What IF: GATHERING

I knew the IF-GATHERING was coming for months. I knew because one of our Board members was on the host lead team and she reminded me…often. Although I was proud of her and glad she was enthusiastic about this gathering of women around the world via live stream…I was trying to avoid it like the plague.

I’ve been to women’s conferences before and they all seemed designed for a woman I wasn’t even close to being. The women attending those conferences looked like the women speakers. They wear jewelry made by women in Uganda that they bought in support of a ministry; they have read the latest books by Ann Voskamp or are in the latest Bible Study by Lisa Harper or Beth Moore.  They are surrounded by female friends just like them, married, kids (one is a foster child or adopted child), they volunteer at their kid’s school, and they meet at Starbucks to share life. They are leaders in some capacity at their church and many of them don’t have to work and can stay home to raise Godly kids. There are so many women who are in the middle class and live this life of like mindedness and are able to serve our Father and expand the Kingdom. Which is why most of the conferences are designed for this group of women.

But, the folks I hang out with live in an entirely different universe. They often smell like poverty, they have teeth that are broken and falling out, they may wear the same clothes for days at a time because they can’t afford a laundromat; the clothes are ripped and stained and too small or too big. They haven’t bathed because most of the time they don’t have water. They have no social skills; they may butt in line or smack their lips and drop crumbs on the floor. They may share loudly about being sexually abused by an uncle and going into foster care and aging out of the system. Their income is most likely a disability check. They have no concept of current events; many can’t read or spell and dropped out of school to have a baby. Most all of them have kids they are estranged from. They haven’t seen them in years and their kids most likely have been  or are in the system.  Their days are filled with surviving. Literally stressing moment by moment about basic needs; will they eat today? Will they get exploited or bullied? Will they be able to pay the utility bill? They don’t sleep through the night because they fret; they have no idea what it means to be still.  Many have undiagnosed mental illness and should be on meds. Nightmares, memories of abuse and neglect flood their minds and this is the way it’s always been so it will always be.

I’ve said often that I would rather sit on a curb with a drunk or in a hoarder’s car than go to church functions that fit everybody else but “my guys and gals.”  God has given me an understanding and empathy for these folks, because in many ways I’m just like them.  

God revealed to me in 1979 that ministry was in my future and that ministry would not include marriage or children. Well, okay then. But as God continued to mold and shape me, I drifted farther and farther away from typical, accepted and expected.

I wear blazers and pants every single work day that include two ink pens on my lapel and pins that advocate, “Patients first”, “Make a difference” and “Every child counts.” Every other public moment of my life include jeans and a sweatshirt or t-shirt or hoodie that have scripture written on them and I usually wear an Isaiah 58, In His Service ball cap. I don’t wear make-up, my hands are usually dry and I color my hair every once in awhile, regardless of how wide the gray stripe grows. I can’t converse about my marriage, or a fabulous dinner I cooked for a party of 6 or my last vacation to Disney World.

I can talk about how God has directed me to a family who are homeless because of unpaid medical bills or how we don’t have emergency housing in Tulsa or how seniors are going without food and medicine because they can’t afford transportation to get out, or after a person goes to a psychiatric hospital for stabilization they are discharged back to the same environment they left, because we have no step-down services for them.

I can talk about lives destroyed by guilt and shame from abuse and abortion and about caregivers suffering from compassion fatigue and how women I knew were killed by domestic violence, or families devastated by gun violence or suicide or mental illness or substance abuse.

I can talk about how many posts I see on Facebook that are horrid, fueled by ignorance that perpetuates hate and are posted by Christians.  How prejudice and bigotry are passed from generation to generation and far from the teachings of Jesus.

I digress. So you can see why I’m not invited over for an evening with friends much.

A week before the IF-GATHERING God nudged me to take some women to this weekend event. I admit I balked at first because I anticipated a weekend of disappointment and reminders of what these women were without.  I entered my “zone of prayer” to invite those He put on my heart. In the zone I also prayed for their protection, protection from bias and prejudice and ignorance. I also prayed for protection from distraction. To let them hear from God through topics and discussion they could relate to and I wanted them to feel welcome.  Oh God please don’t let them feel different, please let them fit in.

We got there on Friday evening and ordered food from the Purple People Feeder food truck! You see food is a very big draw for many of my folks. Ramen noodles and hot pockets can only go so far. One of our ladies has an anxiety disorder and she eats by taking a bite and walking around. Often she doesn’t finish because she wants to save it in case she gets hungry later and has no other food. But, tonight she ate. Every. Single. Bite. She sat and joined in the conversation and commented, “This is really good but I’m full.” Then she laughed and continued eating.

IF. If there could be a women’s gathering that included diverse speakers from around the world, IF they could talk about the tough stuff; injustice, sex trafficking, cancer,  living in the mundane, special needs, fostering/adoption, abortion, refugees. IF they even could have the courage to mention mental illness. IF they could have sign language interpreters, IF they would include real life tough stories even some without a happy ending, IF they wouldn’t be satisfied with the event and work harder and harder to include all women so everyone could relate and KNOW that God completely and wholly loves every one of them…us.  IF they would step into the role of walking with women in making disciples.  The 2018 IF: GATHERING did all of this more!

I can say with a full heart that our ladies were welcomed! They were engaged in conversations with ladies they had never met before, their hands were held and they were hugged. I saw them relax and laugh without interference from their real life back home. I watched them share some of their story with others and the others listened. They were encouraged.

