Medicaid and Churches

He’s five years old. He has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome with Plastic Bronchitis. He was born with this condition and has endured many surgeries and hospitalizations.

There is no cure.

Plastic bronchitis is a condition in which bronchial casts, with rubber like consistency develop and cause airway obstruction. These casts build up and eventually break off and they are hard so he has to cough them out. Coughing these casts out is very difficult for him and is strenuous on his heart. Many medicines were tried but none helped, except one. It is an inhaler that he uses every four hours and reduces the build up of the casts.

The medication costs $24,000 a month.

He’s a vet. He’s in his 50’s. He’s soft spoken, doesn’t like to smile because he’s missing some teeth. He is a proud man. He has been living on the streets for almost a year. He finally agreed to meet with someone at the Denver House to discuss housing. He has nightmares. He served in the military, but he has never said when or for how long. He has medals but he won’t talk about the war. He’s alone. He refuses to make friends because he doesn’t want another one to die. He won’t go to the VA because, “There are many guys out there needing help more than me, I’ll make it.” After a long time he agreed to apply for disability. He disappears in thought often. When he “comes back” he is sad and full of guilt.

He struggles to make it through another day, but it is so tough because he can’t stop remembering.

He worked his whole life. He was a paint and body man. He paid his bills and when his mother-in-law gave him some land, they built a house. The kids remember vacations to California, camping trips to Keystone lake, TU football games, birthday parties and gifts beneath the Christmas tree every year.  When he could have retired, he continued to work as an estimator traveling all over Oklahoma. His dementia continued to get worse. He loved piddling in his yard, planting tomatoes and mowing the grass, burning trash. Then one day he fell and dislocated his shoulder. After ER visits and doctor visits he continued to decompensate. The family worked quickly to find a nursing home.

His life was forever changed.

On Medicaid the five year old received his medication each month. On Medicaid the Veteran received mental health services and medication. On Medicaid this hard working man moved into a nursing home.

I find it ironic that those who are vehemently against programs that help the poor and call those on Medicaid “lazy” are the same people who are too lazy to seek the truth.  It’s called generational prejudice, accepting what someone says as fact when instead it is a lie, and it is crushing the people of our state who are suffering. Maybe even someone you know.

Medicaid, Sooner Care in Oklahoma, covers low-income Oklahomans who otherwise go uninsured. “The majority of people covered by Medicaid are predominately children; the elderly and persons with disabilities. To qualify for Medicaid the individual must be both low-income and eligible to qualify by fitting into one of these categories: children, seniors and disabled adults, pregnant women and very low-income parents with dependent children.  Most healthy working-age adults in Oklahoma do not qualify for Medicaid. Oklahoma has the 45^th lowest median income in the country for families with children and a quarter of the state’s children live in poverty.” *

We closed facilities that cared for adults with special needs that were too severe for their families to manage. We closed most of the psychiatric hospitals without putting services in place to care for those who had no family to take them in. The “institutions” were shut down before the community based services were established and funded. As time goes on these programs have never been fully funded and our neighbors, friends and family are falling through the cracks.

There are folks I see who are too mentally ill to recognize they need to stay on their medication. I see folks who have uncontrolled diabetes and cognitive deficits and no support system; they cannot manage the responsibility of taking care of their health much less managing a household even if they were placed in housing. The support services they need are being cut and there weren’t enough services to begin with.

There are individuals who are ready to go in for rehab for substance and alcohol abuse and can’t get in due to waiting lists that are weeks or months long. I see a couple of people who go to the Tulsa Center for Behavioral Health or the Crisis Center over and over again. Sometimes they are stabilized temporarily and discharged only to go back to the streets and the same environment that set them into crisis to begin with.

There are so many gaps in the system and with continued funding cuts, the gaps will get wider and every one of us will be touched personally by someone struggling with substance abuse, mental illness, someone who is suicidal, child abuse, elder abuse, homelessness, Alzheimer’s disease or a need for a nursing home. If you think I’m wrong, I can tell you that when you or your family member are blindsided by crisis, there won’t be services for you or your loved one. We cannot continue to live in denial and think if we ignore it, all of “that” will go away.

“That” is growing and getting worse and the needs are deep and complicated. Churches that pay someone’s electric bill or giving a bag of groceries isn’t even close to meeting the needs of our generational poor, our working poor and our middle class. The Iron Gate is the only agency that provides a hot meal every day of the year; they need the opportunity to expand.  The needs are growing not lessening, especially during the summer when kids are out of school.

Schools. We will not grow our economy with new business once potential businesses see how our state disregards our teachers and our students. It is truly shameful. How disheartening it is to see Tulsa’s philanthropists and foundations spending millions upon millions for a park when our working population, social services agencies and poor people are starving from neglect.

If the funding cuts that are looming over the Medicaid program go into effect, hospitals, nursing homes, mental health clinics will shut down. Which means all of those folks will go somewhere to look for help…and they’ll come to Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Bartlesville, etc. We can’t meet the needs we have now in Tulsa, much less when the refugees in rural areas begin arriving here seeking services.

I am so mortified by the hatred and blatant disrespect I see between political parties. I’m going to say it. In Oklahoma, we haven’t expanded Medicaid or even attempted to make the Affordable Care Act work because both programs came from a black President who is also a Democrat.

