Holiday Helping Hands Project - 2017

He’s one of those guys who I can’t wait to see. He struggles harder than anyone I know to stay alive every day. He is always battling the voices in his head. He is from a “well to do” family that disowned him. To drown out the voices he uses drugs and alcohol. But, for the past few months, he’s staying on his meds.

He has skills, but he hasn’t been able to keep it together for longer than 6 months in order to maintain a job. Because of his mental illness, lack of support and housing, he doesn’t live each day, he survives every day.

He is so hard on himself. When he messes up he tries to kill himself. He tried to hang himself in the woods but the branch broke, he tried to overdose on drugs but he threw up, he tried to cut himself but it hurt so much, he stopped cutting. He uses his suicide attempts as confirmation that God loves him and is watching over him. “He made that branch break; he won’t let me leave here because He has more for me to do.”

He always has stories of being on the streets that he shares. Like the time he was sleeping in a drainage ditch. “I was so comfy, plastic over my head, sleeping bag and I was in my jammies…I was sound asleep and I woke up to a roar I’d never heard before…there are no lions around here…oh no, water.” He was slammed by a wall of rain water, “The ride of my life, until I stopped…hard.”

He reminded me that he doesn’t have access to the weather channel and he saw stars when he was falling asleep and the next thing he knew he was seeing stars from crashing into the end of the drainage ditch.  I remember when he came to see me, he was still “soggy,” his PJ pants were still dripping and his shoes were soaked, squishing as he walked. “The bad guys hear me coming.”

His Dad died when he was young and he spent a lot of time with his “Holy roller” grandmother. He hasn’t seen her in a few years and he misses her a lot. He said she never judged him when he, “Went off and did really crazy things, I didn’t know what I was doing, but she didn’t care. She loved me all the way…you know when we were in church and she was praising Jesus, she glowed!” His face softened and his grin was childlike and the demons left him for a few moments.

I wanted God to freeze him like that. Father please take away his torment.  He wanted to run away to Colorado, “I like to ski.” But, as we talked he eventually knew it was not a wise decision, “I can’t get away from me, can I?”

I hold his rough, scarred and large hands and pray for him every time we see each other. His praises during the prayer are earnest as he wants God to heal him. He knows God can but he doesn’t believe God will heal him. “Maybe being crazy is the thorn in my side, me and Paul we have a lot in common, huh?” There’s that grin of hope.

We gave him a pair of water proof boots, which he wears with pride and thanks me every time he sees me. I tell him to stay safe and he tells me to pray for him.

Trust me. I am.

“…We are receiving a Kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe…” Hebrews 12:28

She is estranged from her children and her husband committed suicide. She lives alone and sleeps on a cardboard box.  We’ve given her a rollator (walker with wheels) and although she’s in pain she walks around her apartment complex for the exercise.

She eventually said it was okay for me to take her to the store. She used an electric cart and was like a kid on a race car track, weaving up and down the aisles. I thought for sure we’d get a ticket for recklessness! I told her to get whatever she wanted. Each time she picked something up she looked at me for approval.  She kept saying, “You tell me if this is too much.” She couldn’t remember the last time she bought groceries without the dollar limit and restrictions of a food stamp card.

She chose items she hasn’t had in years, “real” butter, “really soft” toilet paper, and Cheetos…two bags.  We loaded everything in the car and I asked her what she wanted for dinner. She gave me a look like, “Did you forget what we just did?”

I asked her what restaurant she wanted to go to. “You mean out to eat? To sit down and let someone else cook??” “Yep.” She couldn’t think of one. I suggested Ron’s. She turned to me and made an “OOHHH” with her mouth and said, “Cheese fries.” She ordered a burger big enough to take half of it home, “Breakfast.”

We got to her apartment and I unloaded everything into her kitchen. She grabbed my hand and asked me to pray for her. As I prayed she rested her cheek on my hand.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12

This is the 13^th year for our Holiday Helping Hands Project! These are a couple of the many folks we get to love on throughout the year. Christmas to the families and individuals we serve, is often a reminder of loved ones lost, how poor they are, how alone they are, how their kidlets will get little or nothing from Santa, and how stressful this time of year is.  By giving, we hope to help them have some good memories.

Our purpose in all we do is always to provide the tangible in order to build relationships and introduce people to Jesus. We always pray over these families and the gifts we give. We provide the plan of salvation and an invitation to church and we will also provide a ride to church, with all the gifts we give. 

We are adopting just a few families and individuals this year for our Holiday Helping Hands Project. If you would like to adopt a family or donate some gifts, or help in other ways, please let me know. As always, we ask for you to pray for Isaiah 58, In His Service.

We don’t plan for the holidays, we pray and God directs. There may be more that He wants us to do or love on folks in new ways. We are ready to be obedient! Our heart’s desire is to have His heart’s desire. So it will be exciting to see all that He does with our Holiday Helping Hands Project through you! 