Most importantly they weren’t watching from the outside but for once in their lives they were, “One of the girls.”

I was also asked, “When are you going to take us again?”

Towards the end of the second day I was asked by our Board member if we would take the leftover lasagna from lunch. We loaded boxes of lasagna, meat sauce, salad and bread into the van and headed out to take them home. All were indeed thankful!

For a little while, they forgot about their lives of without and believed, “What IF?”

Thank you so much to The Church at Midtown and the Church at Downtown for offering this incredible opportunity to come together in the name of and to the glory of Jesus!

In His service, deni

Thank you 2017 - Come on in, 2018

Isaiah 58, In His Service provides the tangible in order to build relationships and introduce people to Jesus. We remain steadfast in prayer. Asking God to bring us into a more intimate relationship with Him and lead us deeper in service. “Faith is taking the step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

We took two leaps of faith in 2017. We moved a 93 year old Veteran, on Hospice, from a nursing home into our Don Shank Ministry House. We have made the front living room into his master suite. Since he is bedbound we brought the outside world inside to him. He has a CD player with CD’s of his favorites, Hank Williams, Patsy Cline and Johnny Cash.  William, a Viet Nam Veteran, set up a humongous flat screen TV so they can watch the Rifleman together…DVD’s are on the way soon. Ann and her team are providing care for our Veteran around the clock. Thank you to Chrissy, Corey and Connor for graciously getting ‘whooped’ over and over at checkers. Thank you Adele for faithfully listening to his stories, even when she’s heard them before. Jennifer, APRN and Dr. Lamb continue to respond to evening and weekend texts and showing up in person to work through his health concerns. A special thank you to Nick, an amazing fireman who has put up smoke detectors, brought crew from the USS Tulsa to visit and remains a good friend. Thank you Nathan of Riggs Abney Law Firm for helping our Vet get his affairs in order.

It means so much to have folks who have walked with us for some time with faithful support; tangible and financial gifts, prayers, texts, reading & responding to our emails and cards. It is always exciting when we are blessed by new donors! Your unconditional love continues to inspire and encourage, thank you! Gary Anderson, Adele Baker, Joyce Beiger, Donna Birkenfeld, Linda & Brad Bookout, Bruce & Dana Bower, Dr. Shea & David Bowling,  Pastor Cody & Breanna Brumley,, Anna Callaway, Robyn Campbell, Terri & William Clayton, Dr. Carolyn Cobb, Dell & Kevin Coutant, Marilyn Inhofe Davis, Tammy Davis, Shannon Davison, Dr. Pamela Denning,  Deniese Dillon, Julie Donelson, Susan Dornblaser, Elizabeth Duncklee, Facilitators Class of First Baptist Church,  First Church of the Nazarene, First Fruits Ministries, Dr. Rachele & Matthew Floyd, Jacquelyn Franklin, Chrissy Frey, Dorothy & Myron Goforth, Dayna & Bobby Goins, Katie Goodson, JoAnn Gower, Peggy Greenfield, Linda Hale, Dr. Tom & Terri Hamilton, Hollie & John Hawkins, Dr. Michael & Gretchen Haugh,  Dr. Alex Himaya, Dr. Arthur Holleman,  Wade Holman, Jennie Howard, Dr. Valerie Howard, Paula & Rick Hutchings, Indian Health Care Resource Center, Becky & David John, Cindy & Michael Jones, Ellen Jones, Martha & John Jones, Jewel Kemberling, Hayden Lankie, Becca Leath, Mickey & Mike Lemery, Jill & Eric Marshall, Mac Martin, Melissa & Mark McAuliff, Bridget McClendon, William McWilliam, Naomi Meeks, Tara & Arik Miller, Jan Karon & the Mitford Children’s Foundation, Michael Morton, Nancy O’Banion, Dr. Jennifer & Alan O’Dell, Pastor Matt Philpot, Elaine & Richard Post, Cheri Potts & Stan Hall, Martha & Charlie Powell, Dr. Rachel & Tim Ray, Yolanda Robinson, Shepherd’s Class,

Carmelita Skeeter, Aly Sparkman Speers, Diane Steen & Larry Lathrop, Dr.’s Susan & John Studebaker, Brenda Taylor, Christy & David Taylor, Becca Thoman, Dr.’s Heather & Roy Thompson, Rene Thompson, Renee Vaught,  Georgeann & Ted Wagner, Stacey Wilson, Jean Winfrey, Monica Woodlee, Mark & Dawn Wright, Dru & John Young, and John Zito.

A “home” for Isaiah 58, In His Service has been our heart’s desire for some time. Through prayer, wise counsel and courage only God can give, we signed a lease for a 3,124 square foot space in the Admiral Shopping Center. Isaiah 58, In His Service is in between two amazing ministries, Aim High Academy and Share House. I was given the key on December 1^st  and spent some time with Jill our landlord; feeling thankful and knowing in my heart of hearts that God has plans for Isaiah 58, In His Service that are only possible through Him. Nothing is better than to be affirmed that your heart’s desire is the Father’s. Then the next morning at 11:30am on December 2^nd I was in a car wreck. A young woman ran a red light and totaled my car. Thankfully no one was seriously hurt. Our Chevy Astro van is on loan to a single Mom so she could continue her work as a caregiver and her night shift at Macy’s.

