Monday, March 31, 2014

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month


wear a blue ribbon

Rise early enough every morning to give yourself five minutes of quiet time

Say “hellllooo” first

Be a Good Samaritan when the moment arises

Compliment, only when you mean it

When someone is talking, LISTEN to him or her, no matter how many times you’ve heard the story before

Happy childhoods last a lifetime - so try to improve your marriage, your kids are counting on you

When others gossip, don’t join in

                                                   Lead by example - at home, at work and at church


Get to know your neighbors you might need each other one day

Hold yourself accountable

Hold others accountable

Every day write one thing on a piece of paper that you’re thankful for…

put them in a jar and pull them out at Thanksgiving and reread them

When you’re wrong, admit it

When you’re right - feel good - but don’t gloat

Frequent businesses that support local charities

Proof read everything you write

Volunteer

Don’t ask anyone to do anything you’re not willing to do yourself

Always use your manners, especially in traffic, at the mall and while waiting in line

Spend time with folks that you’d be proud to introduce to your folks

Forgive others and try to forget

Forgive yourself and try to remember

Boycott businesses you know to be unjust

Vote, but know as much as you can about their politics and their values

                                                 Always do more than you have to - at home, at work and at church


Pray Hard

Take yourself to dinner and a movie, if you don’t enjoy your own company, neither will others

Tithe with a pure heart and you’ll get back more than you give

Don’t get your blood pressure up over things out of your influence

Speak up over things within your circle of influence

Say “no” to requests that will encourage taking you for granted

Always say “yes” when you’re really needed

Child abuse is unbearable; if you suspect it, report it

                                             Always encourage fairness - at home, at work and at church


Be willing to take a little less, when someone else can get a little more

Buy only from roadside stands that misspell froots and vegtibles

Engage someone you don’t know in polite conversation twice a week

Support projects and programs that build “kidlet” character

Turn your music down in a residential neighborhood…turn it up when you’re on the open road

Always buy at least two plates at a food fund-raiser

Spend time with kidlets and seniors, and pay attention, you’ll learn a lot

When you make a promise – keep it, a child’s confidence is built on your word

Say “please” and “thank you” and hold a door – even when its not reciprocated

When you have a lot of mail, take it to the post office, give your carrier a break

Make it easy on the clean up person

                                                                Recycle – at home, at work and at church


Send someone a card, just because

Always corral your shopping cart, the next dent you prevent, may be your own

When you make it to the top, continue to visit the bottom…

you may have forgotten things and you still have things to learn

Pick up a piece of litter for every negative thought you have

Don’t force your children to go to church…introduce them to God and watch them want to go

Wear a blue ribbon in April and be prepared to explain why

 

You can make a difference in the lives you encounter today

and to make a difference in the lives encountered tomorrow?…




teach these things to your children










                                                                          deni-2006






Sunday, March 2, 2014

No one listens to me....


We had the 2nd annual Mighty Women of God Conference at First Baptist Church last Saturday…about 100 or so women showed up. There should have been 1,000 in attendance. Where were you???? Okay, I know I should have sent out an email.

The guest speaker was Janet Denison. You can go to www.janetdenison.com to learn more about her. She and her husband, Jim Denison, PhD also have a ministry called Denison Forum on Truth and Culture, you can go to www.denisonforum.org to check it out…

Janet said that by the time today’s second graders get to voting age, they will be persecuted for their faith in the USA. She said that when you add all the Christians together from around the world, the USA and Great Britain make up about 6%. Since we have smart phones…we can now take the Bible EVERYWHERE we go in the world. Folks across the water are hungry for Jesus and are risking life and limb to find Him and serve Him…but not here.

In the USA we have Miley Cyrus twerking, Phillip Seymour Hoffman dying of a drug overdose and kids suing their parents after they leave home at 18 for financial support. A man carried a gun - legally, mind you - into a movie theatre, shoots and kills a man over texting. Kids are killing themselves because they're bullied at school and online.

Let’s bring this closer to home…we have a task force discussing "what to do about" the downtown homeless population, a woman using a walker was run over by an SUV at 3rd and Lewis…and the driver kept going.  A man shot and killed himself and before his body was taken away, folks stopped to take pictures. Subsidized housing units are being destroyed in order to make room for lofts and apartments for the upper middle class.  Before a woman became `a dying woman’ she applied for Title 19 so she could get on the transplant list (you can’t be on a transplant list without insurance) but every medical record started out with, ‘cirrhosis of the liver from chronic alcoholism’ even though she had been sober for years…she never got the insurance and died.