A few months ago, as I was praying for Isaiah 58, In His Service it became clear that we were about to “turn a corner.” Shortly thereafter we moved a 93 year old, WW II veteran into our Don Shank Ministry House. He’s doing well and beating the staff in checkers daily!

Another corner we are rounding is that on December 1^st, Isaiah 58, In His Service will have a home, a “safe haven!” This is an amazing answer to prayer and a gigantic leap of faith! We will be moving into a 3,000 square foot space that is in-between the Share House and Aim High Academy, two amazing ministries!!!

God is moving and calling us to deeper and harder ministry. I will share more soon as well as pictures!! Thank you for loving Isaiah 58, In His Service for the past 13 years by helping us love on others! Know that you are prayed for.

In His service,
deni

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~ Melody Beattie

A day in the life of a Social Worker...

 RRRRIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!  

“This is deni.” Looks at clock, it’s 3:25am. “Ah, Miss Danny, when you bring our groceries tomorrow could you bring us some toilet paper, Alex used the last of it a little while ago…thank you…God bless you…bye.” Now I’m awake…so I begin to pray…the last time I remember looking at the clock it was 5:15am…it’s now 7:15am…I’m going to be late.

I grab my coffee and head out the door…jump into my car..on my way to the clinic…oh yuck, something rank reeks in the car…is it me? What did I have for dinner last night…no..man that’s bad.

Crap.

Literally, lots of it on the bottom of my shoe, sock, pant leg, floor mat. Ugh. Happy Monday…

As I walk in the door of the clinic, “deni to the front desk.” Great. I run into the bathroom and rinse off, then into my office and spray Lysol everywhere even on my pants. As I get to the front desk I’m paged to Behavioral Health.

Meatloaf, one of my homeless guys wants to talk. “I don’t know who it was but they beat the crap out of me, took my backpack and my wallet…didn’t take my diabetes meds though…crap.”

I know the feeling. I walk him to my office. I stock him up; wallet, Gatorade, crackers, bus tokens, backpack…he went to the ER no broken bones. “Be safe out there.” “Thanx miss dinny.”

Back to BH. One of my regulars is not happy and taking it out on the receptionists…I interrupt: ”Alice, let’s go to my office.” “Are you going to ride with me again today to the ward made for me?” “That’s up to you…did you take your meds this morning?” “I couldn’t I had to leave because (She whispers) they were watching me…” I ask her to take her meds. She does. Alice and I talk for awhile and off she goes.

My phone rings.

“This is deni.” “Jenny?” “Close enough.” “They transferred me to you because they said you’ll take any calls.” “Okay, so what’s up?” “Do you have a recipe to make meth?” “What?” “Okay, so we’ve been drinking for a few days, but we figured since we’re not working we could start making meth and make some money that way…”

“Oh, cool…call 918-596-9222 and tell them what you want to do and they’ll take good care of you.” “Cool, thanx.” “yep.”

A Code is called to the parking lot. I run outside and meet security. There’s a guy standing behind a truck cussin’ up a storm at a guy in another truck. The guy behind the truck said, “That idiot is as drunk as a skunk and he thot he’d take off and hit MY TRUCK…I’ve called the police.” Walking around to the driver side of the truck and I could smell him before I got to him. “Wasssup? That guy is rea…(belch)..lly mad. I’m not movin’ until the police get here.” “Sounds good…are those your beer cans down there?” “Oh, yeah, I have an extra…want one?” “Thanx I’m good…did you come here alone?” “Nope, my ol’ lady’s getting’ her anxiety pills…she’s been out WAY too long.” Then he says, “Dang, smells like dog crap with Lysol, you smell that?” I sigh.

The police come and take guzzler to the pokey; I sit down to write an incident report and I’m paged to medical.

“We can’t get her to quit crying…I can’t find out why she’s here because she won’t stop crying.” I put my hand on the door, “Father meet me here.” I walk in. It’s Judy. Wow, I haven’t seen her in months. She grabs me and hugs me and leaves mascara and make-up on my jacket. She’s sorry. She starts letting it out, her mother finally died…Judy had been primary caregiver for her mom for 6 years…losing her mom was a relief but now Judy’s not needed anymore. “My kids are sick of me…I can’t quit huggin’ and kissin’ my grandkids…they cover their faces when they see me coming.” Judy wailed. Judy beat cancer twice, ditched a cheatin’ and lyin’ husband after 23 years…everything’s different now…and she doesn’t know what to do with herself. So she cries. She tells me about her mom like she has many times before…she misses her. Listening, one of the things I do a lot and means the most. I told her I was looking for a day center for an elder who needed some socialization…”I was wondering if you have the time…would you go check them out for me? Let me know what you think? I don’t know a better caregiver.” “Really? You NEED me?” “Yep, let me get the addresses and whenever you have time…” “What time is it? Now, I can go now!” She hugged me til I squeaked. “Did they not clean this room? What is that I smell?”