This left our “land shark” (a very large lift van that was donated to us right after we were incorporated) as the kids of Comanche Park call it, for me to drive. The wreck did not deter me from the ministry God had laid out before me that day which included moving a foster mom from one apartment to another. On December 3^rd we had our first Board of Director’s meeting in our new home. Our amazing Board, Julie, Mark, Melissa, Chrissy and Paula prayer walked and dedicated the building and ministry to the glory of God. On December 9^th, Wade, Yolanda, David, Patrick, Bruce and Dana miraculously emptied two storage units and a garage and delivered everything safe and sound to our new home! On New Year’s Eve we gathered in Isaiah 58, In His Service’s new home and prayed for so many who suffered loss in 2017 and we prayed with hope for 2018. Prayer by candlelight made for an incredibly blessed evening!

We were invited by a woman to empty and clean her home. We began on a Saturday morning in June and continued working, bringing her breakfast and praying for her on Saturdays through October. Anna, Chrissy and Wade were faithful servants and we had extra help from Keri, Mike and Maggie.

I was honored to share the Isaiah 58, In His Service story with the Sand Springs Church of the Nazarene! Thank you to Mary, Donna, John, Amy and everyone else who made me feel at home. We received 20+ cases of toilet paper and 8+ cases of soap from Lyndra and her lady friends. Often we would deliver groceries to seniors and families and the toilet paper was the first item they ‘oohed and awed’ over!

Driving around town I try to keep gift cards and bags of snacks and hygiene items in my vehicle to give away. Putting these bags together can be costly but this year we were blessed and blessed and blessed! Incredible “Blessings in a Bag” were given to us by Tia and Mical early in the year. For our Holiday Helping Hands Project we received Blessing Bags from Aly and her “gal group.” We also received Blessing Bags from Katy and her kidlets, Isabel, Justice and Reagan who provided colorful art and scriptures for each bag.  All of the bags were hand packed and included needed items such as water, gloves, snacks, toothbrush, hygiene items, etc. Isaiah 58, In His Service added gift cards to McDonalds, an invitation to my church, the Church at Downtown and the plan of salvation to each bag.

In April we celebrated a teen’s birthday by taking him and some of his friends from Comanche Park to Beijing Gourmet Chinese Buffet and Winter Jam! In July we took a group to see a Driller’s Baseball Game for their Family, Faith and Fun night! Hotdogs for everybody!

On Mother’s Day we put together a special basket and delivered to 7 unsuspecting Moms! Widows, single moms, foster moms and a grandma were reminded how special they are and how much they are appreciated.

Many times over the year needs would arise and God would send a hero to step in and be the hands and feet of Christ for us. Brian repaired garage doors for us, Jorge completely repaired the hole in the ceiling of the ministry house, Chuck repaired an oven and did a walk through at our new home to point out areas in need of attention, and Blake, of All Plumbing was called on to light the pilot on our water heater in the ministry house. Rick made deliveries for us and unclogged a sink. Wade, you know what they say about owning a truck and a trailer…you’ll always get called on to move things. Time and time again Wade loaded his truck and trailer for us and then unloaded it, loaded, unloaded… He demonstrated his mechanical skills many times including putting up a gate, replacing the dead bolt and door handle and fixing the fence at the ministry house. He also set off a bug bomb for us. Wade is the epitome of, “Here I am Lord, send me.”

I was humbled to be invited to First Baptist Jenks and spend an evening with the W.R.A.P. ministry; a ministry to fostering and adopting families.  They are doing the tough work and the essential work of raising hurt children to know the Jesus Who loves them wholly and completely.

Mike and Mickey, You Are Special Ministry have been faithful servants throughout this year. Taking folks to the hospital for procedures, delivering furniture and buying, wrapping and delivering gifts for our Holiday Helping Hands Project. They were present for the signing of our lease. We have shared many cups of coffee together and they are faithful friends who pray for Isaiah 58, In His Service and are amazing examples of what it means to live sacrificially for Jesus.  We are humbled to be their partners in sharing the gospel and loving on people in need.

Hayden, my delivery dude, and I delivered Thanksgiving baskets donated by St. John’s Episcopal Church to individuals and families. Chrissy, Corey and Connor delivered pre-cooked Thanksgiving dinners to individuals and families for a total of 19 baskets! Our 13^th Annual Holiday Helping Hands Project provided Christmas gifts to 42 individuals and families this year.  Thank you for faithfully adopting those God put on our heart, Heather, Rachel, Adele, Jennifer, Alan, and Mickey.

Such a blessing to have a “ministry home” for folks to meet, listen to Christmas music, pray for and wrap gifts for those we adopted this year!! Thank you to Paula, Rick, Scotti, Eva, Molly, Jenny, Julie, Chrissy and a special thank you to Connor for putting a bookcase together, finding the bike pump and then airing up tires!

Elaine made two HOPE pillows that were given to two widows who are also cancer survivors. Elaine is also my rock, my accountability partner, my prayer warrior and my best friend. Thank you for undergirding me! Cheri and Stan who own the Million Dollar Inn in Pawhuska, had the floors redone. They gave the old wood to Jim Ellis in Oregon who made beautiful crosses and gave them to Isaiah 58, In His Service!

John of Z Automotive has saved the day for many of our vehicles. Many times I would just “show up” with a leak, or a burned out light or a check engine light and John would take the time to make a repair so I could continue making my deliveries or home visits. This partnership has blessed so many in our community! He also has repaired bikes, assistive devices and provided incredible support to those we serve. Thank you John!