I could go on, and on, and on…

So, how did you react to what I just wrote? Did you shake your head and then say, “Hey, after we drop the kids off let’s go to a movie?” Did you skip over it because it’s “just too hard to read,” and act like everything “out there” is fine. If our heart is hard, if we are desensitized to the hurting of others, we need to beseech the Father to remove the cheese crust from around our heart. What we’re missing is compassion. We really don’t care anymore. It’s just none of our business. Really???

We can do more. We can do better.

I have never seen so many people who, to everyone looking on, should have hit rock bottom years ago…but people’s rock bottoms are further down than I have ever seen. People have hard hearts. Loving people to Jesus in the USA is harder than it’s ever been. Immediate gratification, “I deserve it,’ the notion that ‘God never did anything for me before, why should I seek Him now’ or "God, who?" – is running rampant. People are willing to try anything to numb the pain…something like 38,000 people overdosed in 2010 – that’s more than traffic accidents and guns.  Scary stuff.

We didn’t make this mess over night. But, what are we doing to make it better?

GUTS church is working on putting together a public/private event at Union Public Schools; a massive outreach to our community - the details are still being ironed out.

It’s not enough.

Roughly 84,000 people live in a `food desert' in Tulsa.  The Real Good Food Truck, a mobile grocery store will be making stops at 12 locations in north Tulsa and west Tulsa starting this summer.

It’s not enough.

Winter Jam, E Conference, Christian musicians, Beth Moore, Secret Keeper Tween Conference, Promise Keepers…they all come to Tulsa.

It’s not enough.

Many churches in our community have benevolence ministries and give away food and clothes and help with utilities.  There are ministries throughout Tulsa who set up shop once a week to share the gospel and provide a hot meal. My church, First Baptist Church Tulsa provides a night of respite once a quarter for caregivers of special needs kids. We have two Caring Centers, one downtown and one in south Tulsa.

It’s not enough.

Tulsa does fundraisers – tons of them in our community – for breast cancer, Alzheimer’s, heart disease, etc. The idea is to raise awareness and raise money to help fund a cure…

It’s not enough.

Many churches have Celebrate Recovery meetings, Grief Share, Divorce Care, Stephen Ministry, etc.

It’s not enough.

What can truly make a difference? You. Yes, you.

I’m a social worker, it is very easy for me to look around and see all of the holes in the system; the enormous gap between the rich and the poor and I fight like crazy to keep people from falling through the cracks and perishing. But, there are so many and they are perishing so quickly…partly because the system sucks and partly because nobody cares enough to advocate for the down and out. It’s hard, really hard to do, there are many obstacles and often it takes so long that we lose people in the process.  There are not enough advocates. I hear pew sitters all the time saying we don’t “know anyone” who needs help or we can’t find anyone to invite to church.  Really?  We’re looking with our eyes closed. If we don’t see a problem, then we don’t have to do anything…so we live in denial and ignorance until the poor, the hurting, the mentally ill, the addict, shows up at our doorstep or they turn out to be a family member and THEN we want to do something.  If we’re hiding in the closet of denial until “one of those people” touches us…I promise, we won’t have to wait very long.

I have vented many times asking churches to do more. To provide free child care, to provide respite for caregivers taking care of family members with Alzheimer’s, to serve food 3 or 4 or 5 times a week, provide transportation to those trying to get to work or school on time because if they rely on our transit system they’ll be late or if they work on Sunday they’re out of luck.  There are kids throughout our community who need mentors – men and women. We have more seniors living alone; isolated, overmedicated, hungry and depressed than we could ever imagine.  Trust me, there's at least one in your neighborhood.

When I ask the tough question to a leader in a church, “So WHY are we not doing more outreach to share Jesus with our community?” It’s not because we don’t have money, we have a lot of financial donors; Tulsa has been “the” charity capital before.

We don’t have volunteers. We don’t have you.

We’re a selfish bunch. We also have our priorities messed up. How many activities do our kids really need to be in? How many vacations to Disney World do we need to take? How much TV do we have to watch? How much time do we REALLY need to text? twitter? Facebook? Instagram? Pinterest? Really??? Really???

How many outfits do we really need? How many concerts and evenings eating out do we need? How much “me” time do we need?  How many hours do we have to golf or scrapbook a week?

When we say we don’t have time to volunteer…so what exactly are we filling our time with? And did we talk to Jesus about it? Is what we fill our life with what we want, what we think we should do, because we want to sound, “Busy with important stuff?”

My pastor has thrown down the gauntlet…over Lent he has asked us to sacrifice one thing with intention and faithfulness; his family is giving up TV in the evenings.  He has also asked us to share Jesus with one person…over a 40-day period. That’s it. It’s really not a lot…except to selfish people.

I would be willing to bet if we sacrificed “me” God would teach us a lot. Make a point to spend time with Jesus over Lent…ask Him if we’re living “my” life or are we living “His?” There’s probably a whole lotta “me” in there.