“Deni, please call 1769.” I call and when the phone is answered all I hear is a kid screaming at the top of his lungs. “I’m coming.” I run to the lobby and see a toddler having a full-fledged tantrum in the corner, as I approach the Mom is standing with her hands over her face. I kneel and start to say something to the kidlet and she slugs me in the head with her doll. Then she started to laugh…and hits me again. Mom just stands there staring. I stand up and Mom comes back into the present…”I’m SO sorry…she hasn’t had lunch and I forgot her snacks.” I offer a juice box and a package of crackers. As I turn to walk away the little one hits me again…and giggles. Security smirks at me, “You have such a way with kids…” He smiles.

I head back to my office to try typing the incident report again. The phone rings. I hesitate. Then my door flies open and Jeffrey walks in. “I got to F&CS on one bus token, I got a transfer…but that was because Allan was driving the bus…I spent last night on a porch...it wasn’t bad…I laid there and watched my breath in the moonlight…until the dog showed up…wow…it smells like a dog in here….I gave him half my sonic burger…and then my “gang of 3” showed up and we talked until the sun came up…went to the Gates for breakfast…can I get another token? I need to go to Admiral and Garnett to get another phone…I had one, or two but no more no more…gotta get another one…I got my appointment with whoever you told me to see….oh, can I have a Gatorade too? You really need to do something about the smell in here…my eyes are watering…thanx miss demi…I know, I know `stay safe’…” and he was gone. I forgot what I was doing.

Oh rats, I missed another meeting…oh no…I missed it yesterday…ugh. My door flies open. He stumbles into my desk and then collapses onto a chair. He is REALLY drunk. “I AM READY FOR REHAB….” He looks at me and smiles. I am getting a contact high from the smell of listo. “Walt…run out of Vodka? I smell Listerine??” “I’m not drunk…I came here to get help…the room is moving.” “You need to sober up and come back and then we’ll talk about rehab…we’ve had this conversation MANY times before.” “I want to have it now.” “You won’t remember anything I say…Walt? Walt?” He is fading…I push him into the chair in the corner and lean his head against the wall...” I tear up as I look at him, thank you Jesus that he is still alive…okay, now back to my incident report and I’m paged again…

Then there are those days when someone wants to kill himself, a Grandma tells me she has no hope, a kid’s getting bullied, a girl cuts herself, a girlfriend is abused, a young man struggles with his identity, the foster family gets another baby with nothing, a widower stops taking his insulin, the teen is pregnant again, someone dies unexpectedly…these are days when I am reminded what WE do is invaluable.

I’m not alone. There are Social Workers all over our state who can share similar days. Many of them are about to lose their jobs. You can make a difference; let your voice be heard  .contact your legislators.

Better yet contact your pastor and ask him if your church will adopt a non-profit that is changing and saving lives…there’s one right down the street from your church.

If you don’t, I promise you, one day you’ll contact a Social Worker for help. The gap is a gaping hole, don’t make excuses any longer! You are needed! Take Action!

We can do more! We can do better!

In His service, deni A. fholer, LMSW, CCFP executive director/president Isaiah 58, In His service, Inc.

Stepping Up

A few months ago I was contacted by a local fire chief. He said a World War II veteran was transported to the hospital and had no family, no support system, except the firemen at a local fire house, and really needed someone to love on him.  The 93 year old senior had fallen and injured his back. After his hospital stay he was transferred to rehab. That’s where I met him.

I sat with him while he shared story after story about his amazing life. Some stories he liked so much he would tell me again and again. He was still living in the home his great-grandmother had built. He wanted to go back home and he sorely missed his dog.

We made arrangements and I picked him up and took him home. He told me his lift chair was broken, but that’s where he wanted to sit. He settled in, turned the western channel on the TV and a fireman who had been caring for his dog brought her home.

We had some obstacles that were compromising his care. He chose to remain in his recliner, but very quickly it was evident that he needed more private duty staff than we had hired, because he couldn’t get up and walk. As we began to discuss possible options to move him, he never wavered, “This is my home, this is where I lived with my wife, I’m staying here.”

A week or two later he fell and was taken back to the hospital. He remained in the hospital for awhile but eventually was transferred again to a skilled nursing facility. When I went to see him, he asked me not to let him suffer “in this horrible place” much longer. The doctor told me his prognosis was poor and she suggested Hospice. The dog is his only family and he missed her terribly.

I have been maintaining the house of a longtime family friend who died in December of last year. I was unsure what God wanted to do with the house. But, the fog lifted and it became very clear what God had in mind. I went back to the nursing home and made a suggestion.

I told him that God has provided a house that is tailor made for him. There’s a wheelchair ramp, it’s in a central location, it has a yard for his dog and it belonged to a World War II veteran, who had no one and was 93 when he went to Heaven. I said, “Nothing would have made my friend Don happier than to have a war buddy stay in his house.” My new friend grabbed my hand, smiled and asked if he could move in the next day. This was last Monday night.