We are humbled to continue our partnerships with Genscripts Pharmacy, thank you Mark and Justin and staff for always taking such good care of those we send to you; Downtown Tulsa Tag Agency, and Yellow Checker Cab Company.

A special thank you to the CARES department of the Tulsa Fire Department, Captain Baker, Nick and Johnny and especially Fire Station 24 who has come to the rescue more than once!!

Melba has been our faithful bookkeeper for the last few years. She has struggled to decipher my handwriting as she enters receipts and amounts on the computer to send to Stanfield and O’Dell, our accounting firm.  Our 990 will be available in May for review.

Leslie, thank you for “getting it,” and listening to me vent. Thank you for your willingness to remain in the trenches, when it is messy, dangerous and flat out beyond belief! You rock!

Carmelita and the Indian Health Care Resource Center allow me to serve our Native American patients with resources provided by Isaiah 58, In His Service. The opportunity to practice hands and feet social work in a non-profit medical clinic is a blessing that was seemingly tailor made for me! Each day is an adventure into joy and tragedy, tears and laughter, righteous frustration and barrier breaking. I face each day with the Hope of knowing that God has placed me exactly where I am and I am humbled to get to do what I do. Carmelita, thank you for letting me do what I was called to do!

2018. Is it beginning like 2017 ended? Same routines, same habits, same devotionals. What if 2018 could be radically different? What if we put God first…literally. Jesus above family, work, community group, vacation…me. What if we asked God to change us from the inside out? To send us where we don’t want to go, where we would NEVER go? To send us to the place that scares us the most. What if we took off everything that is selfish, spoiled, and sacred and laid it all at His feet? The hurting around us is palpable. It is time. God first, others second, me last. Isaiah 58, In His Service is opening the door to change.  We challenge you to step outside your comfort zone.   Now is the time to take that step of faith! We need your help!

Know that you are prayed for…

“I thank God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of

Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1: 3-6

In His Service,

deni

We can do more. We can do better.

“You know what I hear all the time when I go to speak at churches or conferences? `I could never do what you’re doing.’ You know what I say? Usually I say something like, ` Well, I understand. This is what God has called me to do.’

You know what I WANT to say? `Why not?’ Stop being so weak. God did not create you to be a scared, irrelevant Christian. Why can’t you do this? What is holding you back if you know what God’s Word says and you know what He’s capable of doing? Why? Why? Why? Stop being afraid of the gutter and just go get in it.’ The world looks at the Church and sees a bunch of people too afraid to approach them.”

-The Gutter by Craig Gross

“Do not be afraid of change. Be afraid of not changing.” Anonymous.

"We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It's easy to say, ‘It's not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.’ Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.” – Fred Rogers

13th Annual Holiday Helping Hands Project - 42 Families and counting!

I looked up and there he was; Grizzly Adams. Well, that’s who he reminds me of. We’ve been walking with him for the last 5 or 6 years. He had loved on a Grandma raising her grandson but the Grandma died but he continues helping her son raise the little guy.

He took life for granted, including his wife until she got sick. He was “a beer guzzler” and a self-professed “bad man” until she died. After he lost her, he quit drinking cold turkey and retreated into his shack. I drive over once in awhile and give him a gift card so he can get some groceries. He reminds me that he doesn’t deserve kindness, but he takes the gift card only because he’s hungry.

We have included him in our Holiday Helping Hands Project for the last few years. This year he asked for a coat, gloves and jeans. He was adopted by a couple and the wife delivered his gifts. He has some pit bulls in the yard so needless to say she was a bit hesitant to enter the gate. He came out and received the gifts with a full heart.

He helped our ministry move into our new home. Each time he sees me he says, “You’re nicer to me than family, so if you need anything I wanna help ya.” He called and asked to talk to me in person. He sat in front of me in his new coat and jeans, his hands stained with years of grease and dirt, food particles in his long beard, hat in his hand, smelling of wood smoke with tears in his eyes.  He looked down as he spoke. He said he needs to go to court. He owes hundreds of dollars in fines and he’s afraid, “That judge may lock me up or make me do community service, my heart ain’t as strong as it used to be and what about my dogs.” He was ashamed. He was afraid.

I put my hand on his and I told him I would get him to court. I reminded him he was not alone and I would be there to help whatever the judge said.  He said I’ve helped him enough. I leaned down to look into his eyes and I told him that Jesus loves him wholly and completely and that Jesus died for all of his sins. I was brought into his life to share the love of Jesus and there is no limitation on that love. Everything that Isaiah 58, In His Service offers, is God’s first so as Jesus provides we give.

This gruff ol’ soul goes out every day picking up cans to sell. He repairs lawn mowers and fixes whatever he can to make a little cash. This is how he pays his fines. His social security check pays his rent. Sometimes he has water and electricity, more often than not, he doesn’t. The last time I gave him a gift card for food he said, “I don’t want to make you mad but I bought a little outfit for the baby and some food, they needed some help.” I gave him a bear hug and he said, “A week of liverwurst’s not so bad.” He smiled.

We got him to court and the judge didn’t order community service, “Said I was too old for that.” But, the judge told him to pay his fines. Since court we have paid for his tag and insurance on his truck. We gave him blankets, a comforter and gas for his truck. God willing we will help pay off his fines.

He’s been going to church with us the last few Sundays. He said he’s never been in a church like ours. He likes the music, “And that preacher, he makes sense and I think he’s been talkin’ just to me.” No one has shied away from shaking his greasy hand.  When I dropped him off after church he said, “I wish my girl could see me today, I miss her so but I think she’d like how I’m changin’ for the better.” Without a doubt!