We’re selfish and we like it that way. We’ve earned that expensive dinner, that new purse, that antique bookcase, that vacation to Hawaii.  So, we can either accept that we are selfish and we want to live for our enjoyment and pleasure and quit acting like He matters when there's dust on our Bible OR we can pray for forgiveness - and mean it.

When we repent, then we can truly become servants. It’s hard. Darn hard. But, nothing is more important than our relationship with Jesus. Nothing.

People are perishing. Are you listening? People are literally dying all around us and we’re acting as if it’s okay, “Maybe I should have talked to him about Jesus...well that's life.” Hard hearts. 6% - USA and Great Britain combined are Christ followers. That’s not very many. It’s time to care. It’s time to sob over people perishing and then wipe our eyes and ask God to show us how He wants to use us. Right here, right now. Hurry. Eternity is urgent.

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of His glory.”

At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.

“Woe to me,” I cried (Isaiah). “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.”

Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar.  With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.”

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us? 

And I said, “Here am I. Send me!!” Isaiah 6: 3-9

Where are all of the Isaiahs????

 d

 

 

 

 

Monday, February 17, 2014

Pray without ceasing...

Priority Prayer!!

Happening NOW on Wednesday nights at First Baptist Church Tulsa, 403 S. Cincinnati Avenue, in room 316 south, the Luke 10 classroom, at 6:15pm -we are gathering in prayer!!

You're invited to join us...In person, or By emailing prayer requests, By texting prayer requests, By sending someone in need,

Join us...For a meal, For prayer for yourself, For a listening ear, For a word from Jesus, To testify what Jesus is doing in your life!

We would love to buy a meal for you...Get in touch with me so I can tell you more!

"For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, Who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in light!:" Colossians 1:9-12

deni A. fholer
Luke 10, director
Isaiah 58, In His Service, Inc., executive director
918-260-1933

We can do more. We can do better.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

I'm Gonna Do Something!

I woke up this morning
Saw a world full of trouble now
Thought, how’d we ever get so far down
How’s it ever gonna turn around
So I turned my eyes to Heaven
I thought, “God, why don’t You do something?”
Well, I just couldn’t bear the thought of
People living in poverty
Children sold into slavery
The thought disgusted me
So, I shook my fist at Heaven
Said, “God why don’t You do something?”
He said, “I did, I created you.”

If not us, then who
If not me and you
Right now, it’s time for us to do something
If not now, then when

Will we see an end
To all this pain
It’s not enough to do nothing
It’s time for us to do something
I’m so tired of talking
About how we are God’s hands and feet
But, it’s easier to say than be
Live like angels of apathy who tell ourselves
It’s alright, “Somebody else will do something”
Well I don’t know about you
But I’m sick and tired of a life with no desire
I don’t want a flame, I want a fire
I wanna be the one who stands up and says,
“I’m gonna do something”
We are the salt of the earth
We are a city on a hill
But we’re never gonna change the world
By standing still

No we won’t stand still!!!
No we won’t stand still!!!
No we won’t stand still!!!
  • Matthew West, Into the Light
                                                                                                                                

Eddie Warrior Commencement Address November 2013


I was asked to give the commencement address to the graduating class at Eddie Warrior Correctional Center on November 07, 2013.  There were 44 ABE graduates, 18 Literacy graduates, 4 Connors State College graduates and 61 GED graduates. It was an honor I will cherish forever. Thank you to Harrel Tomlin and Warden Sharon McCoy.

Hellllooo. It is just so awesome that I get to be here with you on this special day!           

Not long after I graduated from high school my Mom told me I could either go to college or I could go to California and try my hand at my dream career – which was becoming a stuntwoman!  At the time I did NOT want to go to college so I headed to CA. I stayed out there for 3 years and I was stoked to be able to learn all kinds of stunts, like being thrown out of buildings, set on fire, hit by cars, doing vehicle transfers. I got to write and perform in live action dramas and meet some really famous people. I eventually got my Screen Actors Guild card and did a few movies and television shows. I must tell you that after a 20+ year career my entire screen time lasts about as long as a cat in water…meooww...

I returned to Tulsa and got involved in a church and an incredible life group. Even though I was saved when I was 8yo, this period of time with Jesus showed me what relationships were all about. He introduced me to serving outside my comfort zone and taught me what obedience was all about. During this time Jesus revealed to me some invaluable truths. At some point in my life I would be called into ministry. He gave me the chapter of Isaiah 58 in the Bible as a promise that the lessons and truths in that chapter would one day come to fruition in my life.  He also impressed upon me that I would never marry and I would never have children. He was preparing me for a life that would be radically different from many of my peers.