By late on Friday afternoon he rode up in a non-emergency ambulance. They rolled him in and put him in the front room, specifically set up for him. My friend needs 24/7 care as he is bed bound. Private duty staff started today at noon. So, there will always be someone there with him to care for him.

My new friend doesn’t know Jesus. Whenever anyone mentions Christ to him, he responds with, “My wife, she was a Christian woman.” So, we are asking for prayer support that he will say “yes” to Jesus.

But, we are also asking for volunteers to spend time with him during the day. We are also asking for some meals. He doesn’t have much of an appetite but he will eat when we talk up a dish and then give it to him! He also has a sweet tooth!

If God nudges you to step into the life of this man and love on him, please let me know. He is more apt to eat if someone is eating with him or at least within earshot so he can tell you of his deployment to Germany, the days of playing guitar with American Dance Band, in Shakey’s Pizza and some famous folks in Nashville.

As many of you know, my sister and brother-in-law took me on the vacation of a lifetime. We went to see Yellowstone National Park and the Grand Tetons. It was a week of being overwhelmed by the presence of God in everything we experienced.

We witnessed some geothermal features while being led on a tour by Park Ranger Jim.  During our tour he came to a mud pot...and he said nothing.

Silence.

He then spoke and said, “Yellowstone is a symphony, a full sensory experience. We didn’t do anything – humans – it all exists without us doing anything.” He said, we are so easily disconnected from this symphony in part because of all of our social media addictions; our need for noise. “Yellowstone touches all of our senses if we allow it to. We didn’t have to do anything; it’s here because we didn’t do anything.”  God’s Glorious Presence!

Now, I don’t know if Park Ranger Jim is a Christian but this is amazing theology to me!! The brilliant colors, the odor of a bison walking by my window, the sounds of water falling, leaves crunching, the fullness of the moon, the brisk temperatures early in the morning, the reality that no matter where we went in the park – and we went everywhere! in the park – there were no duplicates, no repeats – everywhere we went it was a reminder that God is the God of all creatures, thermal features, LIFE and there are not two of anything, we are all unique and perfectly designed!!! He designed us for His symphony.

We are being obedient by loving on this Veteran and we are hopeful this will be the first step towards the Don Shank Ministry House.

We hope you will join us as God leads us in this new adventure into a greatly needed territory of ministry!

Know that you are prayed for.

In His service, d

We can do more. We can do better. 

“The Presence of God Changes Everything…the Presence of God…it marks us, it stuns us, it shatters us, it remakes us, it propels us.” Pastor Alex Himaya

“Then I heard the Lord asking, `Whom should I send as a messenger to my people? Who will go for us?’ And I said,

`Lord, I’ll go! Send me.’” Isaiah 6:8

Legacy of Integrity

Listening to a Christian radio station the other day, I heard the lead singer say, “Personally I pray to leave a legacy of integrity.”  A lead singer of one of the most successful Christian bands in history; he doesn’t want to make lots of money, or live a life of comfort, no, he wants his walk to be the walk of Jesus…above all else.

A legacy of integrity.

In*teg*ri*ty – The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. The state of being whole and undivided. The condition of being unified, unimpaired, or sound in construction.

We should not be surprised or angry when a lost soul lies to us, cheats us or doesn’t do what they say they will do.  They don’t know Jesus. But, how should we respond when a person proclaiming to be a child of God does these things?

I can tell you I had a hard time comprehending this when it first started happening. Over the years many Christians have promised to give, support, donate and volunteer for Isaiah 58, In His Service…their promises came easily out of their mouths only to vanish into thin air.

This trend has continued throughout our ministry. Promises of shoes, repairs on a house, a vehicle, mow a lawn, monthly support, etc. have been offered, but none of it was received. In the beginning I spent time on my face, in tears. Not because we didn’t receive what was promised but because these Christians verbally committed to do something and their actions were far from their words.  I looked up to them, I respected them, and I counted them as people of integrity…but they never followed through. I don’t believe they intended to give me false hope.  I believe they forgot, they didn’t mean it when they said it, they spoke impulsively, or they figured I’d forget what they said.

But, the bottom line is, the character trait of integrity is not forged into their construction if their words are insignificant, unimportant or easily dismissed. More so what if they tossed words frivolously to their children, coworkers or the unsaved? When we claim to be Christ followers anyone should be able to trust what we say and our actions should follow accordingly, right?

After a long time of learning, my response now is to be thankful. Each time a gift is offered but never delivered, I praise God! Admittedly, I pray for God to convict the heck out of the person too. I’m still working on that…

When I make a promise, I do everything possible to keep it. I know how much the disappointment hurts. Even if someone promises to give and they don’t, I will make sure I give anyway, often out of my own (God’s) pocket.