Really? We are so filled with stubborn pride and hatred that being against something irrationally is more important than the lives of our friends, family and neighbors. I am so heartbroken that no one has said, “I’m sorry. I was wrong. I will listen. I will compromise. I care.” Discourse is not possible because of an “us” against “them” attitude.  Leaders your stonewalling is creating a humanitarian crisis.

Why do we have to wait for tragedy to strike before we take action? Why can’t we be proactive to ensure that we have the services available and put prevention services in place? Why can’t people in power work together for the people of this state? Where is your sense of urgency? Where is your compassion? Where is your Christianity?

Please don’t remain in ignorant silence because the social issues are just too hard to face. Please take the time to write your Congressman, Senator, the Governor and ask them to support the Medicaid Rebalancing Act of 2020 and to support the Tobacco Tax. Take the time to learn more about these social issues before a crisis hits your family.

What more can be done?

We need step down services for the chronically mentally ill after they are discharged from a psychiatric facility. We need more sober living homes for those who make it through rehab and need a safe place to get their bearings back without going back to the same environment that set them into crisis to begin with.

There are seniors living alone all over our city. They are going without enough food, medication and socialization because they are not reaching out for help, either because they don’t know who to contact or they aren’t completely aware of how dire their situation is.

Child abuse is escalating in Oklahoma. If our children lose their Sooner Care, they won’t see a doctor for Well Child Checks, they won’t go in for immunizations and without the safety net of seeing a provider then we’re going to lose more children because no one will know they’re being abused. Special needs kids and disabled adults who require 24/7 caregiving by family and agencies, will suffer because those support systems will be cut and there will be no respite for the caregivers.

The Day Center is the only infirmary where homeless folks can go to recover after being hospitalized. Folks without insurance who need physical or occupational therapy or assistive devices or oxygen can’t get the help they need so they can’t heal properly. Many of these folks were working, contributing members of society until they were injured but without services they won’t be able to go back to work.

We need housing for folks who don’t qualify for other housing programs. We need day care that’s affordable for working moms and dads who don’t qualify for a DHS day care voucher. We need transportation for seniors to get to doctors’ appointments and for people who are working the night shift and don’t have a car. The city buses don’t run all night or on Sundays. We need to provide meals at times when there are no meals being served. We need to work with management of subsidized housing complexes to provide activities, classes and benevolence by caring enough to go into the complexes and getting to know the residents.

How can we afford to put all of these services in place?

Churches.

Churches will have multi-million dollar capital campaigns for more buildings to ensure the saved have a comfortable place to go to church with their kids. But where are the capital campaigns for people? To fill service gaps. To aid local non-profits who have to cut programs due to lack of funding.

“Did you know that Christians, in the name of Christ, have founded the majority of hospitals in the world? And that the church is still the largest single provider of health care in most of the world’s poorest places? And that the church leads the world in offering free health care to the terminally ill?...Churches founded 128 of the first 138 universities in America…programs for the poor and marginalized, such as free schooling for poor children, the world’s largest orphanage systems, and debt relief for the poor.” ** We need churches to get out of their pews and into the neighborhoods that surround them. We need churches to once again step forward and make a significant impact right here in our state.

What if a church did a capital campaign for buses? Buses that can take a senior to the grocery store or take a working mom to work or a student to school. Buses that pick up working folks from the night shift.

What if a church did a capital campaign for local sober living ministries so they can expand and care for more people? What if churches opened their kitchens and served a meal a week that was open to everyone, no charge. If you want to know the needs of the people in and around your church…just share a meal with them.

What if churches established medical benevolence ministries? Paying for Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy for folks without insurance. Paying for medicine. Paying for doctor’s appointments, paying for oxygen, providing bedside commodes and hospital beds. Isaiah 58, In His service is doing what we can to be a ministry “gap filler” by helping with some of these needs.

What if churches partnered with Aim High Academy, Crisis Pregnancy Outreach, The Day Center, Indian Health Care Resource Center, Iron Gate, Life Senior Services, The Little Light House, Manna House, Mental Health Association, TARC and even DHS and had capital campaigns that helped sustain these agencies and helped them grow to help the enormous numbers of people in need and walked with them for the long term, to ensure financial stability? I named just a few there are so many amazing agencies in our community that are ready and waiting to partner with a church for the long haul.

What if churches hired a licensed and degreed Social Worker? A Social Worker can triage the folks in need who show up at our churches. With a network in place and capital campaigns providing services that fill the gaps, think of how many folks we could love on? Social Workers would meet with Social Workers at other churches and non-profits so all of the services available would be known by all. That way we would have less duplication of services and when we recognize another gap, then we get another church involved.

Wouldn’t it be great if we worked together for the better of our community? We remember what compassion is and empathy and we listen and respond with a heart’s desire to meet needs and improve lives. By doing so, we can learn to work together again, and recognize we are more alike than we are different and we will regain our humanity of doing unto others as we would want others to do unto us.

Oh, the man I mentioned earlier? The one who had to be put into a nursing home?

That was my Dad.

He worked his whole life to provide for his family. He and my Mom would go without so we kids could get stuff we really didn’t need. I remember really wanting a mini-bike because my friend across the street had one. They made sure I got one. For many years, on July 4th we would celebrate in our back yard. Relatives and friends would come over for ribs or steak or chicken that my Dad would grill; fresh corn on the cob, watermelon, homemade ice cream and of course a big fireworks show at the end of the night.