However, I was enthusiastic and impatient so I met with one of my pastors and I told him what God had shown me. I guess I thot he’d go, “Wow, that’s great, let me help you get that ministry up and running.” Instead he was somewhat condescending and patted my hand and told me that I was too young and inexperienced to serve God in such a big way.  He told me I knew nothing of the world and I needed life experience before I could minister to others.  I was devastated and I began to doubt my faith and my relationship with Christ. Did I not hear God? Was I really that far off base? I figured I had no discernment and was just screwing everything up…

I distinctly remember talking with a friend at the time and I said, “If the pastor is right then I need to find out what the world is all about. So, I’m putting God on a shelf and maybe I’ll get back to Him and maybe I won’t.”  As I said that I felt as if Jesus’ hand was lifted from me – He didn’t leave me mind you – but He is a gentle God and He allowed me to exercise my free will and go out and mess up my life…at least for awhile.

I experienced the world and I made tons of mistakes, I hurt lots of people but mostly I disappointed me…and with each mistake I made there was a part of me that was sad because in my heart I knew I was intentionally and knowingly choosing to sin. 

I began working for a residential treatment program for abused and neglected children. Those little ones had been physically, sexually, emotionally and verbally abused.  They were  very damaged children and experienced more torture and suffering by the age of six than many of us experience in a lifetime.   

During my 7 years at the Yahweh Center…I saw how God could transform lives.  Because one of the lives He transformed was me.  Jesus reminded me that He loved me and He still had a plan and a purpose for my life…if only I would seek His forgiveness.  He reminded me that He knew all about my rebellion and my secrets and He still cared for me.  He was still waiting with open arms for me to repent and turn from my life of sin…and eventually I did!

I met two amazing Social Workers and they encouraged me to go to college. I was 33 at the time and I laughed at them and said I would never make it, first, I was too old and second, I really sucked in school.  In fact when I started the first grade I hated it. I was used to playing outside and then all of a sudden I had to sit in a class and write and listen!! AAHHH. So, one day I decided to hit my teacher over the head with my lunch pail and I went screaming down the hallway and out the front door. My sister was in 6th grade, sitting in the principal’s class as I made my dramatic exit. Needless to say she was mortified.  However, she did eventually forgive me, which is a reminder of God’s ability to soften hearts.

I took one college class with encouragement from these social workers and hey the school didn’t implode and I actually passed the class! I worked full-time and went to college on a half time basis for 7 years. Finally, one of the counselors called me in and said, “You know deni if you ever want to get a degree you’ll need to go to school full-time.” I applied at Meredith College in Raleigh and was accepted and earned by Bachelors in Social Work degree. Then I went to UNC-Chapel Hill for my Masters in Social Work. It took me 10 years to get 2 degrees. I got a few scholarships but I took the responsibility for paying for my education myself. I now have a license in Social Work and I’m a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional. I will always have student loans…but I would do it all again the same way in a heartbeat.  My education is something I worked hard for and it means the world to me. Most importantly, it is God’s plan for my life. Because of my education He has me serving Him in ways I never could have without going to school.

In 2004 I moved back to Tulsa after living in NC for 16 years.  My family lives there and my house is in the heart of the population He has called me to minister to.  I spend most of my time w/ folks who are hurting. People who put God on a shelf, like I did and are lost in despair and hopelessness.  I am a Crisis Social Worker now and there are days when I am literally in the midst of life or death situations.  I could never do what I do without my life experiences or without my education or most importantly without my Heavenly Father.

God fulfilled His promise to me when Isaiah 58, In His Service became a 501©3 nonprofit ministry in 2010. You see I did hear the Father all those years ago when He told me I was going to be called into ministry. However, the pastor was right, 30 years ago I wouldn’t have been prepared for the ministry I am doing today.  Even though I left Christ to experience the world…He was teaching me and growing me even in my disobedience.  He knew that one day I would come back. He knew that He would one day use me to serve Him once I got out of His way and got the world out of my system. I was His prodigal daughter.

I must admit there were days when I felt so small, so insignificant in a big cruel world. I wondered how God could care about me. With all the chaos out there He had to be distracted from even knowing I existed.

I went on a mission trip to Guatemala last month. This trip was being planned about a year before we were to leave.  The villages we were to visit were being decided upon months ago.  One of the villages we went to was St. Joseph’s high in the mountains in an extremely remote area.  When our van rounded a corner, we could see on the crest of a hill hundreds of people standing in line waiting for us.  It was a humbling sight.

We took a medical team with us.  This village had NEVER had a medical team visit them before, in fact many of the villagers had never seen a doctor.  But, on this particular Wednesday on this particular day in October God divinely guided our team to this village for a specific purpose.