2017 was our 13^th Annual Holiday Helping Hands Project. It wasn’t started to be an annual event. We began in 2005 when I worked at OU Pediatrics.  Our prayer was to provide Christmas to a few families who may otherwise not have anything. We decided to give gifts to everyone living in the home and the promise was, “We will deliver before Santa Claus comes down the chimney at midnight on Christmas Eve.” We required no application, we said ‘yes’ to everyone who asked for help, and we made sure to be ready to help the week before Christmas. It was quickly discovered that no agency or ministry was available to adopt new families during the week of Christmas, so since we’re a “gap filler” ministry, that’s when we get a lot of requests for help so we give! The Holiday Helping Hands Project begins in November and continues into January. If folks weren’t loved on for Christmas and God brings them to our attention we rally the troops and keep giving!

These values and promises have remained over the years. Some of you have been faithful from the beginning, including adopting, buying, wrapping and delivering! You have been willing to go into some homes that are scary looking and into neighborhoods with a bad reputation.  You have been willing to go where Jesus calls us to serve, where it’s dirty, smelly, shocking and heart breaking. 

I wish I could articulate just how much our Holiday Helping Hands Project means to these folks; single moms with kids, seniors living alone, kids with special needs, widows and widowers, foster families, Veterans, homeless, those living in extreme poverty, folks who feel forgotten, those going through cancer treatment, cancer survivors, those on Hospice, homebound folks, folks with mental illness, addictions and chronic illnesses, kids – of all ages. Not all of them ask for help. Sometimes God reminds me of someone and we just show up with wrapped gifts, an invitation to church and a reminder that Jesus is the reason we’re giving.

Why do we keep serving through the Holiday Helping Hands Project? Because Jesus calls us to plant seeds. Over the years we have loved on folks and been a witness to the life changing power of Jesus Christ! We have seen salvations, transformation, forgiveness and changed lives.  Because of our giving and the reason for our giving and the manner in which we give…years later I’ve run into people who grab my neck and squeeze, who reach for my hand, who look into my eyes and say,

“You probably don’t remember me, but a few years ago, we were really struggling and you came to our house with presents. We’re doing so much better now, but I saw you and I just wanted you to know that you were there when we needed you and I’ll never forget what you did for us or your ministry.”

It’s not me. It’s Jesus working through each one of you. Nudging you to step into the gap and provide Christmas to those in need. Each year gifts are bought and given to us to use as we need to. And each gift is always divinely guided; clothes in the right size for one kid we didn’t know we were going to adopt. A bike, a pair of shoes, a coat, and books all given before we knew we needed them!

HOPE. Christmas is a bittersweet time for so many. For many of those we give to, they dread November and December because it is a reminder of who they lost, what they don’t have, how alone they are and what they can’t give. Where they are is not where they have to stay. Life can get better. There is hope. His name is Jesus Christ!  

“We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers. We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3

Know that you are prayed for and you are not taken for granted, I thank God for each of you!

In His service, deni

Praying Hope for Those Who are Hurting

“For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though He brings grief, He will show compassion, so great is His unfailing love.” Lamentations 3:31-32

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“Security from Yesterday. `God requireth that which is past.’ At the end of the year we turn with eagerness to all that God has for the future, and yet anxiety is apt to arise from remembering the yesterdays. Our present enjoyment of God’s grace is apt to be checked by the memory of yesterday’s sins and blunders.  But God is the God of our yesterdays, and He allows the memory of them in order to turn the past into a ministry of spiritual culture for the future.  God reminds us of the past lest we get into a shallow security in the present.

Security for Tomorrow. `For the Lord will go before you.’ This is a gracious revelation, that God will garrison where we have failed to.  He will watch lest things trip us up again into like failure, as they assuredly would do if He were not our reward. God’s hand reaches back to the past and makes a clearing-house for conscience.

Security for Today. `For ye shall not go out with haste.’ As we go forth into the coming year, let it not be in the haste of impetuous, unremembering delight, nor with the flight of impulsive thoughtlessness, but with the patient power of knowing that the God of Israel will go before us. Our yesterdays present irreparable things to us; it is true that we have lost opportunities which will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future.  Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ.

Leave the Irreparable Past in His hands, and step out into the Irresistible Future with Him.” My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers. December 31^st.

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“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40: 28-31

Holiday Helping Hands Project - 2017

He’s one of those guys who I can’t wait to see. He struggles harder than anyone I know to stay alive every day. He is always battling the voices in his head. He is from a “well to do” family that disowned him. To drown out the voices he uses drugs and alcohol. But, for the past few months, he’s staying on his meds.

He has skills, but he hasn’t been able to keep it together for longer than 6 months in order to maintain a job. Because of his mental illness, lack of support and housing, he doesn’t live each day, he survives every day.

He is so hard on himself. When he messes up he tries to kill himself. He tried to hang himself in the woods but the branch broke, he tried to overdose on drugs but he threw up, he tried to cut himself but it hurt so much, he stopped cutting. He uses his suicide attempts as confirmation that God loves him and is watching over him. “He made that branch break; he won’t let me leave here because He has more for me to do.”

He always has stories of being on the streets that he shares. Like the time he was sleeping in a drainage ditch. “I was so comfy, plastic over my head, sleeping bag and I was in my jammies…I was sound asleep and I woke up to a roar I’d never heard before…there are no lions around here…oh no, water.” He was slammed by a wall of rain water, “The ride of my life, until I stopped…hard.”