Truthfully, God has often nudged me to help someone when we have no money in our account and no immediate resources available. So I tell them, “God has promised to take care of you, but right now I’m not sure how He’s gonna do it. So, pray with me and I know His answer will be amazing!” Sometimes it’s taken a day, a week or a month, but along the way, I touch base with them, I remind them I haven’t forgotten about them, and we both are being taught a lesson in patience. God always comes through.

I am also continuously practicing integrity in every step of my walk with Jesus.  Many times I have promised to drive someone somewhere, go to an event to support someone, or just make a phone call and when the time comes, sometimes I don’t wanna, but I do it anyway. I want my example to glorify Jesus. I want to be dependable. I want to be a woman of my word. I want people to know they can count on me. Not to mention by being obedient God often offers me a “God moment” that I would have missed, if my selfishness had reigned.

But, boy do I mess up sometimes. When I do, I apologize. I admit that I screwed up, I ask for forgiveness and I try to make it up to the person I let down. I don’t try to ignore the fact that I goofed big time, I don’t try to exaggerate my way out of it and I don’t try to defend my actions. In fact, I have been wrongly accused more than once, and my Social Work advocacy line of defense raises its head and I have to shut it down….when it comes to me.

I was sitting in my office and my door was cracked. I heard someone begin to cry and quickly it became sobbing. I opened the door and she was standing there with her hand over her mouth. Neither one of us said a word, I reached out, took her hand and she walked into my office.  Someone very close to her had died. She was caught between being the responsible family member needing to get to work and organize a funeral and the grieving loved one who was slowly realizing life would never be the same.

For the next uninterrupted hour and a half she shared story after story, she testified to a real live relationship with Jesus and she confessed that her loved one was with Jesus, standing whole and complete! We praised God together! Then we held hands and I prayed for her. She apologized for using almost a whole box of tissues and we laughed and we hugged each other as if we were longtime friends. She squeezed both of my hands and said, “Now to tell the rest of the family, “and she was gone.

I may never see her again but to know that I was exactly where I was supposed to be at that moment is without a doubt the hand of God and it is so humbling. For me to have an uninterrupted hour and half is truly the hand of God!

My day is filled with a roller coaster of events, reporting child abuse, calling the police, calming angry people, transporting a suicidal grandma to the hospital, reassuring someone who is having a panic attack, providing resources to a single Mom living in her car, listening as someone vents, visiting seniors living alone, delivering groceries, loving on someone who is homeless again, playing with kidlets while their Dad is seeing a doctor, and helping someone get into rehab.

This roller coaster is not restricted to my job, it goes into my evenings and weekends as the needs of our community don’t stop at 5pm. When you pray for Isaiah 58, In His Service, when you provide tangible gifts, when you send us a check these blessings offer the love of Jesus to anyone around the next corner.

We received $82,867 in 2015. In 2016 we received $46,281. So far this year we are behind 2016. We have done some amazing things, we took a Mission Trip to Tulsa, we presented LOVE GOES, a faith based social services conference and we have gone to many Christian concerts with all ages of folks and we have seen Jesus change lives.

Isaiah 58, In His Service is praying for God to nudge folks so we can step into gaps that are growing into canyons. We want to provide opportunities for people to step outside of their comfort zone and be willing to let Jesus show love to the least of these in ways you could never imagine! Mission Trip to Tulsa 2, Love Goes 2, The Banquet of New Beginnings, a fishing adventure in memory of my Dad and Emergency and Restorative Housing.  Vincent van Gogh said, “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” This is a perfect description of Isaiah 58, In His Service!

I am so thankful for all that God has done, is doing and will do through Isaiah 58, In His Service! I am also very thankful for those of you who have remained faithful in providing prayer support, tangible and financial gifts. Thank you for loving on us so we can love on others!

God has placed me on the front lines with hurting people. I see the needs daily, and the kicker is, I see solutions too. But, it is up to the Father to give me permission to take action. Part of that permission involves nudging donors to sustain those solutions.

“I know You’re able, and I know You can, save through the fire with Your mighty hand, but even if You don’t, my hope is You alone. I know the sorrow, I know the hurt, would all go away if You’d just say the word, but even if You don’t, my hope is You alone,” Even If by Mercy Me

But even if You don’t, my hope is You alone.

Know that you are prayed for.

In His service,

deni A. fholer,

We can do more. We can do better.

 “When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.  Do not let your mouth lead you into sin.” Ecclesiastes 5:4-6

Mother's Day

This weekend is a special time of year. My sister’s birthday and a good buddy of mine had his birthday on the 12^th.  And it’s Mother’s Day.

Scrolling through Facebook there are so many pictures of friends with their mothers. Most sing praises of their Moms. Some photos are of Moms that are no longer here. This is my first mother’s day without my Mom. But they are happy pictures. They are celebrating with flowers, a nice dinner out, family.