One of the doctors listened to the heart of an 8yo little girl and determined a defect. She had a hole in her heart.  The pediatric nurse practitioner examined another child that had pneumonia.  Both of these children were transported to Guatemala City for medical treatment that saved both of their lives.  The coordination and networking that had been established over the proceeding years came into play on that specific day so that these two little ones could be saved.

God cared so much for these 2 children that He orchestrated everything so we would be there and have the supports in place to make a difference in the lives of these families. We were not there by chance or coincidence.  Isn’t that just the coolest?  Now, if God can bring a bunch of Americans thousands of miles away to a remote mountain village for 2 children – He can touch your life right where you are, right now, even in this little town of Taft, Oklahoma. He sees what you’ve accomplished, what you are struggling with, what you’re afraid of, what you want, what you need and He wants to be here for you.

Psalms 139 says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well…How precious to me are your thots, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand, When I awake I am still with you!”

So, now it is not my life, it is His. He is no longer on the shelf…but I am. You see the greatest gift He has taught me is that He is all I need. I have worked with so many women who feel as if they have to have a man in their life to feel complete or because they are codependent or just can’t stand being alone.  Now, I realize not everyone is called to be single like I am. But, the key is laying your life at the foot of the cross and being willing to do whatever He calls you to do.  Once you do that…then He will give you the desires of your heart. Because once you give Him all of you, you’ll only want what He wants for you and that is His best.

Ladies you have accomplished much. Don’t stop. Now that you’ve come this far…keep going.  Ask God to show you what His plan and purpose for your life is.  I promise it will be better than anything you could ever dream of yourself.

Ladies, you rock!!!  Congratulations!

 

Thursday, November 07, 2013

Guatemala, October 2013

I was listening to a lady sharing with someone else about a recent mission trip she went on. She said before they left, they asked for safe traveling mercies, no bumps in the traveling schedule, beautiful weather, etc. She said when she returned God answered their prayers, everything was perfect, she got some great pictures and had a wonderful time.


When asked about what God did while they were there she said, "The children were so cute and loved everything we gave them."

I shook my head and my heart sank. Until 2010 I purposely did not want to go on short term international mission trips simply because it sounded to me like it was a great opportunity for wealthy pew sitters to go on vacation and say they did some good work for God.


I went to Poland in 2010 and God began closing my eyes to why other people went on mission trips and began opening my eyes to why HE wanted me to go on mission trips.

In October 2013, I went to Guatemala with a group from First Baptist Church Tulsa and we met some people from Mexico and Louisiana who joined us to serve. I made a concerted effort before we left to ask my life group, Luke 10 to pray for God's will to be done, to not pray for safety but to pray for salvation and for the team to stay out of God's way.


We were supposed to leave bright and early on a Monday morning but the plane to Houston was delayed by hours so we left late Monday afternoon. By the time we got to the motel it was like 3am or so. The plan was for us to package medicines for the first village on Monday afternoon but instead we were doing it early Tuesday morning.

I went to the restaurant to gather coffee for some of the preppers and ended up spilling coffee on my left forearm and stomach. I immediately had empathy for the senior who sued McDonald's over a coffee spill...if I listened closely I could hear my arm sizzling...but I praised God anyway...

We ventured high into the Guatemalan mountains in a couple of 15 passenger vans. The roads had gravel on them which offered some comfort but at times you could look out the window straight down and see what looked to be a thousand foot drop. Because of the weight of so many of us in the van...we pulled over and walked down for fear that if we drove down the van wouldn't make it back up the mountain to get us out.


We crossed an Indiana Jones bridge on foot and were greeted by policia with large knives, larger guns and uniforms. I was unsure if they were there to protect us or to protect the villagers from these radical Americans.

We brought a medical team, a construction team and a ministering team with boots and shoes and Bible stories and games. The ladies and girls of the villages wore brightly colored tops and skirts, handmade by the women. They lived in small buildings made with wood...often you could see through the slats in the walls and floors. No insulation, no TV, or Wii, no X-box or Ipod...however, we did see a cell phone hanging in a pouch outside above the hammock.

The hills were covered in corn stalks, chickens roamed freely and many of the kidlets were barefooted and maneuvering the uneven and steep terrain with ease. The women prepared lunch for us, carrots, white rice, squash, tortillas and remember those chickens? Killed, cleaned and cooked in one day; crunchy on the outside and tender on the inside. Delicious!

The village of St. Joseph was high in the mountains and we were told we were the first missionary team that had ever been to this village. Pastor Joseph was an amazing man of God. He and the pastors of the other villages had been preparing the villagers for our visits for months. They gathered the shoe size information so we could purchase the shoes and they shared with the villagers why we were coming...to share the love of Jesus in a tangible way.