He reminded me that he doesn’t have access to the weather channel and he saw stars when he was falling asleep and the next thing he knew he was seeing stars from crashing into the end of the drainage ditch.  I remember when he came to see me, he was still “soggy,” his PJ pants were still dripping and his shoes were soaked, squishing as he walked. “The bad guys hear me coming.”

His Dad died when he was young and he spent a lot of time with his “Holy roller” grandmother. He hasn’t seen her in a few years and he misses her a lot. He said she never judged him when he, “Went off and did really crazy things, I didn’t know what I was doing, but she didn’t care. She loved me all the way…you know when we were in church and she was praising Jesus, she glowed!” His face softened and his grin was childlike and the demons left him for a few moments.

I wanted God to freeze him like that. Father please take away his torment.  He wanted to run away to Colorado, “I like to ski.” But, as we talked he eventually knew it was not a wise decision, “I can’t get away from me, can I?”

I hold his rough, scarred and large hands and pray for him every time we see each other. His praises during the prayer are earnest as he wants God to heal him. He knows God can but he doesn’t believe God will heal him. “Maybe being crazy is the thorn in my side, me and Paul we have a lot in common, huh?” There’s that grin of hope.

We gave him a pair of water proof boots, which he wears with pride and thanks me every time he sees me. I tell him to stay safe and he tells me to pray for him.

Trust me. I am.

“…We are receiving a Kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe…” Hebrews 12:28

She is estranged from her children and her husband committed suicide. She lives alone and sleeps on a cardboard box.  We’ve given her a rollator (walker with wheels) and although she’s in pain she walks around her apartment complex for the exercise.

She eventually said it was okay for me to take her to the store. She used an electric cart and was like a kid on a race car track, weaving up and down the aisles. I thought for sure we’d get a ticket for recklessness! I told her to get whatever she wanted. Each time she picked something up she looked at me for approval.  She kept saying, “You tell me if this is too much.” She couldn’t remember the last time she bought groceries without the dollar limit and restrictions of a food stamp card.

She chose items she hasn’t had in years, “real” butter, “really soft” toilet paper, and Cheetos…two bags.  We loaded everything in the car and I asked her what she wanted for dinner. She gave me a look like, “Did you forget what we just did?”

I asked her what restaurant she wanted to go to. “You mean out to eat? To sit down and let someone else cook??” “Yep.” She couldn’t think of one. I suggested Ron’s. She turned to me and made an “OOHHH” with her mouth and said, “Cheese fries.” She ordered a burger big enough to take half of it home, “Breakfast.”

We got to her apartment and I unloaded everything into her kitchen. She grabbed my hand and asked me to pray for her. As I prayed she rested her cheek on my hand.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12

This is the 13^th year for our Holiday Helping Hands Project! These are a couple of the many folks we get to love on throughout the year. Christmas to the families and individuals we serve, is often a reminder of loved ones lost, how poor they are, how alone they are, how their kidlets will get little or nothing from Santa, and how stressful this time of year is.  By giving, we hope to help them have some good memories.

Our purpose in all we do is always to provide the tangible in order to build relationships and introduce people to Jesus. We always pray over these families and the gifts we give. We provide the plan of salvation and an invitation to church and we will also provide a ride to church, with all the gifts we give. 

We are adopting just a few families and individuals this year for our Holiday Helping Hands Project. If you would like to adopt a family or donate some gifts, or help in other ways, please let me know. As always, we ask for you to pray for Isaiah 58, In His Service.

We don’t plan for the holidays, we pray and God directs. There may be more that He wants us to do or love on folks in new ways. We are ready to be obedient! Our heart’s desire is to have His heart’s desire. So it will be exciting to see all that He does with our Holiday Helping Hands Project through you! 

A few months ago, as I was praying for Isaiah 58, In His Service it became clear that we were about to “turn a corner.” Shortly thereafter we moved a 93 year old, WW II veteran into our Don Shank Ministry House. He’s doing well and beating the staff in checkers daily!

Another corner we are rounding is that on December 1^st, Isaiah 58, In His Service will have a home, a “safe haven!” This is an amazing answer to prayer and a gigantic leap of faith! We will be moving into a 3,000 square foot space that is in-between the Share House and Aim High Academy, two amazing ministries!!!

God is moving and calling us to deeper and harder ministry. I will share more soon as well as pictures!! Thank you for loving Isaiah 58, In His Service for the past 13 years by helping us love on others! Know that you are prayed for.

In His service,
deni

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~ Melody Beattie

A day in the life of a Social Worker...

 RRRRIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!  

“This is deni.” Looks at clock, it’s 3:25am. “Ah, Miss Danny, when you bring our groceries tomorrow could you bring us some toilet paper, Alex used the last of it a little while ago…thank you…God bless you…bye.” Now I’m awake…so I begin to pray…the last time I remember looking at the clock it was 5:15am…it’s now 7:15am…I’m going to be late.

I grab my coffee and head out the door…jump into my car..on my way to the clinic…oh yuck, something rank reeks in the car…is it me? What did I have for dinner last night…no..man that’s bad.

Crap.

Literally, lots of it on the bottom of my shoe, sock, pant leg, floor mat. Ugh. Happy Monday…

As I walk in the door of the clinic, “deni to the front desk.” Great. I run into the bathroom and rinse off, then into my office and spray Lysol everywhere even on my pants. As I get to the front desk I’m paged to Behavioral Health.