My Mom and Dad didn’t save a whole lot because they never made a whole lot. But, they voted and paid their taxes and my Dad was an incredibly generous man. He gave to many non-profits that we never knew about until he could no longer open and read his mail. My Dad lazy? Absolutely not.

When we had to put Dad into a memory care nursing home, my Mom paid out of pocket until he qualified for Medicaid. It was such a difficult time for my family.

What happened to my Dad could happen to your Mom or your Dad too.

If there was no Medicaid available we would have spent all of my parent’s savings in less than a year. My sisters and I could not afford $4,500 month to keep him in there. We needed hope.

That hope was Medicaid.

In His service,

deni A. fholer, LMSW, CCFP

executive director/president
Isaiah 58, In His service, Inc.
PO Box 521063
Tulsa OK 74152
918-260-1933
I58ihs@gmail.com
www.i58ihs.blogspot.com
501©3 nonprofit ministry
                              We can do more. We can do better.
*Medicaid 101: The Sooner Care safety Net, OK Policy.org, Oklahoma Policy Institute
**God for the Rest of Us by Vince Antonucci
To learn more go to: http://okpolicy.org/files/Medicaid%20101%20SoonerCare%20Safety%20Net.pdf?b0f37e
To guide you in encouraging your church to start a capital campaign read:
Barefoot Church by Brandon Hatmaker
May 03, 2016

Poor Bobby

Bobby is 11 until Tuesday when he’ll turn 12. Bobby lives with his mother most of the time. She’s a drug addict and she forgets about him when she’s high. Bobby’s home has been the floor of one his Mom’s boyfriends, until a number of months ago. They finally got an apartment. It’s $25/month plus electric. They are getting food stamps but his Mom doesn’t work so they get like $44/month.  After 3 months the electric has already been shut off and it’s winter. It gets really cold at night. Bobby grabs all of the dirty clothes and piles them on top of him to use for blankets because they don’t have any. The apartment has roaches and spiders and there’s always trash on the floor; there’s no trashcans and no cleaning supplies in the house. They can’t afford to buy them and he doesn’t know what cleaning the house is because his Mom doesn’t know.

Bobby isn’t sure who his father is. There’s this guy who comes around once in awhile and calls him “sonny boy,” but he’s not sure. The guy also punches him in the shoulder when he sees Bobby and tells him, “Gots to be the MAN of the house…” and then he laughs and hits him again. The guy gives Bobby’s Mom drugs. A church gave them some furniture but the beds had bed bugs so Bobby had to drag them out to the dumpster…and he’s back to sleeping on the floor.

His Mom sometimes gets him up for school. When he goes, he hates it. He’s been labeled a “problem child” since he was 7 when he was molested and started acting out at school. No one ever asked him why he was acting out or sitting in the bathroom crying during recess. Somewhere along the line he realized he’s alone so he’s gotten tougher. He pushed a little kid the other day so he could get the message out to leave him alone. He also got suspended again.

He was given some comic books and he likes to look through them but he can’t pronounce or understand some of the words. He says the words are blurry sometimes, but his Mom can’t keep his Sooner Care active so he doesn’t go to the doctor. He has a cold and his nose runs so he sucks snot and wipes it on his shirt because they don’t have paper towels, toilet paper or tissues in the house.

Most of the time he starts his day in the same clothes he’s worn all week. They never have quarters and the closest laundry is 2 miles away and they don’t have a car and can’t afford bus tokens. The grocery store is about as far away. Bobby spends most of the time hungry.  He goes to the nearest convenience store and steals chips and sodas; so far he hasn’t been caught.

He walks a lot but there are places he stays away from. He watches the gangs from a distance and part of him is starving for love and affection and he wonders if joining a gang would help. But, one of their initiations is raping girls. His Mom was raped once while he was in the bathroom. A drug dealer broke in and raped her because she didn’t pay him. Bobby tried to take care of her, but she told him to get the “f*** away.”

Bobby has a couple of friends who are just like him. One of his buddy’s Moms is an alcoholic and another lives with his Grandma who is “crazy.” They like hanging around the Grandma because she talks to people who aren’t there. They laugh at her. Sometimes all the grown up’s in their lives are messed up at the same time so they stay in a cubby hole outside the community center, which is closed up and not used anymore. They hear gunshots and couples yelling and cussing each other. They see drug deals and watch toddlers walking around in a diaper at 3 in the morning. They watch and when the drunken old man stumbles out of his apartment to yell at someone, they sneak in and hide his bottle. This is their entertainment.

Bobby had his 12^th birthday and no one noticed. There was no cake or ice cream, no gifts, no underwear from Grandma, nothing. He kept crying off and on all day and he tried to stop but he couldn’t. He sees kids at school with new Nikes and IPhones and they talk about their X-box and Ripstick and he gets mad. His Mom got a big TV after she got her income taxes one year, but they pawned it after a month for her drugs and to pay rent.

If no one intervenes and loves on Bobby he’ll start having sex soon and probably get a girl pregnant. He’s likely to join the gang because he’ll drop out of school and need money. His heart will continue to grow harder because he has to do what is needed to survive. Eventually he’ll steal a car and get involved with juvy and once he has a criminal record, a kid he can’t take care of and the start of a drug habit…another generation of “the Bobby’s out there” starts all over again.