A young child was diagnosed with pneumonia by our nurse practitioner. Our lead contact in Guatemala and our team contact made arrangements to get this child in a vehicle and take her to the hospital in Guatemala. But, the Mom said 'no.' She was afraid she'd never see her child again. Our team rallied around this family and prayed for them, asking God to give them peace and to help them to trust that the plan was in the best interest of their child. Thankfully, the Mom agreed. The child made it to the hospital and received medicine and recovered fully. Praise God!

Another child was found to have a hole in her heart. Again, the contacts from both teams worked together to get this child to the Kiros House in Guatemala, sort of a Ronald McDonald house, just a few blocks from the hospital. It is my understanding the child and her family are staying in Kiros House so the little one can receive treatment.

Think of this. A group of Americans plan a mission trip a year or more in advance. They pray and collaborate with the missionaries in Guatemala to get everything organized. The pastors of the villages prepare the villagers for the aid that is coming. But, only God knew two children were going to need the medical intervention that was available only on that Wednesday in October.

How cool is that?

The village we visited on Thursday was not far from the highway and the villagers wore clothes much like we do. They had bathrooms with toilets that thankfully for me, were only a few yards from where we were ministering.

I woke up Thursday morning feeling a bit loose, at least my bowels were. By the time we got to the village and had set up for our first group of kidlets, I had visited the toilet about 5 times. God divinely guided my stealth exits to the bathroom in-between my opportunities to teach the kidlets a few phrases in English. Eventually standing became a major effort so I encouraged and prayed for the kidlets from a chair.

When we had seen all of our kidlets, the team continued to love on them while the medical team continued to see everyone who wanted to see a medical provider. I sat in a far corner, feeling the color drain from my face and wondering how in the world could anything be left inside me that wanted so desperately to come out. I stood and felt as if I just got off a roller coaster...I felt the volcano readying to erupt and my eyes were fixed on the door. I made it.

Now, I longed for the door of the bathroom and that it was available but ugh, it looked so far away...I made it about halfway and the sky tipped and down I went. It had rained earlier so I was covered in mud. I determined to rise and walk and I am certain if anyone saw me they would have assumed I had been drinking alcohol, my feet seemed detached from my legs and I was certain an alien was about to burst through my stomach. I stepped onto the concrete floor in the bathroom and the next thing I remember was the volcano erupting, I collapsed into a puddle of water, I hoped...Then I felt someone tugging at my arm and patting my head. What I heard over and over again was, "Dios, Dios, Dios."

What brought me to my senses was that the woman was praying for me. She also seemed to be screaming indiscriminately to anyone who would listen. I managed to crawl into the stall and close the door. Immediately members of our medical team were there to rescue me. However, at that moment I was exceedingly humbled and realized I had no back-up jeans for just such an occasion. Eventually I cleaned up, best that I could, and was assisted into the medical area for the doc to take a look see. 

I knew I was gonna be okay, because every food particle and liquid that I had consumed for the past month was now a part of the landscape...so there could not be anything left to cause chaos. Apparently, I was pale and the doc mentioned by blood pressure was 84/60...a bit low for me. He gave me some antibiotics and strongly encouraged me to drink water. I was escorted to a truck and delivered back to the motel. 

I've been told I survived the "Guac Squats," and I should be proud. Alas, it was the most humiliating experience of my life and the most amazing experience of my life. There I was thousands of miles from home and pooping all over myself and being prayed for by someone who didn't know me but knew I needed a healing hug from the Father.


How cool is that?

The last night we were in Guatemala City, our team shared God moments from the experience:

17 people came to Jesus on this trip!!! Hallelujah!!


The construction team said it was so awesome to share with the villagers what they were going to do and then the villagers jumped in to work...they were investing in their future.

Pastor Francisco from St. Joseph prayed for us before we left. His words were profound and guided by the Holy Spirit. Jesus had visited his village that day and he was thankful...and he also asked that they not be forgotten.

One of our team members pulled her hair brush out of her purse and brushed a little girl's hair and then put it in a ponytail...a line formed and this team member continued to love on these little girls by brushing and styling their hair...


Two of our team members taught the village children how to jump rope and play Duck, Duck, Goose and simple games that our kids take for granted..

Team members blew up balloons and let them fly...the villagers knocked each other over to get one...simple pleasures...

A little boy was wearing boots that had holes in them, you could see his toes sticking out. After he received his new boots, he took the old ones off and put on the new ones...the smile he shared was breathtaking!

On the van driving through Guatemala city one of the docs and our Bible teacher sang Open the Eyes of my Heart in English and Spanish...it was a blessing...a subtle reminder that we can always do more and do better....

We visited the Kiros House in Guatemala City a couple blocks from the hospital. This is an incredible, loving ministry for kids with cancer. They do not charge for their services and the whole family of each child who is being treated at the hospital can stay in the Kiros House. So many of these families are from the villages, like the ones we ministered to and cannot afford to go back and forth. 