Meatloaf, one of my homeless guys wants to talk. “I don’t know who it was but they beat the crap out of me, took my backpack and my wallet…didn’t take my diabetes meds though…crap.”

I know the feeling. I walk him to my office. I stock him up; wallet, Gatorade, crackers, bus tokens, backpack…he went to the ER no broken bones. “Be safe out there.” “Thanx miss dinny.”

Back to BH. One of my regulars is not happy and taking it out on the receptionists…I interrupt: ”Alice, let’s go to my office.” “Are you going to ride with me again today to the ward made for me?” “That’s up to you…did you take your meds this morning?” “I couldn’t I had to leave because (She whispers) they were watching me…” I ask her to take her meds. She does. Alice and I talk for awhile and off she goes.

My phone rings.

“This is deni.” “Jenny?” “Close enough.” “They transferred me to you because they said you’ll take any calls.” “Okay, so what’s up?” “Do you have a recipe to make meth?” “What?” “Okay, so we’ve been drinking for a few days, but we figured since we’re not working we could start making meth and make some money that way…”

“Oh, cool…call 918-596-9222 and tell them what you want to do and they’ll take good care of you.” “Cool, thanx.” “yep.”

A Code is called to the parking lot. I run outside and meet security. There’s a guy standing behind a truck cussin’ up a storm at a guy in another truck. The guy behind the truck said, “That idiot is as drunk as a skunk and he thot he’d take off and hit MY TRUCK…I’ve called the police.” Walking around to the driver side of the truck and I could smell him before I got to him. “Wasssup? That guy is rea…(belch)..lly mad. I’m not movin’ until the police get here.” “Sounds good…are those your beer cans down there?” “Oh, yeah, I have an extra…want one?” “Thanx I’m good…did you come here alone?” “Nope, my ol’ lady’s getting’ her anxiety pills…she’s been out WAY too long.” Then he says, “Dang, smells like dog crap with Lysol, you smell that?” I sigh.

The police come and take guzzler to the pokey; I sit down to write an incident report and I’m paged to medical.

“We can’t get her to quit crying…I can’t find out why she’s here because she won’t stop crying.” I put my hand on the door, “Father meet me here.” I walk in. It’s Judy. Wow, I haven’t seen her in months. She grabs me and hugs me and leaves mascara and make-up on my jacket. She’s sorry. She starts letting it out, her mother finally died…Judy had been primary caregiver for her mom for 6 years…losing her mom was a relief but now Judy’s not needed anymore. “My kids are sick of me…I can’t quit huggin’ and kissin’ my grandkids…they cover their faces when they see me coming.” Judy wailed. Judy beat cancer twice, ditched a cheatin’ and lyin’ husband after 23 years…everything’s different now…and she doesn’t know what to do with herself. So she cries. She tells me about her mom like she has many times before…she misses her. Listening, one of the things I do a lot and means the most. I told her I was looking for a day center for an elder who needed some socialization…”I was wondering if you have the time…would you go check them out for me? Let me know what you think? I don’t know a better caregiver.” “Really? You NEED me?” “Yep, let me get the addresses and whenever you have time…” “What time is it? Now, I can go now!” She hugged me til I squeaked. “Did they not clean this room? What is that I smell?”

“Deni, please call 1769.” I call and when the phone is answered all I hear is a kid screaming at the top of his lungs. “I’m coming.” I run to the lobby and see a toddler having a full-fledged tantrum in the corner, as I approach the Mom is standing with her hands over her face. I kneel and start to say something to the kidlet and she slugs me in the head with her doll. Then she started to laugh…and hits me again. Mom just stands there staring. I stand up and Mom comes back into the present…”I’m SO sorry…she hasn’t had lunch and I forgot her snacks.” I offer a juice box and a package of crackers. As I turn to walk away the little one hits me again…and giggles. Security smirks at me, “You have such a way with kids…” He smiles.

I head back to my office to try typing the incident report again. The phone rings. I hesitate. Then my door flies open and Jeffrey walks in. “I got to F&CS on one bus token, I got a transfer…but that was because Allan was driving the bus…I spent last night on a porch...it wasn’t bad…I laid there and watched my breath in the moonlight…until the dog showed up…wow…it smells like a dog in here….I gave him half my sonic burger…and then my “gang of 3” showed up and we talked until the sun came up…went to the Gates for breakfast…can I get another token? I need to go to Admiral and Garnett to get another phone…I had one, or two but no more no more…gotta get another one…I got my appointment with whoever you told me to see….oh, can I have a Gatorade too? You really need to do something about the smell in here…my eyes are watering…thanx miss demi…I know, I know `stay safe’…” and he was gone. I forgot what I was doing.

Oh rats, I missed another meeting…oh no…I missed it yesterday…ugh. My door flies open. He stumbles into my desk and then collapses onto a chair. He is REALLY drunk. “I AM READY FOR REHAB….” He looks at me and smiles. I am getting a contact high from the smell of listo. “Walt…run out of Vodka? I smell Listerine??” “I’m not drunk…I came here to get help…the room is moving.” “You need to sober up and come back and then we’ll talk about rehab…we’ve had this conversation MANY times before.” “I want to have it now.” “You won’t remember anything I say…Walt? Walt?” He is fading…I push him into the chair in the corner and lean his head against the wall...” I tear up as I look at him, thank you Jesus that he is still alive…okay, now back to my incident report and I’m paged again…

Then there are those days when someone wants to kill himself, a Grandma tells me she has no hope, a kid’s getting bullied, a girl cuts herself, a girlfriend is abused, a young man struggles with his identity, the foster family gets another baby with nothing, a widower stops taking his insulin, the teen is pregnant again, someone dies unexpectedly…these are days when I am reminded what WE do is invaluable.

