the Bible. They are lost and learning life skills from the lost.

We don’t want to know the gory truth about Bobby’s life because we don’t want to believe horrible things happen to kids. We don’t want God to give us a burden to step into that gutter and love these kids unconditionally and make them a part of our lives. That’s too difficult and messy and it’s too painful. The kids will screw up or Heaven forbid we do get involved and they won’t turn out “right.”  People tell us to make the kids “more normal” and presentable because the way they look and how they act make US too uncomfortable.

Isaiah 58, In His service is trying to give the kids some hope and let them experience things that they could not afford to do. We are trying to show them life without crisis. We try to give them birthdays with cake and gifts and candles. We try to keep the heat on and the water running and groceries in their fridge. We try to make sure they aren’t sleeping on the floor. We take them to church praying they’ll meet Jesus…

But, it’s not enough. We’ve been asked what church goers can do to make a difference in these kid’s lives.

Talk to them. They need stable, caring adults to be interested in their lives. They will be bluntly honest about the horrors of their lives but they still have dreams for their future and they want to believe they could come true. They need to hear praise and encouragement. They need to know what real love looks like.

Talk to your kids. As far as we know none of our kids have been invited to a “rich kid’s house.”  They haven’t made many friends in church. They think some of the “rich kids” are mean and don’t like them. Teach your kids how to love on poor kids. Learn about poverty so you can teach your kids what poverty really is. Teach your kids to reach out and get to know our kids.

Invite them out. Get to know the kids, especially if you have a child the age of one of our kids. The best way to teach is to mirror the behaviors. Let them see how you eat a meal; praying before eating, asking someone to pass the pepper, please and thank you. Take them to your home. Show them how you live. Give them an experience they’ve never had before. We took some kids to a concert at the BOK and they’d never been to a concert before. Wide eyes and lots of WOWS. It was really cool. A new experience opens the door to possibilities.

Volunteer. We often make 2 or more trips to church on Sunday. Offer to go pick some of the kids up. We pay for them to eat on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights at church because we want to make sure they have something to eat. When you drop them off, sit with them, eat a donut and listen to their stories. Ask them to sit with you in church. Mirror Godly behavior in God’s house.

Pray.  Before and after you talk with them, learn their names and a little about their lives and pray for them by name. Ask the Father to bring workers to the harvest. Pray for the end to generational poverty. Pray that God will use you.

Be willing to learn. We had our first LOVE GOES - Faith Based Social Services Conference last year. We had professionals talk about the tough stuff: Mental Illness, Homelessness, Substance Abuse, Foster Care, Suicide, Domestic Violence. We talked about the role of the church and how our churches need to take an active role in helping our non-profits meet more needs. We have tons of gaps that our churches could fill. We asked churches to do capital campaigns for people instead of buildings.

Watch all of the speaker's videos at www.FBCJENKS.ORG/LOVEGOES. Learning more about these topics can take away the fear of the unknown and once the fear disappears, you’ll be nudged into action and you’ll be more willing to go because you’ll have a better understanding. Knowledge builds bridges, ignorance builds walls.

Learn more. If you truly want to make a difference, a restorative difference, talk with deni. Isaiah 58, In His service has professionals ready to teach. If you really want to learn about poverty, mental illness, homelessness so that you can beseech the Father to take you to where He’s working, we can help get you prepared. Just remember, we all have been or will be touched by mental illness, substance abuse, domestic violence, etc. It is better to be prepared than to react in crisis.

Take action. A couple friends of mine, Pastor Cody and Breanna Brumley are in the process of adopting a child. “We are adopting an infant through private domestic adoption which is why it’s expensive ($25,000 to $50,000). We prayed through both (private adoption and DHS) and our thought was, why not catch the baby before DHS? Why not love on the momma too? In our case we are given the info for a birth mom and her history (drug abuse, physical abuse, imprisonment, poverty, etc.) We pay for their clothing, housing, bills, before the baby is born.  If they are on drugs, some of the cost is to help them get sober. If there are mental health issues, the money pays for a counselor.  For some women they are trying to get GED’s. That is a big part of the cost. In most cases we will meet this mother before the birth and possibly keep a relationship afterwards. We want the mom to know she has value too! Adoption through DHS is free, and a great need is there. We just felt called to this route to bring the baby home from day one and hopefully share the gospel with the birth mom and family too!”

They have a blog that details each step of their journey. Go to: http://babybrumley3.blogspot.com.  Learn about the adoption process and pray for them. Better yet, if God so nudges, support them in their obedience to the Father. They have an Adopt Together fundraising page...https://www.adopttogether.org/thebrumleys

Know that you are prayed for. God can change the world one child at a time. Are you willing to walk as Jesus did?

In His service, deni

We can do more. We can do better.

When was the last time you studied Luke 10? “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind…and Love your neighbor as yourself…the parable of the Good Samaritan… Martha, Martha you are worried about many things…Mary has chosen the better way… “

“Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did.” 1^st John 1:6