The executive director (the son of the mighty man of God who began this ministry) told us a story. He said a number of years ago there were two little boys staying in the Kiros House and got bored and decided to go AWOL and ended up at the soccer stadium down the road. They watched a professional team practicing and eventually the kidlets caught the eye of the goalie.

The goalie came over and talked with the boys...and they told him their story. His heart was touched and he went to the Kiros House and found out more about this amazing ministry. This goalie fell in love with the kidlets and families and staff of the Kiros House and became a devoted supporter.

Eventually, the goalie's team won the World Cup and the goalie played an integral part in the victory so media from all over the world wanted an interview. The goalie said, "Sure, I'll give interviews but you have to interview me at a specific location..."

He brought them all to the Kiros House and he was asked question after question about his contributions in winning the World Cup...but he kept redirecting the conversation to the ministry. He shared what a great work was taking place, how lives were being transformed, how they struggled financially and how invaluable their services are.


People responded and many folks fell in love with the Kiros House and began supporting this great work. They are now praying for a bigger location so they can minister to more people. As you can guess, the need is astronomical.

I have a scar now on my left arm where I spilled the coffee on me. Every time I look at the scar, I will think of Guatemala and Jesus. I was obedient to my Father by simply being present and He brought 17 people unto Him...and I got to be there to see Him work!

God simply asks, "Who can I send? Who will go for Me?"

Here I am Lord, send me.
deni






Saturday, August 24, 2013

"Deni. DENI! I'm Having a Stroke..."


On Friday, August 16th, I got the telephone call that we all dread. My Mom called and said she was having a stroke. Although most of my days are filled with responding to crises…it’s different when it’s your Mom. I felt the color leave my face, my heart started beating faster and my palms began to sweat. I was at work, so I grabbed my stuff and bolted out the door.

As I drove to their house…I was talking to the Father…please help me think and not react, remind me that I do this all the time and be calm, help me explain this to my Dad…is this really a stroke?? Father, no matter what, keep her in the palm of your hand…

Mom was at the Braum’s and her left arm fell useless. She however, got in her car and drove home. My Dad suffers from dementia and she wanted to talk to him before she was taken to the hospital. When I got to the house, I had 911 on the phone and we did the steps to check for stroke. I asked Mom to smile, to try to raise her left arm, to say a sentence. As we were checking she said she could feel the numbness and tingling going down her left leg.

My parents live in “no man’s” land between Tulsa and Sand Springs and I was keenly concerned that EMSA would get lost even though I gave directions to the 911 operator. No kidding, they pulled up in front of their house in 7 minutes. In came 3 firemen and 3 paramedics. I got Mom’s meds together and talked to my Dad. He just looked at me and all I saw was fear. We got Mom’s rings and watch off. They did the stroke checklist, checked her blood pressure, which was very high and decided they needed to move faster.

2 firemen picked her up and carried her out the front door and put her on the gurney. One of the paramedics was talking to my Dad saying it was a good thing we acted quickly. My Dad was confused and scared. He didn’t understand why I asked him to go to the hospital and wanted to stay in the house, “I want to be here when she comes back.”

So, I got in my car and called my sister. I told her we were headed to St. John Medical Center and Dad was frantic but still at the house. My sister was on nephew duty so she drove to my parents’ house to be with Dad. I called my younger sister and she and I met at SJMC ER.

When we got into the exam room, Dr. Wilson and Heather, RN were intently caring for my Mom. A CT scan had been done to confirm it was an ischemic stroke. Mom’s blood pressure was at one point 216/120. We began trying to pinpoint when the stroke started.

With a stroke, time is of the essence.  By confirming when Mom’s ischemic stroke began, determined if they could give her Intravenous Recombinant Tissue Type Plasminogen Activator or t-PA; a blood clot buster medicine.  t-PA needed to be administered within 3 hours of the start of the stroke. We determined we were still within that time frame.

Then entered Dr. Anna (Wanahita) as she introduced herself; the Medical Director of the St. John Heyman Stroke Center. The stroke center has been awarded advanced certification for comprehension stroke centers and ranked 10 percent nationally by the Joint Commission.  Dr. Anna had an incredibly intense bedside manner, with a touch of humor.  My Mom at times had trouble answering questions because of the loudness of the controlled chaos in the room.  Medical staff was moving at lightning speed and she couldn't hear and struggled to understand what Dr. Anna was saying.

This did not faze Dr. Anna in the least. She repeated her questions, continually checked Mom’s signs and symptoms, projected a calming effect and was in control of making decisions that saved my Mom’s life.