Every Sunday and most Wednesday evening’s variations of kids with Bobby’s story go to church. We’ve been taking them for over a year. During each trip in the van from the apartment complex to church, we’re praying for these kids. Praying for their salvation, for their safety, that people will be nice to them, that they’ll make friends, that they will learn about Jesus, that no one will say something to embarrass them, that they get why they’re going to church…that Jesus loves each one of them, individually, enough to die for them, that Jesus will be real to them.

Over the course of the year we have had folks ask how we could bring the kids to church in flip flops when it’s cold outside or why they’re not wearing coats. They want to know why they make such a mess when they eat dinner on Wednesday night. They want to know why we don’t keep them quiet and teach them to behave; they run in church and climb on the building.  We’ve been asked why the kids come to church dirty and smelly.

One man asked why we bring drug addicts to church. When we figured out who he was talking about, he was told the young man only has part of his brain so he’s slow in speech and processing. His reply was, “Oh. Well how am I supposed to know that?” 

He’s right, how is he supposed to know that? Middle class people have no idea how hard it is for poor kids and families because we rarely if ever socialize with them. We read the rhetoric in the news and we establish assumptions about poor people that are often very wrong.  In fact, we often become indignant and tell them to get their lives together, go to work and do what’s right. We judge them with gusto. We also tend to forget they don’t know Jesus and they don’t have a support system or the resources we do, but we sure do expect a lot from them.

We also tell poor people to forget the past; it has no effect on their future. When Bobby was molested, he remembers every moment of the nightmare. He remembers the smells, the sounds and the man’s voice. He’s never been seen by a counselor so he hasn’t learned coping skills, life skills, problem solving skills and he doesn’t know what to do when he smells the same after shave the man was wearing two years later. All he knows is that all of those disgusting memories come crashing into his mind and he has to do something so he yells or he breaks something or he runs until he falls to the ground sobbing. He doesn’t talk to anyone because no one cares.

Many of these kids don’t know Jesus and the few that do, don’t see Him in their homes, or the neighborhoods, or in their neighbors and they don’t have anyone teaching them life through the lens of the Bible. They are lost and learning life skills from the lost.

We don’t want to know the gory truth about Bobby’s life because we don’t want to believe horrible things happen to kids. We don’t want God to give us a burden to step into that gutter and love these kids unconditionally and make them a part of our lives. That’s too difficult and messy and it’s too painful. The kids will screw up or Heaven forbid we do get involved and they won’t turn out “right.”  People tell us to make the kids “more normal” and presentable because the way they look and how they act make US too uncomfortable.

Isaiah 58, In His service is trying to give the kids some hope and let them experience things that they could not afford to do. We are trying to show them life without crisis. We try to give them birthdays with cake and gifts and candles. We try to keep the heat on and the water running and groceries in their fridge. We try to make sure they aren’t sleeping on the floor. We take them to church praying they’ll meet Jesus…

But, it’s not enough. We’ve been asked what church goers can do to make a difference in these kid’s lives.

Talk to them. They need stable, caring adults to be interested in their lives. They will be bluntly honest about the horrors of their lives but they still have dreams for their future and they want to believe they could come true. They need to hear praise and encouragement. They need to know what real love looks like.

Talk to your kids. As far as we know none of our kids have been invited to a “rich kid’s house.”  They haven’t made many friends in church. They think some of the “rich kids” are mean and don’t like them. Teach your kids how to love on poor kids. Learn about poverty so you can teach your kids what poverty really is. Teach your kids to reach out and get to know our kids.

Invite them out. Get to know the kids, especially if you have a child the age of one of our kids. The best way to teach is to mirror the behaviors. Let them see how you eat a meal; praying before eating, asking someone to pass the pepper, please and thank you. Take them to your home. Show them how you live. Give them an experience they’ve never had before. We took some kids to a concert at the BOK and they’d never been to a concert before. Wide eyes and lots of WOWS. It was really cool. A new experience opens the door to possibilities.

Volunteer. We often make 2 or more trips to church on Sunday. Offer to go pick some of the kids up. We pay for them to eat on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights at church because we want to make sure they have something to eat. When you drop them off, sit with them, eat a donut and listen to their stories. Ask them to sit with you in church. Mirror Godly behavior in God’s house.

Pray.  Before and after you talk with them, learn their names and a little about their lives and pray for them by name. Ask the Father to bring workers to the harvest. Pray for the end to generational poverty. Pray that God will use you.

Be willing to learn. We had our first LOVE GOES - Faith Based Social Services Conference last year. We had professionals talk about the tough stuff: Mental Illness, Homelessness, Substance Abuse, Foster Care, Suicide, Domestic Violence. We talked about the role of the church and how our churches need to take an active role in helping our non-profits meet more needs. We have tons of gaps that our churches could fill. We asked churches to do capital campaigns for people instead of buildings.

Watch all of the speaker's videos at www.FBCJENKS.ORG/LOVEGOES. Learning more about these topics can take away the fear of the unknown and once the fear disappears, you’ll be nudged into action and you’ll be more willing to go because you’ll have a better understanding. Knowledge builds bridges, ignorance builds walls.

Learn more. If you truly want to make a difference, a restorative difference, talk with deni. Isaiah 58, In His service has professionals ready to teach. If you really want to learn about poverty, mental illness, homelessness so that you can beseech the Father to take you to where He’s working, we can help get you prepared. Just remember, we all have been or will be touched by mental illness, substance abuse, domestic violence, etc. It is better to be prepared than to react in crisis.