I’m not alone. There are Social Workers all over our state who can share similar days. Many of them are about to lose their jobs. You can make a difference; let your voice be heard  .contact your legislators.

Better yet contact your pastor and ask him if your church will adopt a non-profit that is changing and saving lives…there’s one right down the street from your church.

If you don’t, I promise you, one day you’ll contact a Social Worker for help. The gap is a gaping hole, don’t make excuses any longer! You are needed! Take Action!

We can do more! We can do better!

In His service, deni A. fholer, LMSW, CCFP executive director/president Isaiah 58, In His service, Inc.

Stepping Up

A few months ago I was contacted by a local fire chief. He said a World War II veteran was transported to the hospital and had no family, no support system, except the firemen at a local fire house, and really needed someone to love on him.  The 93 year old senior had fallen and injured his back. After his hospital stay he was transferred to rehab. That’s where I met him.

I sat with him while he shared story after story about his amazing life. Some stories he liked so much he would tell me again and again. He was still living in the home his great-grandmother had built. He wanted to go back home and he sorely missed his dog.

We made arrangements and I picked him up and took him home. He told me his lift chair was broken, but that’s where he wanted to sit. He settled in, turned the western channel on the TV and a fireman who had been caring for his dog brought her home.

We had some obstacles that were compromising his care. He chose to remain in his recliner, but very quickly it was evident that he needed more private duty staff than we had hired, because he couldn’t get up and walk. As we began to discuss possible options to move him, he never wavered, “This is my home, this is where I lived with my wife, I’m staying here.”

A week or two later he fell and was taken back to the hospital. He remained in the hospital for awhile but eventually was transferred again to a skilled nursing facility. When I went to see him, he asked me not to let him suffer “in this horrible place” much longer. The doctor told me his prognosis was poor and she suggested Hospice. The dog is his only family and he missed her terribly.

I have been maintaining the house of a longtime family friend who died in December of last year. I was unsure what God wanted to do with the house. But, the fog lifted and it became very clear what God had in mind. I went back to the nursing home and made a suggestion.

I told him that God has provided a house that is tailor made for him. There’s a wheelchair ramp, it’s in a central location, it has a yard for his dog and it belonged to a World War II veteran, who had no one and was 93 when he went to Heaven. I said, “Nothing would have made my friend Don happier than to have a war buddy stay in his house.” My new friend grabbed my hand, smiled and asked if he could move in the next day. This was last Monday night.

By late on Friday afternoon he rode up in a non-emergency ambulance. They rolled him in and put him in the front room, specifically set up for him. My friend needs 24/7 care as he is bed bound. Private duty staff started today at noon. So, there will always be someone there with him to care for him.

My new friend doesn’t know Jesus. Whenever anyone mentions Christ to him, he responds with, “My wife, she was a Christian woman.” So, we are asking for prayer support that he will say “yes” to Jesus.

But, we are also asking for volunteers to spend time with him during the day. We are also asking for some meals. He doesn’t have much of an appetite but he will eat when we talk up a dish and then give it to him! He also has a sweet tooth!

If God nudges you to step into the life of this man and love on him, please let me know. He is more apt to eat if someone is eating with him or at least within earshot so he can tell you of his deployment to Germany, the days of playing guitar with American Dance Band, in Shakey’s Pizza and some famous folks in Nashville.

As many of you know, my sister and brother-in-law took me on the vacation of a lifetime. We went to see Yellowstone National Park and the Grand Tetons. It was a week of being overwhelmed by the presence of God in everything we experienced.

We witnessed some geothermal features while being led on a tour by Park Ranger Jim.  During our tour he came to a mud pot...and he said nothing.

Silence.

He then spoke and said, “Yellowstone is a symphony, a full sensory experience. We didn’t do anything – humans – it all exists without us doing anything.” He said, we are so easily disconnected from this symphony in part because of all of our social media addictions; our need for noise. “Yellowstone touches all of our senses if we allow it to. We didn’t have to do anything; it’s here because we didn’t do anything.”  God’s Glorious Presence!

Now, I don’t know if Park Ranger Jim is a Christian but this is amazing theology to me!! The brilliant colors, the odor of a bison walking by my window, the sounds of water falling, leaves crunching, the fullness of the moon, the brisk temperatures early in the morning, the reality that no matter where we went in the park – and we went everywhere! in the park – there were no duplicates, no repeats – everywhere we went it was a reminder that God is the God of all creatures, thermal features, LIFE and there are not two of anything, we are all unique and perfectly designed!!! He designed us for His symphony.

We are being obedient by loving on this Veteran and we are hopeful this will be the first step towards the Don Shank Ministry House.

We hope you will join us as God leads us in this new adventure into a greatly needed territory of ministry!

Know that you are prayed for.

In His service, d

We can do more. We can do better. 

“The Presence of God Changes Everything…the Presence of God…it marks us, it stuns us, it shatters us, it remakes us, it propels us.” Pastor Alex Himaya

“Then I heard the Lord asking, `Whom should I send as a messenger to my people? Who will go for us?’ And I said,

`Lord, I’ll go! Send me.’” Isaiah 6:8