When it was determined t-PA could be given and Dr. Anna had ordered, Dr. Anna stayed right by my Mom, checking her and even telling my Mom that she is a new Mom. She also continually checked the clock, and when she decided it had been too long and the t-PA needed to be injected NOW, she leaned out into the hallway and strongly encouraged staff to step it up a notch. Her face was intent while looking down the hall, but immediately softened when she stepped back into the room and beside my Mom’s bed.

One of the possible side effects of this medicine is bleeding into the brain. The goal of giving her this med is to “attack” blood clots and drastically reduce the size of them thereby reducing the amount of permanent damage. Once the medicine was given, Dr. Anna remained bedside and continuously checked Mom for lessening of symptoms, “Smile, raise your arm and touch your nose, now the other side, lift your leg, which leg am I touching….”

It wasn’t long before positive indications were noted of Mom’s improvement.  But, the hub-bub of the staff in her room and the gravity of what could happen to her, finally hit her.  She began to cry and looked at me and said, “You’ve GOT to pray for me.” I leaned over her bed and took her hands into mine. I began beseeching the Father…for a miracle…for peace…for His loving presence…for every doctor, nurse and staff person…as I prayed I felt the warmth of God’s peace and I realized how quiet it was. No one was moving or talking…in the center of a sense of urgency for a few moments there was silence and the Spirit of God filled that room…and fear was banished.

As soon as I said, “Amen,” I kissed my Mom and the movement immediately began again. They took Mom for another CT scan and then took her to ICU for the next 24 hours.

On Saturday, Dr. Dunaway came to tell us what happened.  He began saying how he shouldn’t be talking with Mom, because of the size of the blood clot - she should have died. He held up his hands and it was about the size of a cantaloupe, “But now it’s about this size.” He used his thumb and index finger to indicate something about the size of a pea.  He also told her that she has had over 50 TIA’s (Transient Ischemic Attack) on the left side of her brain and she is filled with blockage. He told her that he hoped she enjoyed her last cigarette because it was her LAST cigarette or she’d be back in the hospital with another stroke and the next outcome most likely wouldn’t be as miraculous as this one.

My Mom’s left arm, left leg and speech are normal! To look at her you would never guess she had a stroke that almost killed her. She was discharged to home – no rehab – on the Monday after her stroke – truly miraculous!

She is on more medicines now and she has been cigarette free since her stroke and she has been blessed with an incredible gift of continued life. Needless to say, my Dad was so thrilled to have her home...we all were. 

My sisters and brother's-in-law worked seamlessly taking care of our Mom and Dad. Emails and texts were sent to prayer warriors, we each went where we needed to be exactly when we needed to be there, folks rallied and were at the ready if needed – it truly was a divinely guided weekend.

My Mom knows Jesus so if He had chosen to take her; we would still be giving Him the glory.  I’m sharing this because there are lessons to be communicated.

First, if you’re a smoker….this could happen to you. If you want to quit but don’t think you can call 1-800-STOP-NOW or give E-cigarettes a try.

Next, my Mom was given t-PA with 23 minutes to spare. With a stroke, getting the person quickly to the hospital is critical. My Mom’s symptoms weren’t textbook, but the loss of function of her left arm and the rate at which she was losing function in her left leg were big red flags.

These are the warning signs for a stroke taken from the National Stroke Association website – www.stroke.org:

Use FAST to remember the warning signs of a stroke:

F – Face. Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the person’s face droop?

A – Arms. Ask the person to raise their arms. Does one arm drift downward?

S – Speech. Ask the person to repeat a simple phrase. Is their speech slurred or strange?

T -  Time. If you notice ANY of these symptoms call 911 immediately.

Also, try to remember when the first symptoms of a stroke start; time is critical in determining when t-PA can be given. At the FIRST signs of a stroke call 911.

Ruminating over the last weekend, it is humbling to see the many miracles God gave our family. One of the most amazing gifts was how He divinely guided the medical personnel who cared for my Mom. When I was driving to the ER from my parent’s home one of the things I talked to the Father about was giving me righteous anger and the ability to articulate for the advocacy of best practice for my Mom. So many times I have gone to the hospital and felt as if I was going into battle because so many hospital staff forget or don’t care about the importance of being professional, compassionate and empathetic.

Thankfully, each medical staff member we encountered was professional, compassionate, patient and empathetic. Our family would like to thank the following doctors, nurses and staff members. You not only moved with a sense of urgency, you did so with a sense of humor and an attitude of grace that made all the difference in the world to my Mom and my family.

Dr. Anna Wanahita
Dr. Wilson (ER)
Heather, RN (ER)
Dr. Dunaway (Stroke Team)
Natalie, RN (ICU)
Dr. S (ER, ICU)
Margaret, APRN (ER)
Nine West Staff

In His service, deni