Pastor Alex of the Church at churches is preaching a series called RISE. It is a charge for church goers to RISE to the needs of our community as we have never done before. But he’s educating too. How can you be convicted to help when you don’t know there’s a need? Last week he talked about the refugee crisis. I strongly encourage you to watch it. It was convicting and it made me proud of all that our church is doing. He will also teach on poverty and racism in this series.

Today he talked about foster care and adoption. He invited the women of Duck Dynasty to join him. The women shared stories of adoption in their family. They spoke about opening their homes to people in the name of Jesus. Apparently the whole clan lives on the same street. So grandma, great-grandma, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins are all there for each other.

After church I bought some gift cards, groceries and birthday gifts and visited a few families in need. I went to four subsidized housing complexes. One in particular was in horrible disrepair. Broken windows, weeds growing high everywhere, cars broken down, mattresses and couches thrown on the ground by the dumpster. Open doors and sadness and unhappiness abounded.

I went there to give some birthday gifts to two little boys who have their birthdays next week. They’re getting so big! I’ve known them since they were babies. Mom was at work and her brother was watching her four kids. She works two jobs and can barely afford to live in this apartment. She’s wanted to give up many times because she feels like she can never catch up. She doesn’t know what getting ahead is. She’s never had money in the bank or gone to a nice restaurant on her birthday or driven a new car. DHS has been called on her. We’ve helped her often over the years. I am so proud of her because she has incredible resilience and determination despite learning disabilities.

When I was leaving the complex I saw a Mom with her two kids at a picnic table. They were eating sandwiches. No Dad in sight. But, she was pregnant again. I wondered how she was making it. Does she have a support system? Where does she go when she needs help? I wondered if she gets afraid when she thinks about tomorrow. Have her kids been in DHS custody?

We were given a card in church today with pictures and descriptions of five kids in the Tulsa area who are going to age out of the foster care system if they are not adopted. We held that card in our hands and we prayed for each child by name. We prayed for God to divinely intervene and provide families for these kids. Where two or more are gathered..

Pastor Alex reminded us that we’re not all called to foster or adopt. But, he said we are all called to serve. The needs of foster parents can at times be huge, like respite for special needs kids or simple, like a rocking chair. Check out Careportal.org and watch the video. You’ll see what many of our local churches are doing to tangibly support our foster families’ right here in Tulsa. The Church at churches support the care portal.

Another way to love on families is to be a prayer warrior, mentor, and/or volunteer for at risk kids. Poverty, teenage pregnancy, school drop outs can all be generational. As the bride of Christ we need to physically, tangibly, spiritually and emotionally step into the lives of kids and love them into a new direction. God is the God of making the impossible possible. These kids are doing what other poor kids are doing because they don’t know what they’re missing; like a whole world of possibility that we need to introduce them to.

This is hard stuff because it is so important. As the body of Christ we need to step into these subsidized housing projects and be the hands and feet of Christ. Just because Mom got pregnant at 13, dropped out of school at 15, became a drug addict at 19 does NOT mean her kids have to follow in her footsteps.  But that is what is happening, by the hundreds.  This is one way that brings kids into the foster care system. How will they know they can take a different path if we don’t show them?

These low income housing complexes manifest isolation, depression, anger and hopelessness. Imagine every day is literally a day of survival. Will the electricity be cut off? Is there any money left on the food stamp card? Will the neighbor give you a ride to work without charging you $20? Will your man come home drunk again? Will something else break down, like the plumbing which will take weeks to get maintenance out? Will you go to bed listening to the guy beating your friend next door?

It’s Mother’s Day. If you are the person you are today because of the impact of a great mother, you have a lot to be thankful for. If you live in a nice house, pay your bills every month and have extra for a vacation and drive a nice car, you have a lot to be thankful for. If you have children who you tell, they can do anything they want to do and they believe it, you have a lot to be thankful for. If you send them to camp, and to Christian schools and put them in new clothes each time they grow an inch, and redecorate their room every time their interests change, you have a lot to be thankful for.

There are kids within a mile of you who started out with dreams just like your kids. For many of them their dreams have turned into nightmares. Will they eat today? Will they sleep in the car tonite? If this is all there is to life, why bother?

We are called to serve in community. Talk to your life group and pray for divine appointments and then do something. Be willing to go and visit these complexes. You have to believe this is a problem and there is a real need before you can do anything that will really make a difference. Call me and I will take you. We will always need foster care if we don’t intercept generational sin while the kids are still kids.

We are so far beyond just cooking hot dogs and hamburgers for people in these complexes. Or dropping off Christmas gifts. Or taking hygiene items and tossing the Gospel at them. If we only do drive-by outreach for these folks, if they do say ‘yes’ to Jesus how are we going to disciple them?

We are not all called to foster or adopt. But, we are all called to serve.

This is your divine invitation.

Know that you are prayed for.

In His service,

deni A. fholer

We can do more. We can do better.

National Social Work Month - Being Present

Empathy.