Take action. A couple friends of mine, Pastor Cody and Breanna Brumley are in the process of adopting a child. “We are adopting an infant through private domestic adoption which is why it’s expensive ($25,000 to $50,000). We prayed through both (private adoption and DHS) and our thought was, why not catch the baby before DHS? Why not love on the momma too? In our case we are given the info for a birth mom and her history (drug abuse, physical abuse, imprisonment, poverty, etc.) We pay for their clothing, housing, bills, before the baby is born.  If they are on drugs, some of the cost is to help them get sober. If there are mental health issues, the money pays for a counselor.  For some women they are trying to get GED’s. That is a big part of the cost. In most cases we will meet this mother before the birth and possibly keep a relationship afterwards. We want the mom to know she has value too! Adoption through DHS is free, and a great need is there. We just felt called to this route to bring the baby home from day one and hopefully share the gospel with the birth mom and family too!”

They have a blog that details each step of their journey. Go to: http://babybrumley3.blogspot.com.  Learn about the adoption process and pray for them. Better yet, if God so nudges, support them in their obedience to the Father. They have an Adopt Together fundraising page...https://www.adopttogether.org/thebrumleys

Know that you are prayed for. God can change the world one child at a time. Are you willing to walk as Jesus did?

In His service, deni

We can do more. We can do better.

When was the last time you studied Luke 10? “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind…and Love your neighbor as yourself…the parable of the Good Samaritan… Martha, Martha you are worried about many things…Mary has chosen the better way… “

“Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did.” 1^st John 1:6

 

 

 

 

 

11th Annual Holiday Helping Hands Project

“Why? Why are you helping me? I just don’t deserve any of this.” “You’re right none of us deserves anything, that’s why Jesus calls it Grace.” This was part of a conversation that took place near a Sonic by one of our donors and one of my “outside guys.”

The donor had contacted him early in the morning to set up a time and place to deliver his Christmas gifts. But, he was really drunk. He couldn’t remember much after they hung up. An attempt to meet at a grocery store was set up but he didn’t show. As the day went by he slowly sobered up. He called her numerous times and another meeting was set. She, with a heart full of love, willingly altered her plans to go love on this man. She gave him gifts and knowing he was hungry made sure he got something to eat.

He saw me the following week, dressed in his new duds. He was sober. He said, “Yeah, I haven’t had a drop in 8 days…<the donor> found me and gave me Christmas, I don’t know, it’s making me think.” “About what?” “That maybe I don’t have to stay this way…maybe I’ll get released by the doc and go back to work…maybe I can find a place to live again.”

Hope. It’s found in acts of kindness, in words of encouragement, in gifts of love; it’s found when someone reaches down and helps someone else up, over and over and over again. Hope never gives up. Hope believes someone can change.

                                                Hope is Jesus!

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf.” Hebrews 6: 19-20

 Isaiah 58, In His service loved on 34 individuals and families through our 11^th Annual Holiday Helping Hands Project.  Isaiah 58, In His service gives because we believe in the hope of Jesus and we believe that God can use the gifts given to bring glory to Himself. We also believe that healing can be helped along by being thankful. Truly thankful from the inside out!

THANK YOU to everyone who heeded God’s nudging and sent a financial gift, adopted families and delivered gifts. To those who pray without ceasing for Isaiah 58, In His service we savor your prayers as, “The prayer of the upright pleases Him.” Proverbs 15:8.

Open your heart and rest in the the sincere thankfulness from those you helped love on this Christmas…

A grandma who has been drug free for 7 years is now raising a grandchild on less than $800 a month. “I’m sorry I haven’t got back with you yet. Everything was wonderful I thank you for so much you don’t realize I got warm clothes for the winter. <Granddaughter> got clothes we got stuff for her to play with. It just was wonderful I thank you so much!! God bless you.” I saw her a few days later with her granddaughter and she began to cry. “<Granddaughter> has new glasses, she can see now, her teacher said she’s turning into a new little girl…we want to go to church with you…will you still take us?” Absolutely!

A gruff man who lost his wife during Christmas four years ago is now mourning the loss of a beloved dog. God put this man on my heart. Without notice I showed up with a Christmas bag. I’ve known him for a long time. He doesn’t give eye contact much. He loves cookies but can’t afford to buy such luxuries. Today we gave him some cookies.  We also provided a gas card so he could go to the cemetery and visit his wife. He looked at me, put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Life is never better, when someone remembers.”

A widow and vet lost her housing twice in the past few months. Her “children” are her two dogs and finding housing that she could afford and would welcome two dogs seemed impossible. But God used Isaiah 58, In His service and her life group to rally together around her. Housing was found, the dogs were spruced up, furnishings and necessities were given and she has a new beginning in a new year. “Am really excited!! I am so EXCITED about all of this!!! Thank you for EVERYTHING!” God moved mountains in 2 weeks!

A single Mom struggles to care for her two children and had to throw out furniture because of bed bugs. “deni this is a note from one of our ladies who delivered today: We took the presents to this precious Mom yesterday morning. When she looked at the back of the car and saw everything, she asked which bag was for her kids. I told her it was ALL for her and her kids. She was overwhelmed. She hugged us all and said to thank everyone.”