She stutters when she gets upset. She wanted to tell me why she was so upset but she was struggling to calm down. She took some breaths. I gave her some water. Reminded her we were not in a hurry and to take her time. She closed her eyes. When she opened her eyes she was crying.  She loves to knit. She had almost finished a blanket when her sister came to visit with her dog. The dog destroyed the blanket. She was crushed. Her sister said nothing. No, `too bad’. No, `I’m sorry’. Not even a `bad dog.’ Her sister scooped up her dog and left. She sat there feeling 45 years of hurt emotions all at once. She needed to get it out. She didn’t need me to fix it. She just needed me to be present with her. 

Unbearable pain.

One child died from cancer. One died from a car wreck. One had a heart attack. One died when he put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. She’s a mother with no one left to mother. She hurts so much she can’t breathe. She is distracted. She feels guilty. She has regrets. She’s begging God to take the pain away. She dissolves into sobs in my arms.

Whatever it takes.

The five year old grabs my hand and tells me he’s hungry. He lives with his Mom and his Dad, when Dad’s not in jail. They live in an apartment complex filled with bed bugs, shootings, broken toilets and so far away from basic needs they have to get groceries at a convenience store. Their food stamps are gone in just a couple of visits. But, he’s hungry and we don’t have any funds. I tell him he won’t go to bed hungry tonite. I go home and clean out my freezer and pantry and deliver them.

Bulls eye.

He’s really mad. He’s messed up. He won’t remember tomorrow what a jerk he’s being today. I know that. But, everyone standing around doesn’t.  I talk in a calm and level voice. My goal is to move him away from the person he’s so angry with. However, she’s egging him on, which is not helping. She’s messed up too. After awhile he calms down. The crowd disperses, except her. She takes a big gulp of vodka and leans forward and spits. But, she misses him and hits me in the face. Her expression confirms her mistake and she turns to go quickly in the opposite direction.  My eyes are burning and he is laughing, “So this is how I get you to have a drink with me?”

Driving by.

I was supposed to go to a meeting but I cancelled. I was driving by early in the morning and saw two of my homeless guys. I just bought breakfast which I rarely do. It was really cold outside. Neither one of them were wearing a coat.  I got out and opened my trunk. Two coats, two pairs of socks and two loaded backpacks with gloves, blankets, snacks and stocking caps. I gave them my breakfast and coffee and reminded them they need to share. They gave me toothless smiles and bear hugs. It was the last time I saw Jimmy. So thankful I didn’t drive by, but stopped.

Crisis.

He called me at 11:30pm. He’s ready to kill himself. I go to his apartment and we sit. Eventually he agrees he needs help. I load him into the car and we go to the ER. They call him back and he asks me to go with him. I do. He’s talking mostly about his ex-wife and his son. He misses them. He doesn’t understand why he needs to take his psych meds forever. Why can’t he get better without them? He doesn’t have insurance so at 4am they release him to the streets.  He has no family or support system. The crisis has subsided, this time, for now. But, what about next time…

The Double Whammy.

She was crying, a LOT. But, they handed her to me anyway. I took off my pens and cuddled her on my shoulder. I was going to sing, but that would be bad. I bounced. I walked. I patted. I used my calming voice. She kept crying. Then she stopped. I heard this deep gurgle and then the gates opened wide. She puked all down my back and filled her diaper. I looked at her face. She was smiling.

Advocate.

He was in prison almost 30 years for murder. He cried the first time we met. He was so scared he didn’t know where to begin. He was overwhelmed by his new life. I helped him get a birth certificate and social security card. We got some fines paid off. He got his driver’s license. We got him a flip phone to start. I was a job reference for him. That was almost 3 years ago. Today he’s got a great job, an apartment, new dentures and a girlfriend. Oh and a smart phone.

Home visit.

She could see only shadows. Her cataracts were eating away her vision. I went over to read her mail to her, pay her bills and take her grocery shopping. She waited for almost two years for “the system” to approve her for eye surgery since she doesn’t have insurance. She has diabetes so no surgery until she got her diabetes under control. I sent her to a doctor friend of mine. Her health improved and she went in for surgery. First the left eye and then the right. The last time I saw her she could see my face and told me I don’t look like I sound.  I got a text from her tonite, “Look outside the sunset is amazing!” To God be the glory!

Listening.

She can’t quit crying. Her blood pressure is up. She needs to go to school to pick up her grandson, but she just needs to let it out. She tells me about her failed marriages, her daughter who is a drug addict and sucking her dry; the affairs, the gambling and she is worried she stinks because she hasn’t showered in 3 days, “They cut off the water.”  She took her car in for repairs and the estimate and total amount due weren’t even close. “So, I guess he’ll keep my car.” After 45 minutes, she wasn’t perspiring anymore and her cheeks weren’t bright red. She was much calmer. “You asked me if there was something I could be thankful for today. You. It’s you. I needed someone to listen and you did. Thank you.”

When you give to Isaiah 58, In His service you touch many lives in our community. You won’t hear about it on the TV or read about it in the paper. But, quietly, faithfully, with perseverance and thankfulness Isaiah 58, In His service loves on the underdogs that are missed, forgotten, overlooked, mistreated and hurting unimaginable hurts.

March is National Social Work month. I am a Social Worker; licensed, degreed and certified.  I bear witness that God can change lives. I am hopeful and will not give up. I love God’s calling on my life! I am a child of God and am so thankful to serve a compassionate and loving God!!

Know that you are prayed for.  Thank you!

In His service,

deni A. fholer, BSW, MSW, LMSW, CCFP

president / executive director

Isaiah 58, In His service, Inc.

Let my Heart Overflow

Over the last six months I have had a number of young people, in their 20’s come talk to me because of fear. Some were having panic attacks and some were waking up in the middle of the night, sweating from nightmares.

One young lady sat on the edge of the chair, clutching her backpack and as tears flowed she said, “What if this is it, I mean the end. What if I never get  married? Or have kids? I can’t relax or get the thoughts in my head to slow down.” She sobbed.

These young people weren’t my usual peeps. They were well dressed; going to college, driving their own car, well connected because Mom and Dad are from the middle class. They have life goals and are motivated.  But the instability of the world was closing in on them and they became terrified. TV, radio, newspaper, Internet – they were overwhelmed by what they were watching and reading.

Be choosy by what you absorb. We should be cautious about what we watch on TV, what news we read in the paper and what we see on the internet. We should be intentional to take in inspiration, hope and love so we can give inspiration, hope and love.

So many people I talk to confess that their Christian example is flushed down the toilet when they’re behind the wheel of a car. What is it that tics us off when someone ignores a red light, throws us the finger when they pass us going 15 MPH over the speed limit, honk when we don’t floor the gas pedal when the light turns green.

It's a bummer that many of these folks feel their blood pressure rise as they drive to work in the morning and their anger and bad attitude drips off them and rubs off on all their coworkers. Do you watch or listen to stories in the morning that sets your day up for failure?

Or do you lift up your morning commute to the Father before you walk out the door? Are you Bible searching for verses to recite when you encounter an early morning or late afternoon idiot driver?

Are you looking for God moments? Do you ask the Father to bring to your attention the good, the blessed and the thankful throughout your day? It’s humbling and empowering.

In line at a McDonalds. Two cars in front of me was a Mercedes. The car in front of me was an old clunker. The driver was young and as she pulled up to pay, her hands were filled with change. But, the employee said her meal had been paid for and she pointed to the Mercedes. The young driver became ecstatic and bounced in her seat, change dropping as she waved at the driver of the Mercedes.

Sitting at a signal light. Next to me was a landscape truck and trailer. Crossing in front of us was a senior man in a wheelchair. He was alone and working hard to cross the street pushing with his one foot. I heard one of the guys in the truck speak Spanish as he pointed. Then he got out of the truck and rushed to push the man safely to the sidewalk.

Driving our Comanche kids to church one morning we passed a highway exit that always has a homeless person sitting there flying a sign. As we crossed the railroad tracks we saw a KOTV news truck parked on the other side of the road. The driver was walking towards the homeless man with a bag and drink from a local fast food restaurant.

A mentally ill friend who struggles daily to remain in reality also happens to have the biggest heart of anyone I know. She called to tell me she made it through the end of the month with money left over. She cares for many of the senior ladies in her apartment complex. One of her grannies needed some groceries so my friend bought and delivered them. She wanted to be sure I knew she saved Isaiah 58, In His service money because she didn’t have to ask us for help. “God told me to do it, so I said ‘yes Sir’ and it made my heart overflow.’”

Last Sunday Pastor Alex finished his sermon series called Endzone. The series talked about finances, 10-10-80. Tithe 10%, save 10% and use the 80% to pay your monthly bills. To those of us in debt <house and car excluded> he said, “By being in debt you’re telling God that His provision isn’t enough.” Ouch, the truth can hurt.

He ended the series with an illustration. He talked about a junior in high school, “God got his heart last summer.” Pastor said the young man hadn’t missed one Sunday since God got him. He said the young man drove his car to the family vacation in Texas so he could come back to attend church on Sunday since the family wouldn’t be returning. He told how the young man is an athlete and began a Bible study with his teammates. He also told Pastor Alex that he is saving to go to Egypt on a mission trip, but he hadn’t received much financial support.

Pastor Alex said God put on his heart to pass the offering buckets in all of the Churchat. locations to cover the cost of the young man’s mission trip. He asked us to give $1.00. He said some of us may be giving for the first time and others may give much more. He said any money received over and above the cost of the mission trip will be put in an account for the young man to use as he serves our amazing God!!

Feel inspired? Exciting isn't it? Now ask God to help you pay attention. Ask Him to show you opportunities for you to love someone until your heart overflows. Ready. Set. Go.

Know that you are prayed for.

In His service, d