A senior who was abused during the holidays many years ago lives alone and can’t get the horrible memories out of her mind. “Oh, miss deni..oh my gosh…oh these are so precious, thank you so much…oh miss deni..oh this is so beautiful, my sister and I were talking about um gifts that I can listen to…thank you so much. I don’t know anything about the um gift cards, can you tell me what I’m supposed to do. I mean, what can I buy?…thank you so much…I have a coat, I haven’t had a coat in so long, thank you so much and my Bible verses I love them, I love them more than anything. Thank you so much this means so much to me. Thank you so much…”

A senior who lost her mother recently has been depressed and lives in clutter with her little dog. She takes sleeping pills so she can’t feel the grief. “Hi deni, this is <senior> and um, I ah, I looked in, under the tree instead of letting the present lay. (She giggled) And this is the best Christmas I’ve ever had in I don’t know how long…and He, God knows how I feel about Him loving me. I just needed to thank you, thank you for caring about me and <dog>. Thank you so much.”

A single Mom and her toddler live with her Dad. She hasn’t been able to find a job and the toddler’s Dad is nowhere to be found. They live in a trailer way out in the middle of nowhere. She was waiting for me. I walked inside with her and in the corner was a Charlie Brown Christmas tree, small and white with a few lights and nothing beneath it. Her little one was eager to open each package that we put beneath the tree. She said, “I got a job today! It’s a ways away but its work.” She smiled. One of the gifts we gave her was a gas card.

A Grandma who lives alone dissolved into tears because her birthday came and went and no one remembered. She lives near her children and she baby-sits her grandbabies, but no card, no phone call, no gift. The despair and expression of unworthiness was written all over her face. “My kids are ungrateful and I don’t know why I still let it bother me so.” In a big envelope we put a birthday card and some gift cards and a HOPE card that was colored by a 4^th grader from my church. A Sunday school teacher asked her kids to make HOPE cards to give to Isaiah 58, In His service so we could pass them on to folks who needed a touch of hope. The verse on the handwritten card says, ”God makes everyone new – even you. Casting all your cares on Him because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7. We sent another card and more gift cards for Christmas…I saw her yesterday from quite a few feet away. She lifted her arms ready to give a hug and hurried towards me shaking her head and crying, “You remembered, you remembered, you remembered…”

A single Mom of 4 children received a large bonus from work and she stuck it in a pocket that had a hole. She lost all of the cash, just before Christmas and before her oldest son’s birthday. She was crushed and so angry at herself she couldn’t stand herself. She reminded me of everything she was going to do with the cash and now she had resigned to get a fast cash loan…I said absolutely not. We paid her rent and gave her a gift card to buy food, a birthday gift and a cake for her son. “I almost wrecked my van when I saw what was inside!!!! WOW!!! That’s awesome. He will be happy…thank you…<later> Got everything we needed! I paid <birthday boy> phone bill as his gift, he wanted cupcakes with the dinner…he’s happy! Thank you for everything! Happy New Year!”

A little one stopped breathing and the family was bedside while she was put on life support and a drug-induced coma. My heart broke. I’ve walked with this family for a long time. I remained in close contact with the Mom and Grandma. The Grandma and a sibling came to see me. When Grandma saw me, she grabbed my neck and sobbed. She shared her heartache and I prayed for them, I cried out in pain for this family, I asked for God’s divine intervention. A number of days passed and I heard from the Grandma, “SHE OPENED HER EYES. The nurse asked <little one> to open her eyes and she did then she asked for her to squeeze her hands and she did! Shortly thereafter she vomited, then really started moving, she tried to pull her tube, ended up kicking the nurse…I think the nurse got a little more movement than she expected!”

While I was writing this I was contacted by the little one’s Mom, “They just now took the ventilator off!! She’s officially breathing on her own!!! Thank you so much for your healing thoughts and prayers!!!” PRAISE JESUS, our God of HOPE!

On Christmas Eve I called lots of people to ask them to join me for our Christmas Eve service at church…they all declined. God had something else in mind. I got to church and ended up parking on the south side of the building, which I rarely ever do. I looked over to see a person curled up in a blanket on the stoop at the church across the street. A donor had made 25 blessing bags to give away to anyone needing a blessing. I grabbed a bag and crossed the street.

She smiled when she saw me. I’ve known her for years. She’s gotten close a number of times to leaving the streets but her addiction continues to pull her back. She said she came to the church because she figured she’d be safe and didn’t want to stay with the gang she was with. “I’d rather be outside than to put up with their drinking anymore.” “It’s Christmas Eve there’s no one you can stay with?” She forgot it was Christmas Eve and she began to cry.

I helped gather all of her belongings and helped her to my car. She was freezing so I cranked the heat. We drove to a motel and once I got her into a room I went to buy some food for her. I returned and gave everything to her. She began to sob and covered her mouth with one hand and grabbed me around the neck with the other hand and I prayed for her; “Father this is not the life you have planned and purposed for your child. Give her the courage to take a dedicated step towards You…Father help us to be there for her no matter how many steps it takes…”

1 John 2:6 says, “Whoever claims to live in Him must WALK AS JESUS DID.” Thank you for walking this walk with us. The road is long and the journey continues and the needs are many. You’re needed now more than ever before in ways you could never imagine…

You are what making a difference looks like!

Our thankfulness and appreciation is whole hearted!

Know that you are prayed for…

In His service,

deni                                      We can do more. We can do better.

"We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers.  We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.” – 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3

Spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below

with tiny lights like heaven’s stars reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular please wipe away that tear

for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear

but the sound of music can’t compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you of the joy their voices bring

for it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me; I see the pain inside your heart

for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I can’t tell you of the splendor or the peace here in this place

can you just imagine Christmas with our Savior face to face?

I’ll ask Him to lift your spirit as I tell Him of your love

so then pray for one another as you lift your eyes above.

Please let your hearts be joyful and let your spirit sing

for I am spending Christmas in heaven and I’m walking with the King.

                                               - Wanda Bencke

Thankful!

Early Tuesday morning my Dad passed away in his sleep. It was the exit he would have wanted. From the moment I received the call from my sister an overwhelming sense of thankfulness began filling my heart. As I drove to the Memory Care center I kept thanking God that He took Dad the way He did.

I stayed with my Dad and talked with him. I kissed his forehead and held his hands. I remembered. I smiled. I prayed. I was present.

A few years ago our family started Memory Jars. When we had a life event we wanted to always remember we put a memento in our Memory Jar. Then each Thanksgiving morning I pull everything out and sift through the memories to be thankful.

Going through my Memory Jar this morning I found tickets to TU football games. LOTS of tickets to TU football games with my Dad. The first game we went to when I moved back to Tulsa from North Carolina; TU vs. Boise State, we lost. The last TU game we went to was TU vs. UTSA in November 2013.

I have also kept handwritten notes from my Dad. I got T-boned in a parking lot and he left a note saying, “I fix cars cheap – call me! BWF” Another one, “Thanks for the cold Pepsi! Such a large Pepsi!”

My Dad suffered from dementia, he was a paint and body man for many years. He still recognized us when we visited but couldn’t remember our names. I could be his wife, daughter or mother on any given day. He kept his sense of humor. Whenever one of the residents would rant and rave, he would look at them, shake his head and say, “She’s nuts.”

Each time I visited him before I left I asked him if I could pray for him.  He would say, “Why sure,” most of the time.  The last time I asked him if I could pray, he bowed his head and I prayed, “Father keep him safe and take him when You’re ready.” Then he clapped his hands and patted my cheek.

For the last month or so, he loved to sit in his wheelchair in front of a glass door in the TV room. The sun would be brightly shining and he would shade his eyes and watch the cars go by.

Last Saturday we were delivering turkeys to families and one family lived behind the nursing home where Dad was. As I approached I told the volunteers with me, “We’re gonna drive by a door and my Dad will be sitting there…so we need to wave!”

They didn’t believe me.

We rounded the corner and there was Dad. We waved and laughed and smiled and he saw us. Oh the joy on his face! He waved with both hands, squinted, covered his eyes, waved and smiled and bounced…I could hear his laughter in my heart. We made our delivery and they said, “You have to drive by your Dad again.” I did and my Dad was waving with gusto! So were we.

So much to be thankful for. 

I believe with every death is a new beginning. Today when you sit around your dinner table…look at everyone there and look into your heart. Does your family need forgiveness? Do you need to wrap your arms around someone and tell them that you love them? Are you taking your life for granted?

Tomorrow is not promised.

Is it time you shared your testimony to proclaim what Jesus has done in your life? Does your heart have a God shaped void in it? Now is the time for new beginnings.

I stayed by my Dad’s bedside waiting on the cremation society to come get him. Staff came in to hug my neck and I kept wondering, how do I do this? How do I lose my Dad?

Then God reminded me, each time we have an emergency at the clinic – I walk beside the person until an ambulance takes them away. He said, “Walk with him.”  So I did. I walked behind the gurney that held my Dad all the way to the hearse. It was 6:39am when I said good-bye one last time.

“Give thanks to the Lord…Glory in His holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice!” 1 Chronicles 16: 8,10

Our family will gather in the spring to take a fishing trip to remember him and spread his ashes.  We are going to honor his memory by establishing an annual event through my ministry, Isaiah 58, In His service. Maybe by providing a day of fishing to underprivileged kids, he would love that since he taught his daughters and grandsons how to fish! All memorials given to Isaiah 58, In His service  PO Box 521063  Tulsa OK 74152 will go towards this event.

In His service, deni

 

 

It's Enough

“Deni to pharmacy!!”

I get there and one of my guys is so drunk, he’s not making any sense and he’s getting hostile.

I sigh. I start to pray. I escort him out.

He falls onto the grass and he’s drooling and has something smeared all over his face. I look at him and I start to tear up. Why? Why can’t he see himself the way God does.

“Deni to the front desk.”

I get there and she’s shaking, she’s filthy and she begins to scream. I escort her to my office. She said she shot up crystal meth again yesterday and if she doesn’t get help, she’s gonna cut her wrists.

I pray, Father meet me here.

She has burned every bridge more than once. I try calling her sister and as soon as I say her name, her sister hangs up on me. I load her up in the van and take her to the crisis center for an evaluation.

“Deni to the parking lot.”

Her eye is black again and her jaw is wired shut. We walk to my office. He said he was sorry. He said he wouldn’t get drunk again. He gave her some chocolate. She believed him again. She thinks she deserves it and he’s the best she can do.

I sink in my chair and start to pray.

My phone rings.

She tells me her landlord is threatening eviction. She’s a Mom of 5 kids. She just had surgery and now her youngest son has pneumonia and she’s by his bedside in the hospital. She’s a cook and when she doesn’t work she doesn’t get paid. She is crying and she is exhausted.

I close my eyes and start to pray.

My phone vibrates. It’s a text.

She’s the primary caregiver for her Dad. His social security check got lost in the mail. Now they’re two months behind in rent. The water is shut off. Her special needs child just bit a kid at school so they suspended him. She can’t go to work because she can’t leave her son with her Dad because her Dad doesn’t remember him. She’s begging for help.

I catch my breath and begin to pray.  What am I doing wrong? Why aren’t these people getting better? No one ever listens to me. There are so many. Does anything I do really matter? I feel so alone sometimes. Is this really where You want me Father?

“Deni to the nurse’s station.”

 I get close to the exam room and I hear her. She’s yelling, crying, cursing. I open the door and she starts in on me.  I know her. We’ve talked before.

She points at me, “No, no, no. I’m never getting better. I can’t do anything I used to. The doctors wants to send me for tests but no, no, no….” She sobs and catches her breath and starts in again.

“I sit all day and do nothing. My hand is dead. My life is useless. I can’t, I won’t do this anymore. You all lie…nothing, NOTHING is getting better…I hate this, I hate all of you…”

She is talking about moving to Oregon so she can get a doctor to, “Really help me…he’ll kill me, no questions asked.” She gets up to walk out more than once.  The last time she gets up, I pick up her purse and ask her if I can walk with her. She pulls away as I try to help, she continues crying and cursing and resisting…

She has a rollator and getting up was difficult, she almost lost her balance. She said her husband is in the lobby and we’ll walk right by my office.  She just wants out of here.

She talks about the pain and the loneliness. She talks about how she feels God has abandoned her. She wants to know why He didn’t take her after her stroke. She said He’s mean for making her stay on earth in the condition she’s in. She says her home is like a torture chamber. All of the things she’s made and all of the things left unfinished are all over her house. “I can’t stand to see what I can’t do anymore.”

We get to my office; I open the door and guide her in. She sits and continues venting, and crying and suffering…I listen.

After an hour, she starts to slow down. She is getting tired and she looks at me. I smile. I ask her to tell me one good thing that has happened in the past week. She received a thank you card. Her face brightens just a bit.

She reminds me of all the things she has made and given away. She made baby booties for a little boy and he is now 16 years old. She said she was in a store and the Mom saw her and came over to introduce her son. “I couldn’t believe it! He was so handsome and do you know, he still has those booties?? After all these years, they kept something I made.” She became tearful and thankful. She was softening, she doesn’t want to be so angry.

She said she can use her left hand after she “warms it up,” and she can still make a few things. She has to rest more than she used to. I tell her about Isaiah 58, In His service and tell her we’ve adopted some families in an apartment complex for Christmas. I ask her if she would be willing to make something to give them.

Oh, my gosh, she smiled! She wants to try to make stocking caps. I ask her to make a list of what she needs and we will provide. Her mind is flooded with memories. She has a spark of hope. Maybe, just maybe she can make something even now that can make a lasting memory for someone less fortunate than her.

Maybe God hasn’t abandoned her after all. I ask if I can pray for her. She reaches for my hand and bows her head… 

I walk her and her husband out and I’m paged again…

It’s enough, that’s all I need to be reminded that I am exactly where God wants me. My income, home, car, life, ministry they are His.  I pray to stay out of His way. I pray to see transformed lives; not only those who meet Him for the first time, I love to see seasoned Christians serve Him with reckless abandon! The heavens sing when the prodigal son returns. How cool is it that He wants to use someone like me? I know we are planting seeds. I also know that I won’t see the harvest of all of these seeds, but that’s okay.  Yet, I know I still have so much to learn…

Thank you for walking this walk with me.

In 1 John 2:6 it says, “Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did.”  I don’t know what that looks like each morning I get out of bed. I just know each day I pray for the courage to walk as Jesus did – just for today.  I long to be a tiny part of whatever He is doing.

“Jesus was continually saying to those around Him, “Don’t be afraid.” He understood that in this world no one is safe.  We all take risks every day – the issue is, what risks are we willing to take. Following Jesus is risky. He told His disciples in Matthew 10, “If you come after Me, nothing you own is safe, including you.”  When we follow the rule-violating, religion-threatening, category-breaking Jesus, our lives are always in jeopardy.

“The Christian life is more than finding Jesus – it is following Jesus. Following, it turns out, is not a one-time, spectacular act of faith, but a one-day-at-a-time, ordinary, unspectacular following: a daily act of fearlessness that takes us through the most frightening and rugged terrain to a place of peace, joy and abandon.

“Those who follow Christ with abandon are quietly fearless. They face the most difficult circumstances with determination and constancy regardless of whether they receive recognition or encouragement.

“What is it you and I are afraid to abandon? Our comfort? Our schedules? Our careers? Our money? Our possessions? Our security? Our theology? Our need for certainty? Our fear of making a mistake? Our parents’ expectations?

“If only the rich young ruler had abandoned his riches, he could have discovered the richness of following Jesus.

“If only the Pharisees could have abandoned their rules, they could have spent every day basking in the love of the Rule Maker.

“If only Pilate could have abandoned his power, he would have found the real power of brokenness and humility.

“So what do you say? Let’s become like children again, break away from the rule keepers, and make a run for Jesus.”  From the book Dangerous Wonder: The adventure of Childlike Faith by Michael Yaconelli

In His service, d